Hi all,
Starting a new thread on the advice of another member - after originally posting this as an update to a thread I’d started ages ago.
Link to previous thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2987030-Wearing-trainers-on-a-hiking-holiday-AIBU.
The previous thread linked to was about a trip I went on with a friend I’d known for years and some of her friends.
Since that trip, my friend from the thread got married and I went to her hen do and wedding.
A few months after the wedding, my friend suggested all her friends from the wedding and I have a catch-up, so we arranged a weekend away for a group of us.
I thought it would be nice to go as we had a few mutual friends in that group and I’d got on well with some of the new people in that group who I’d met for the first time at the wedding/hen weekend.
When we got to the catch-up weekend, it turned out when I got there that I was the only one who could make it as all her other friends had pulled out for various reasons.
I was hoping the friend and I would have a nice weekend. However, she was very stressed (high pressured work situation, upset at other friends not turning up, felt unwell - possibly intensified by how stressed/upset she was). She took this out on me by having a go at me and being really passive aggressive.
I was really upset as I’d been really supportive to her for that weekend (eg I brought snacks, really listened to her while she told me about the difficulties she was having at work, I’d suggested potential places to eat - vegan places - which she turned down, so we only went to places she wanted to go to) so I felt really upset.
After that weekend, I didn’t feel like I wanted to carry on the friendship so I just didn’t contact her as I didn’t know how else to end things.
I told my friends about it, as I was really upset and wanted to share how I felt with someone.
They thought ending the friendship was the best thing to do, but understood it was difficult (they know about this walking holiday and about what happened at the wedding/hen do. It’s a long story and very identifying, but involved some of the wedding party and me having to take care of a friend of the bride on the wedding night after she’d drunk too much whilst taking medication and ended up being sectioned at hospital.
Since then, myfriend from this thread got in touch a few weeks ago to ask how things were going generally.
More recently, she got in touch this morning to ask how things were and to say how sorry she was about what happened on our catch-up weekend and that she would like to carry on the friendship.
My instinct now is not to reply, as my reasons for not wanting to carry on the friendship are due to feeling upset at her actions and behaviour over many years, but I really don’t want to hurt her feelings or get into an argument by saying this.
Is the best thing if I just don’t reply?
Just want to share how I feel with people as I would prefer not to carry on the friendship (as it’s made me feel pretty shit at times due to not feeling supported by my friend and due to how she’s behaved over the years), but I also don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings.
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AIBU?
Friend getting into contact after uncomfortable last catch-up - AIBU not to reply to friend’s text?
150 replies
RangeTesKopeks · 09/08/2020 17:20
OP posts:
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