To turn around and go home from holiday?

[Focusanddetermination]

I'm on day one of holiday, just arrived and seriously considering turning around and driving straight home again.

Reasons for going home :

1. I've been hit by a wave of dark depression on way here, I'm crying, feel like I'm in a dark place. I feel so alone, and ugly, and unloved
2. The weather here though at the beach is worse than where we came from, grey to reflect my mood
3. The tide is out, my child doesn't understand, they are just asking over and over for the sea, it's far out
4. The place we've come to I've spent a lot of money on, it doesn't feel worth it, it's more downtrodden that I thought or would be. I don't know what we're going to do here for a week. I could recoup some of the money by leaving straight away before we check in. It would total about £200 with fuel and lost deposit. If we stay ill have spent closer to £1000 on hotel, food in a week

Reasons against going home '

1. I recognise I'm in a dark mood, it could lift, things could get better
2. My child just wants a beach holiday, which this is... Sort of

I can't discuss it with my child, they are too small. They don't understand money or why mummy is crying. They want a happy childhood holiday, this isn't it. They want a happy mummy and I'm not that. I'm so unhappy this is what they will remember.

For context, I do suffer with severe depression, and am seeking treatment but really there isn't much on the NHS.

[Cheeseandlobster]

Could you give yourself a couple of days to try to make the most of it. I suspect if you go home earlier you will end up feeling worse for not giving it a fair chance

[RealMermaid]

Your child doesn't care about the place being run down. They won't even notice. Keep on going and they will make some happy memories. You might even find seeing them running around on the beach helps you to feel better.

[WanderleyWagon]

I didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry that you're having such a tough time.
I've found the Samaritans helpful when things have felt really desperate and awful; maybe just having a chat with another adult might help a bit?
Re: hotel, could you maybe give the holiday a chance for a day or two, and enquire with the hotel about checking out early and getting a part-refund?
Sending support, and hoping that you feel a bit better soon.

[OhioOhioOhio]

How far away is the sea from your normal home? How old is your child?

[katy1213]

Whatever it's like, it will be a change of scene. Little children will play on a beach whatever the weather. And the tide comes back in twice a day. Get a local tide table and plan to be at the beach as it's coming in.

[Dozycuntlaters]

Do you have a good support network back at home? If you do then to be honest I would go back home.

it's all well and good people say stay there and see, but with depression when you can feel yourself slipping back into that dark place you need to nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand. Get yourself back to familiarity and routine OP and I really hope you feel brighter soon.

[Goinghome20]

Sorry to hear about the wave. Can you ring your GP and see if you can get an online consultation. Are you on meds just now?

Youre not alone. You have us and a child who loves you. You are good enough, you are their mummy and just the fact you are there loving them and wanting the best experience for them is enough.

The weather can change and the tide will come in.

Sending you a big hug.

[Dennysheart]

Whereabouts have you gone? Big hugs. Are you on your own?

[ShinyMe]

I would give it a few days before leaving.

The tide will come in again in a few hours. In the UK the weather rarely stays the same for long, so later and tomorrow might be better.
As your child is young, they don't care about greyness or a dilapidated resort or poor weather. They care about digging in the sand, paddling in the waves (the tide will be in after lunch) and smearing ice cream all over their face. They would probably happily do the same every day for a week. You don't need lots of activities and special things to entertain them.
And you aren't unloved. Your child adores you. You have a chance to make some lovely holiday memories for them.

[StarEclipse]

I would give it a few days. PP is right that your child won't notice.

We went to Pontins 2 years ago, it was hell, we wanted to leave. Dirty, freezing (literally!) pool and just nothing good about it.

We remember it with horror, the kids LOVED it and keep asking to go back!

[Hindsite]

Am I right in thinking you’re there on your own? If you post where abouts you’re holidaying would it help if a local mumsnetter meets up with you for a bit of adult company?

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Are you alone OP?

Can you say where you are and people could suggest things to do?

[ScorpioSphinxInACalicoDress]

Oh bless you.
It's horrible when you've been looking forward to something and it turns out not what you expected.
Your little boy will still love it. Try and focus on that.

[MaxNormal]

Oh you poor thing, how very difficult. Can you say roughtly where you are? I am sure some MNetters can suggest some things in the area for when it's low tide.
It must be doubly tough if you're the only adult.

[LaurieFairyCake]

How would you get the money back if you leave?

[TokyoSushi]

Oh bless you, it's going to be OK. Sometimes I get a bit like that when I arrive somewhere and it's not quite as expected.

Go for a walk, have a look around, maybe get something nice for lunch. I'd give it a couple of days. Can you say where you are and hopefully somebody will be able to suggest some things you could do?

[latticechaos]

I think you need to really take care of yourself. Maybe give it a day or two?

Sending

Can you get an ice-cream for your child and wait for the seato roll in?

[Wishforanishwishdiash]

I am almost always disappointed at the beginning of a holiday. I spend so much time building it up in my head, and the reality is often, reality.

This is now a joke in our family and before they arrive they remind me not to panic. After a day or two I almost always love the holiday.

The depression is serious, and I wish you lots of love and care. Give the holiday a chance, kids will love it.

[CottonEyeJo]

If you're baby is too young to understand the tide, then they won't give a shiny shit if the place is crap or not

Don't go home, you'll regret that even more and your child will ask questions making it worse

If you can, try not to cry in front of them because they won't understand, probably will worry plus ask questions that then doesn't help you.

Do you have anyone IRL you can call or message for a chat?

[Branleuse]

Where are you. Maybe we could come up with suggestions. How old is your child

[totallyyesno]

OP I often feel like this the first day. I hate arriving in new places, wish I was home, wish I hadn't spent the money. Are you the same? If so, stick it out! It will get better.

[SissySpacekAteMyHamster]

Get googling places to visit and set a plan. Just being somewhere different will be fun for the kids.

Get checked in, kettle on, and relax.

Is there anyone you can speak to in RL?

[rainbowstardrops]

Only you know whether you feel well enough to stay but you might regret it if you go home without giving it a try.
How old is your child and do you have any support?

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

Sorry you're not feeling great, but if the child is disappointed the sea is out, will be even more upset at being taken home after just a day.
Check the tide tables - sea comes in and out twice a day.
On the plus side, it's probably cooler by the sea - I just took a look at the thermometer, its only 30 degrees, was 35 yesterday. Would love to be at the beach.

[Fairenuff]

Most seaside places are tacky and rundown. Your child won't care. They will get lots of fun from building sandcastles and if the tide is out you can look for rockpools.