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New lodger washed or changed clothes for 10 days

(63 Posts)
Zone3 Thu 06-Aug-20 16:43:44

My new lodger hasn't changed his clothes or washed since he moved in ten days ago. I'm getting very concerned especially because of covid and hygiene.

He is a pleasant person but this is very concerning. I've told him I want to be extra careful with cleanliness because of covid and also shown him how to use the washing machine but he hasn't taken the hint.

How can I approach this sensitively as I have given him a three month contract and we have to live together- I don't want to throw him out as serving notice with him would be very awkward. I'd rather try and resolve things sensitively with a positive outcome. Any suggestions welcome.

OP’s posts: |
DobbyTheHouseElk Thu 06-Aug-20 16:46:44

He might have washed his body without you seeing. But not washing or changing clothes for 10 days is grim. Covid or not. He will be starting to smell and your home will smell too.

I have no idea how you handle this. Good,luck.

Zone3 Thu 06-Aug-20 16:46:50

Sorry the title should say "new lodger hasn't washed or changed clothes in 10 days"

OP’s posts: |
Zone3 Thu 06-Aug-20 16:47:58

He is starting to smell. I haven't been out of the house and I really don't think he has washed- he hasn't got any shower gel or soap in the bathroom. I know he could be keeping some in his room but I haven't heard the shower go on.

OP’s posts: |
Therealjudgejudy Thu 06-Aug-20 16:48:51

Cant think if anything worse than sharing my home with someone unhygenic..

MitziK Thu 06-Aug-20 16:57:59

Would any of this help?

Moomum123 Thu 06-Aug-20 16:59:49

You sound lovely, not wanting to offend him. But why doesn’t he feel the same about you? Personal hygiene is so important, especially now, and someone smelling in your home is really unpleasant and offensive.
Could you invite him to sit and have a coffee with you, and use it as an opportunity to chat about if he’s settled and has any questions about his new home. Then you have to be really calm and pleasant and just state that you’re concerned he hasn’t used the shower or the washing machine, and one of your big requirements is hygiene in your home. It’s a mutual arrangement, It has to work for you both. Good luck.

Deadposhtory Thu 06-Aug-20 17:05:11

Sounds nasty. I don't believe he has showed either, as why put dirty clothes on a clean body?

peanutsandpinenuts Thu 06-Aug-20 17:23:55

You have to bite the bullet on this one and tell him that your concerned he has not washed or changed clothes in 10 days. Be sensitive but clear, no room for confusion on this one. He needs to keep himself clean, house rule.

Fatherbrownsbicycle Thu 06-Aug-20 17:28:35

How old is he? Where did he come from?
Is it possible he doesn’t have any money to buy shampoo/shower gel? Maybe he doesn’t have a towel even. His bed will be starting to smell envy < not envy.

katy1213 Thu 06-Aug-20 17:29:57

Give him notice; you're not his mother to be teaching him how to wash. If he asks why, tell him. He should be embarrassed, not you. I wouldn't bother trying to improve him; that's not a project you need.

Peachi82 Thu 06-Aug-20 17:42:27

I had a flat mate who didn't change his towel nor his bed covers in 2 years (he moved out then). It was grim.
I once saw his girlfriend cleaning his bed with some baby wet wipes.

I have no idea why he didn't wash his stuff. We had our own washing machine for the flat.

LetsBeSensible Thu 06-Aug-20 17:42:55

I hope this isn’t my relative. He lodges. It’s part of his poor me/I’m too good for your rules/free spirit personality -disorder- just to throw a different view into the mix

2bazookas Thu 06-Aug-20 17:47:18

Lack of personal care and hygeine can be a sign of mental health problems.

Lodgers sharing your accommodation have no security of tenure and no right to stay if you give them notice to quit.

The covid/hygeine risk to yourself is a valid one. But far more important, is the fact that right from the start , when most new guest would be on best behaviour, and attentive to polite suggestions from landlord, he's ignoring your wishes. So I suspect the longer he stays the more awkward and un co-operative his behaviour will become.

I would just tell him that unfortunately, having a lodger in your home is not working out for you and you would like him to leave on <date>
(ten to 14 days away, not three months.)

BonfireStarter Thu 06-Aug-20 17:51:09

Could you make a joke of it to save his embarrassment? 'I know you've probably got loads of black t shirts, but if you keep wearing the same colours everyday people will think you don't wash'.

Slippy78 Thu 06-Aug-20 17:51:34

I'd be giving him notice to leave. How much notice does your lodger agreement state is needed?

CoRhona Thu 06-Aug-20 17:53:36

Show him how to turn the shower on and leave it on, saying "I'll leave you to it, here's a towel". Is he very young?

ThickFast Thu 06-Aug-20 17:57:12

I couldn’t deal with that. It’s not nice. Does he wash his hands?

LeopardPrintTits Thu 06-Aug-20 18:01:42

If he doesn’t have any shower gel or soap, does he even have another set of clothes to change into?

BertieBassettsBits Thu 06-Aug-20 18:01:55

Be blunt, ask him if he has had a shower /changed his clothes as he is starting to whiff.
You are not his manager and have to pussy foot around him. He is living in your home

BlueJava Thu 06-Aug-20 18:09:22

Just sit him down on his own and tell him that you expect a certain standard of hygiene and he doesn't meet that. He is starting to smell and you don't want that in your home. Either he agrees to reform his habits and shower daily and wear clothes only a couple of days before washing them or you will have to terminate his agreement. It's up to him. I'd be blunt about it because frankly if he doesn't get that he stinks after 10 days he's not going to take a hint!

Zone3 Thu 06-Aug-20 19:25:34

He's in his forties.

OP’s posts: |
ravensoaponarope Thu 06-Aug-20 19:28:45

What Moomum123 said.

FuzzyPenguin Thu 06-Aug-20 19:31:42

Eugh sounds like a housemate we had who rented a room. Managed to get rid of him after 4 months he never washed himself or his clothes the entire time. He wasn’t young either he had kids the same age as us.
When he left it took forever to air the room out and the mattress was a right off.
I wondered if he had other things going on and he never had any food in the house, I took pity on him and made him some meals.

YesINameChangeEveryDay Thu 06-Aug-20 19:32:32

I couldn't live with him, I'm afraid I'd be asking him to leave.

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