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To feel sad looking at ex's WhatsApp status and his GF. I can't help it!!

(105 Posts)
whatsappcurse Thu 06-Aug-20 09:04:39

I’ve written about my ex on here, I left him he didn’t leave me. I just couldn’t deal with his laziness, and there was just a lot that was going on in our marriage. There was no abuse or cheating, just fucking laziness from his part. It wasn’t a bad ‘bad’ marriage as such.

He’s moved on, and he’s the sort of person who likes to take pictures of what he eats or been. He does it whether he’s with his mum, friends or girlfriend. So I know he’s not doing it to ‘show her off’.

But it just hurts like hell to see him post pictures on his WhatsApp status of them being out and about, to nice fancy restaurants. They’ve been eating out since Monday because of the 50% off discount thing, yesterday he took her to this really nice high end steak house in London he’s always talked about going when we were together, but just never went. I could see it was that restaurant because of the menu card on the table. It was so hard seeing her there with her nicely done nails eating steak with him. I’m also jealous that we just never went out like that, but he’s always going out with her.

I can’t block him because we have children together, I’ve tried to mute his WhatsApp status so I don’t see his pictures. But I can still see it, it’s just not at the top with all the other WhatsApp statuses. I find myself constantly looking at his status, I can’t help it. I wish I could just block him. We have an OK relationship apart from this.

I’m just sad that her and her daughter are living the life my children and I should be living. I know I left him, but had it not been for his laziness we would still have been together 😔

OP’s posts: |
stayingontherail Thu 06-Aug-20 09:07:04

You can block him. Tell him you’re coming off WhatsApp so he needs to text you instead and block. Follow with a text saying the same. WhatsApp isn’t the only way to message people.

Budbudbud Thu 06-Aug-20 09:09:41

I get why it's hard and horrible but you have to remind yourself why you left him, because he was a useless lazy twat and all the fancy steak dinners in the world dont make up for that flowers

Happymum12345 Thu 06-Aug-20 09:34:58

I can imagine how hard it must be. flowers

Yeahnahmum Thu 06-Aug-20 09:38:00

Block and tell him to text.

Fairyliz Thu 06-Aug-20 09:38:13

Well perhaps the new gf booked the restaurant.
Nothing to stop you booking a nice restaurant and going with children, or even better leave the children with ex and go with a friend. Will cheer you up and then you can post a picture.

GinDrinker00 Thu 06-Aug-20 09:39:58

Why can’t you go out with your children to a restaurant? confused No need to be jealous just make your own plans.

Jellybeansincognito Thu 06-Aug-20 09:40:49

I know it’s hard, but they never change op.

He’ll sink back into who he was when you left, and end up being left again.
He’s only making an effort because it’s new and exciting.

You’ll still meet someone who you deserve, perhaps when you do, you’ll see his single and feel glad you left.

Emeraldshamrock Thu 06-Aug-20 09:44:48

It is understandable you're hurt but start thinking straight, you dumped him you had a reason too you didn't match.
He is the honeymoon phase ATM he will be back to old habit and routine before you know it.
Please ignore you are not interested in him don't ruin it, he could still love you and you don't want him let him go.

LizzieBlackwell Thu 06-Aug-20 09:45:47

Oh god leave her to pick his shit up. If you got him back with in ten mins you’d be picking his pots up and washing them again.

Move on. Life will improve.

Fanthorpe Thu 06-Aug-20 09:46:17

You’re torturing yourself and filling in all the gaps to make it worse, he’s unlikely to have dramatically changed. It takes a long time to get over a relationship but even longer if you carry on a one sided version of it.

Don’t look at him. When he has the kids get out with your friends. Good luck!

EmbarrassedUser Thu 06-Aug-20 09:48:36

Was he ever like this when you were first together? If so then if they stay together long term then she’s got all this to come. Remember also that they haven’t got the day to day domestic stuff of kids so of course it’s far easier for them to go off to restaurants. He’s given up seeing his kids daily for a steak dinner. Go him confused

Meruem Thu 06-Aug-20 09:51:19

I agree with pp’s. You can block him and just text or call if needed re the kids. You’re just torturing yourself otherwise and why do that?

Boom45 Thu 06-Aug-20 09:52:20

Missing the point entirely but you can have WhatsApp statuses? I just use it to message people.
And you left him for a good reason, he's most likely still a lazy sod and his new partner is just picking up after him now instead of you.

Honeybobbin Thu 06-Aug-20 09:53:54

No-one updates WhatsApp like that! He's deliberately winding you up!

Tooshytoshine Thu 06-Aug-20 09:55:52

Social media isn't real life.

They are in the honeymoon period of their relationship. It's not the marriage.

It must hurt to see though and I would definitely delete him from my socials. Minimal exposure, minimal hurt...

NooneElseIsSingingMySong Thu 06-Aug-20 09:57:22

The other way round this is to get an old handset with a PAYG sim (can be done pretty cheaply) and tell him you have a new number. Block him on your normal phone and only look at the spare when you need/are expecting contact with him.

You’re seeing something that’s not really there. You have no idea what it’s like behind closed doors. Great quote by Byron Katie: ^ Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell about it^. What you’re seeing is their luxurious life, what you’re not seeing is her picking up his pants, doing the dishes etc. Even if he’s the perfect partner now he won’t be for long...you have to take a step back from him.

Ariela Thu 06-Aug-20 10:03:44

He is an ex for a reason. Lucky her to have your cast off.

LittleRa Thu 06-Aug-20 10:13:22

I blocked my exh on Facebook because although I was really happy we’d split up (amicably), had moved on and didn’t want him back, I found myself being drawn to constantly checking his updates... “oh he’s been there has he? He’s taken new partner to that hotel we went to. Oh look what they’re having for tea... who’s commented on the photo? Oh look, mutual friend has commented, I wonder if this means they’re more his friend than mine” etc. It wasn’t healthy so it was better to block. I don’t think he’d have noticed but his new partner did (proving she was looking at my profile), despite me not being friends with her, she noticed my profile had disappeared and he asked me if I’d blocked them. I just said I’d decided to come off Facebook for a bit.

rc22 Thu 06-Aug-20 10:14:48

Block him and tell him he'll have to phone, text or email you about arrangements for the kids.

TwentyViginti Thu 06-Aug-20 10:16:20

Honeybobbin

No-one updates WhatsApp like that! He's deliberately winding you up!

I was puzzled by WhatsApp status, didn't know it was a thing! I have tech savvy DC, they've never used this feature though.

Yeah OP he's a wind up merchant. Use another form of communication and block him on WA.

Feralkidsatthecampsite Thu 06-Aug-20 10:18:47

Imo those having a genuinely great time don't have the time or inclination to get their phone out and start taking selfies!!

popcornlover Thu 06-Aug-20 10:28:11

Is this WhatsApp stories? People can see when you’ve viewed their story. He’s probably getting off on the fact you look at every story/photo! That in itself would be enough to stop me looking!!! Or do you mean he updates his profile photo all the time? Just block him. Use text or calls instead.

FruitLikeAPeach Thu 06-Aug-20 10:34:15

WhatsApp does stories? I thought you just had a profile picture on WhatsApp!

Anyway, agree with others. Just tell him you're coming off WhatsApp, block him and then just text about the kids.

oakleaffy Thu 06-Aug-20 10:34:56

It is possible to turn off the blue ticks that mean ''seen''...they just stay grey.
Nit sure how it's done...I thought someone I knew wasn't being my messages, but she replies..she said she turned off the ''seen'' part of the messages.

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