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To get my almost 15 year old condoms

(188 Posts)
EveOnline2016 Thu 06-Aug-20 16:43:41

He is sexually active as he has told me.

Dad says I’m encouraging but I rather he be safe even if I am encouraging it by getting them for him.

OP’s posts: |
Owleyes16 Thu 06-Aug-20 16:49:27

YANBU. Teenagers will do what they want. It's great that you're being supportive and looking out for him. He needs to be open with you and you need to teach him how to be safe. Your DH's route will just push your son to hide things from you and potentially be unsafe. Education is the way.

iamtheoneandonlyyy Thu 06-Aug-20 16:51:20

Do it, I would.

WhereYouLeftIt Thu 06-Aug-20 16:53:44

Did you ask him about what steps he's taking himself to avoid fatherhood? Has he even considered that side?

StareyCat Thu 06-Aug-20 16:55:26

I misunderstood this at first and thought your condoms were almost 15 years old.

idril Thu 06-Aug-20 16:56:22

He's already sexually active so what would you be encouraging!? I guess he might have sex more often but at least it would be safe sex.

PurpleDaisies Thu 06-Aug-20 16:56:38

Is he using them already?

PolPotNoodle Thu 06-Aug-20 16:58:38

I'd encourage him to get them himself via a sexual health clinic so that he can get a bit of education/an STD test/some independence and confidentiality, and so that you don't have to keep shelling out on condoms.

Aquamarine1029 Thu 06-Aug-20 16:58:39

If he's already sexually active, there's no stopping that train. I would buy him condoms and have many, many talks about safe sex, pregnancy, and consent.

blacktop Thu 06-Aug-20 16:59:34

Well yes, if he is having sex then he needs to be having safe sex. What has he been doing up until now? Also how old is his girl/boy friend?

Mintjulia Thu 06-Aug-20 17:00:32

Bowl of mixed condoms on top of he bathroom cabinet. Keep topping them up.

He’s going to have sex anyway, so do everything you can to protect him - and his partner.

FlashesOfRage Thu 06-Aug-20 17:00:48

You’re doing the right thing. The lad is going to keep doing what he wants and no amount of yelling stern would could possibly prevent him.

Your way of being supportive keeps communication open.
Your son knows who to go to if he’s worried about something and this way you can talk to him about how he must always protect himself from STDs and the risk of getting her pregnant 👍

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Thu 06-Aug-20 17:01:24

Is he not using them already?

I’d be very unhappy at 14 he was doing even sure how he is given SD etc is in place.

AuntyPasta Thu 06-Aug-20 17:02:28

It’s only sensible to give him condoms. If he’s straight then you need to remind him that hormonal contraception can fail so if he doesn’t want to be changing nappies he needs to take responsibility for protecting himself. Every. Single. Time. You also need to have the talk about enthusiastic consent - you need a Yes! not an absence of no. The whole tea metaphor is a good one.

JulesCobb Thu 06-Aug-20 17:02:40

It’s no good getting condoms for him if he wont use them. Is he already using them? Have you had a conversation about it?

IdblowJonSnow Thu 06-Aug-20 17:06:16

Yanbu. If he's already doing it you'd be more irresponsible not to!
Is the girl in question under age? I'd be having a lot of conversations around consent and what might go wrong.
No judgement from me btw. I am dreading this phase, a little way off hopefully.

Moomum123 Thu 06-Aug-20 17:09:44

The age of his partner would have impact on the advice he needs to hear, regarding consent and possible prosecution, but yes I would supply condoms to avoid unwanted pregnancies or stds.

Lelophants Thu 06-Aug-20 17:11:09

I'd be concerned about who he was sexually active with.
Yes give them to him and really knuckle down on consent.

Lelophants Thu 06-Aug-20 17:12:25

Although 14, god that's young!!

Yeah the consent thing is bothering me. How old are these girls? (I'm assuming girls).

AuntyPasta Thu 06-Aug-20 17:14:10

And if you’re going to have awkward conversations anyway, a reminder about sexting would be appropriate.

www.theguardian.com/society/2019/dec/30/thousands-of-children-under-14-have-been-investigated-by-police-for-sexting

Even sending pictures of himself could be a crime. A reminder about respect and relationships and how sharing personal details or pictures of himself or someone else is possibly criminal but (when it concerns someone else) definitely shitty behaviour and that once something is out there it’s impossible to take it back.

JulesCobb Thu 06-Aug-20 17:15:51

Exactly, lots of advice on here. Handing out condoms is not the only action you should be taking when your 14 yr old who is having sex. I think you know that too, or you would have said 14 and not nearly 15.

Elouera Thu 06-Aug-20 17:17:05

I've read about teen sized condoms being available in some Scandanavian countries. Not sure if they are available here, or if they'd be applicable to your son.

Family planning clinics provide free condoms, contraceptive advice and sexual health advice for both men and women. They also have specific teen clinics. Might be worth looking into whats available locally.

UnaCorda Thu 06-Aug-20 17:17:26

The lad is going to keep doing what he wants and no amount of yelling stern would could possibly prevent him.

confused

I’d be very unhappy at 14 he was doing even sure how he is given SD etc is in place.

confusedconfusedconfused

I know autocorrect mangles things, but FFS!

frustrationcentral Thu 06-Aug-20 17:18:12

I would

Arthersleep Thu 06-Aug-20 17:18:16

I would find out who he is/has been sexually active with and contact their parents to ensure they understand what is going on. You may feel as though you are unable to stop your teenager, but they may feel as though they are able to and will stop their child. They are just children. First focus should be on stopping it along with education. Plan B should be ensuring that if you cannot trust your child or have no control over what they do, they remain safe.

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