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To let someone else clean it up?

(112 Posts)
itsrainingandpouringgg Thu 13-Aug-20 08:35:57

My gran is 99 and lives in a council flat in a high rise building on the 11th floor.
I've been her full time unofficial carer for over 15 years.
She has advanced dementia and moved Into a care home 7 weeks ago.
She broke her hip,now she is in the final stages.
My aunt lives abroad and hasn't visited in 6 years.
None of my other cousins visited.
I've been left to sort everything out.
Had to find home,make hard decisions,wore myself to the ground.
No friends no family of my own.
Now the council have told me I have to remove the large items myself from the flat
The items are really old and shabby and no charity organisations would want them.
I can't carry a bed,a cooker a wall unit etc etc on my own.
The council said it's my responsibility
It's not my flat it was my grans.
The council will remove them for a charge but I would need to carry them downstairs.
I don't have the strength.
Aibu to just leave them?

OP’s posts: |
HugeAckmansWife Thu 13-Aug-20 08:38:53

You can hire companies to clear and tip stuff. If you can, do that then contact your aunt etc to ask for a share of the cost.. Or contact them first and tell them they can either come and help or share the cost.

itsrainingandpouringgg Thu 13-Aug-20 08:41:46

Tbh I'm sick of having all the worry's on my shoulders and organising everything.
While other family members can have a care free life.

OP’s posts: |
AlwaysCheddar Thu 13-Aug-20 08:43:48

Has she got any money to pay for this?

Skyliner001 Thu 13-Aug-20 08:43:58

Unless it's legally your responsibility and they can chase you I would leave it. You've done enough. Sorry you've had such a hard time thanks

Fishfingersandwichplease Thu 13-Aug-20 08:46:00

Oh wow OP, sounds like you have been through it but what a wonderful Granddaughter you are. I would clear everything you can and leave what you can't x

itsrainingandpouringgg Thu 13-Aug-20 08:46:18

I have 3rd party authority to speak on her behalf with the council but I don't have power of attorney.
I wasn't able to give up the property that had to be the social worker.
I hope I don't sound selfish because I'm not I've just had enough.
Il clear everything out of drawers etc and leave everything empty.
I just can't move the big items

OP’s posts: |
Grumpymum789 Thu 13-Aug-20 08:47:22

If your gran has no money to pay for a removal I wouldn’t blame you for just leaving them. I also hear you about the difficulties when it’s just you taking a caring role, and others are carefree abroad flowers

1Morewineplease Thu 13-Aug-20 08:48:27

I’m sorry to hear about your gran, particularly as you are shouldering the burden on your own.

There are house clearance firms who would be able to help you, you don’t need to do this by yourself and I echo @HugeAckmansWife and contact your aunt about sharing the cost.

Best wishes OP.

CanaryFish Thu 13-Aug-20 08:49:35

Can the council bill your grans estate for removal. If you can’t carry them you can’t carry them. If your gran had no next of kin they’d just have to get on with it surely , or bill your aunt

Saz12 Thu 13-Aug-20 08:50:57

It’s maybe your grans responsibility! But how can it be yours, it’s not your belongings.
Tell the council that the owner has gone into a care home and explain the family can’t move the stuff.
If your gran has the means to pay, then sadly you’re going to end up do having to arrange that.
Or contact your aunt and TELL her she needs to pay for items to be removed (as next of kin it probably is your aunt who should remove it).

The load does get easier once they’re settled in a Home, and it sounds like youre doing an amazing job.

Grapewrath Thu 13-Aug-20 08:52:10

You have zero responsibility for this financially or morally. It happens all the time and the council have capacity to remove items under these circumstances.

DartmoorChef Thu 13-Aug-20 08:52:14

Can you put the items on the local Facebook page as free for collection. You may think it's no good but you would be surprised what people can do with the tattiest of furniture these days with upcycling

notanothertakeaway Thu 13-Aug-20 08:52:30

In your shoes, I would leave the council to sort it. They will probably invoice your gran for it, as it'll be the tenant's legal responsibility to clear the house on departure

grafittiartist Thu 13-Aug-20 08:55:15

Could you directly ask any of the rest of the family? I know that they haven't been helpful until now, but maybe if you needed them for a specific day to do one job they might help?
Good luck with it all.

Kinkybutkind Thu 13-Aug-20 08:58:41

what would happen if you didn’t clear the flat and just took all personal effects and belongings, then handed the keys back to the council? They may charge your gran storage for 28 days and disposal costs but their maintenance crew would need to remove them from the property when cleaning/repairs before re-letting the flat. A huge number of people abandon tenancies and don’t even take personal effects, clothes, children’s toys etc...

anon5000 Thu 13-Aug-20 08:59:05

Let the council remove it, they will invoice your gran,not you.

Mummyoflittledragon Thu 13-Aug-20 09:05:00

That sounds really tough. Take personal belongings, pay for clearance if you have access to your grans money, otherwise I would tell the council you will be leaving the rest and can bill your gran.

zingally Thu 13-Aug-20 09:05:34

It's not your responsibility.

If anyone's its your grans, but she's clearly not going to be lugging a bed or cooker around!
I'd just leave them behind with a bit of a shrug tbh.

If anyone asks, "it's not my flat, not my stuff, and I don't have power of attorney." I can't personally think of anything, legally, that would make it your problem.

I'd just make sure that all personal effects are out, and then notify the council/social worker/whoever, that your gran has moved into a home.

Bettyswitch Thu 13-Aug-20 09:06:05

Op Leave it, the council will clear it!
You won’t get into trouble..... if the council get on your case send them your aunts details and tell her to deal with it!

cdtaylornats Thu 13-Aug-20 09:06:21

Send the council the name and number of the social worker saying resposibility lies with them.

julybaby32 Thu 13-Aug-20 09:07:09

I can completely understand and sympathise, and this is probably the worst point in this. After this is generally gets a bit easier.. What Saz said.
A possible solution to the immediate problem, is you want to take it is to break the items up and removing the bits. (I'm thinking screwdriver here, not an axe or anything that might result in you getting hurt.)
And you should not be out of pocket for the removal cost. Could you speak to the social worker again to see what they recommend doing. Is there a citizens advice bureau you could ring?
Where do your cousins live?

notanothertakeaway Thu 13-Aug-20 09:07:47

Even if you did have power of attorney, it wouldn't oblige you to remove the stuff. It would just authorise you to do it if you chose to do so. The responsibility is your gran's, not yours

Bellringer Thu 13-Aug-20 09:08:37

Let social services deal with it. Money will come from her savings if any. You are not executor or next of kin.

Viviennemary Thu 13-Aug-20 09:08:37

I don't think they can make you pay but they could put a charge against any money your gran has. Don't pay.

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