My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

to think that a married couple shouldn’t spend every night apart

5 replies

bakedoff · 09/08/2020 00:50

AIBU? I spend every night alone. I’ve been married for a decade. I’m not yet 50 and my husband “likes his own space”. I’m lonely. I feel rejected. Tonight I tried to get him to stay in bed with me and he called me “needy”. When I said it’s not needy to want attention and affection from my husband he then called me “argumentative”. It’s a shit nothing life. Is it unreasonable to want to spend night time with my husband!!!

OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

53 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
6%
You are NOT being unreasonable
94%
MissCadoganTate · 09/08/2020 00:55

Why are you with him ie what are you actually getting from the marriage? He sounds v cold.

Report
Rumtopf · 09/08/2020 01:00

"To stay in bed with me" does that mean that he'd been in bed with you I.e. sex and then left you afterward?
No, you're not unreasonable to want love, attention and your needs to be met. What do you gain from the relationship?

Report
IdblowJonSnow · 09/08/2020 01:07

Yanbu OP. Have you got any friends to meet up with?

I quite like to do my own thing on an evening but if you feel lonely you should agree a compromise. You certainly dont sound needy from what you've said.

Report
corythatwas · 09/08/2020 01:07

A married couple shouldn't do things that leaves one partner unhappy. Some couples are genuinely happier sleeping in separate bedrooms, and that is fine, as long as both are happy. Not paying attention to your unhappiness is not fine.

Report
Anordinarymum · 09/08/2020 01:17

@bakedoff

AIBU? I spend every night alone. I’ve been married for a decade. I’m not yet 50 and my husband “likes his own space”. I’m lonely. I feel rejected. Tonight I tried to get him to stay in bed with me and he called me “needy”. When I said it’s not needy to want attention and affection from my husband he then called me “argumentative”. It’s a shit nothing life. Is it unreasonable to want to spend night time with my husband!!!

Ok.. a few facts might help. How old is he, and how long has this been going on. Do you still have sex and if so how do go about it - I mean does he visit your bed?
What is he like the rest of the time ?
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.