'Friends' ghosted me because I was worried one of them had died

FeelLiedTo · 2020-08-08 15:33:10

I'm writing this to see how others would have behaved in my 'friend' A's position. This happened quite a few years ago but it still bothers me time to time. A and I had been friends since 7 'friend R1' and friend R2 whom I can never dislike no matter what, had been friends with me and A since 11 / 13 respectively. This incident happened when we were in our early 30's. We are all now 40. A was pregnant, she told us, everyone was thrilled for her, she had an arranged marriage, so it was great to know things were working out for her. 3 weeks after she told me of the pregnancy, I was Facebooking (side note -don't use crap Facebook now) and a guy N we went to school with us said A had died. I said that wasn't possible as I had seen her 3 weeks ago, N pointed out that was a stupid reason to believe she wasn't dead. I asked him how he knew, seeing as they don't keep in touch and I couldn't see how he could've known this. He said the sister of our friend S told him. I believed this to be a credible source because A, S and I are Sikh and there is a caste system, A and S are the same caste, lived near each other for a while and went to the same place of worship, plus they've known each other since 11, I didn't doubt the source, S's sister would've known who A was. I was so panicked I rang A, she didn't answer, I rang her 3 times, no answer. At this point I thought OMG it's true. She rings back and asks why I've rang her so many times, I tried to make excuses, but she said something along the lines of 'you're scaring me, tell me why you rang' she pushed and pushed for an answer. I told her that N had said that you had passed away, but clearly not the case. She made out she was ok with me and understood my concern. Except she never spoke to me again and R1 & R2 stopped speaking to me as well. R2 not so much. I later found out from R2, A felt that I was trying to sabotage her pregnancy!! I just can't believe that me showing concern for her as a friend that I very much cared for and still do was seen as some sort of weird black magic crap. Many years later I met A at a wedding, she did say she never knew how to get back in touch because so much time had passed. A few years later she was telling another friend M that I tried to ruin her pregnancy!! I just don't understand how someone can take concern for their well being and turn people against you. I did find out from her at the wedding that she had a terrible pregnancy, so I'm thinking her anxiety got the better of her and she scapegoated me, looking for someone to blame? But I still can't understand why the other friends thought I was such a bad person?! If I ever hear she's dead again, I certainly wouldn't be offering my condolences to the family! Rant over. YABU - she was right to cut you off YANBU - nasty friends used this excuse to cut me out

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AIBU?

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Thanks for all the reports about this thread.

Seeing as the OP's calling other posters names (weirdos, wet wipes and fools) we think it's best if we take this one down. If we'd have gone in and removed all the personal attacks the OP was mak...