AAAArgh! I've tried so hard to loose weight, so i'm not compared to sis, now shes like a rake!!!

[1crazymumof2]

Bit of background information. Sister and i are a year apart, we've always been compared by family friends etc. As younger teenagers we were always chubby and at age 18 we were both about size 16-18. I was fitted with a contraceptive implant and balloned to a size 24 in two years, my sister lost weight and was a size 12-14. Everybody complemented her on how fantastic she looked and i got some pretty nasty comments, especially form my catty aunts, of which there are 7!
We are constantly compared as we've both taken different routes in our lives, her academic-travel, me marriage-children.
She has been away travelling for a year and left me a bag of her clothes to look after for her. This last year i've been really making an effort to loose weight and imagine my delight when i tried on her clothes and they fit . go to airport to meet her

Shes a size 8!


So great next to her i still look like a heffer! just feel so demotivated, everyone is cooing about how "amazing" she looks, am i being unreasonable?

[fedupwasherwoman]

Just spread a rumour that she has tapeworms or some such unpleasant souvenir from her travelling.

Take heart, she may well fatten up now that she has returned to the UK, famed for its cold/damp winters requiring hot comforting food to see us through until spring.

[HonoriaGlossop]

YABU.

Totally.

You have done SO WELL to go from a 24 to a 12/14.

WELL DONE! You should be so celebrating what you've done.

And FWIW, I firmly believe that for a woman a 12/14 is better. You'll look curvy, womanly etc; size 8 (apologies to those of you out there) is not what I particularly think looks nicest.

I bet that many blokes, if they were looking at you next to eachother, would go for the curvier model.

And, sorry to sound like your mum, but it's time you each celebrated each other for your individuality and uniqueness, and stopped comparing.

[harleyweendemon]

yabu
are you jealous of your sister, are you competitive?
you should be proud of yourself for doing so well to get to where you are at now!

[heifer]

bet you are the nicer person though.

Sounds as though you are just feed up with being compared to sister all the time..

Maybe she is sick of being compared to you, ie marriage/children etc..

Just be happy and proud that you set yourself a target and acheived it..

[1crazymumof2]

OOOh, i'am being unreasonable arent I!

I just needed to have a bit of a rant, when i said it to my DH, he went ballistic, i.e she looks anorexic etc. No offence to anyone who is a size 8, whatever is healthy for your height and frame, but she's five eight and you can count her ribs see hip bones and spine when shes standing up. Just a bit pissed off at never feeling good enough for my family.

[mytwopenceworth]

Yes you are. It's not a competition. Be pleased with your success - which is NOT diminished by someone else's weight loss!!

But if you must, then think of it this way - she was a 12/14 and is now an 8 - that's 2 or 3 dress sizes. You were a 24 and are now a 12/14 - that's 5 or 6 dress sizes. So you've done better.

Except it's NOT A COMPETITION, y'daft old thing!

[mylittlefreya]

You have done brilliantly!!! You are a healthy size and you should be proud of it. I bet those catty aunts, and maybe even your sister, have a very unhealthy relationship with food. Which you have shown that you do not.

YANBU - you can't help feeling like that - but you need to appreciate yourself more!

[1crazymumof2]

Heifer, dont think she gets compared to me, my family kind of think i've copped out or taken the easy option by having kids How wrong they are.

An example, bump into a family friend with sis who we havent seen for about five years
he to sis, 'oh, you look great, so tell me about your travels' sis 'blah, blah, blah', me'oh, that sounds amazing, friend'well you were the one who had children instead of doing this'!!!!, me' my children are the best thing that have ever happened to me, they were not a compromise.'

[Fireflyfairy2]

Oh wow! Well done you!!

Did your sister comment on how well you have done when she has been away?

Did you comment on her weight loss?

[Bouncingturtle]

I sort of know what you mean, my two brothers eat nowt but junk food and yet thery are both skinny, yet I have a much healthier diet, with lots of fruit and veg (they only eat sweetcorn I kid you not) and I'm fighting a constant battle with my weight!
But well done you for losing all that weight that is a fantastic achievement and ignore your catty aunties, don't let them get to you.

[LucyJones]

I can imagine how you feel! But now she's back home and not travelling she'll probably put a bit back on anyway. You have done fab to get to a 12-14

[mistypeaks]

No1 - Congrats on losing so much weight in the first place and becoming a 'healthy' size.
No 2 - Stop trying to please your family - From experience it never works!! Try pleasing yourself (that just sounds rude however I type it!). Your DH and kids love you for who you are anyway.
No3 - No offence taken!!!
And from experience being a size smaller than you should be is no fun at all. You're always cold (and always have a cold) and things just don't quite feel right. I knew I needed to put some weight on when I walked into a table and really really hurt my hip bone. God bless womanly curves.

[fedupwasherwoman]

Has she been travelling in remote parts where she may have suffered vomitting and diarrheoa (sp?).

I'm sure she'll fatten up now she's back but it's caring of you to worry about how thin she is.

God, I'd kill to be a size 12/14 again, currently 18 (was a size 20) and still losing weight very slowly so I applaud your tremendous efforts at going from 24 to 14, that's fantastic.

My sister is a lovely slim 10/12 but has no kids and also just works/travels a lot. I loathe myself for having no willpower and having let myslef go up to a size 20 but love myself for not being jealous of her and still loving meeting up and spending time with her however big the difference in our size is. I just preface any meet-up with "I'm still as big as a whale" as until recently I had gained weight each time we met up.

[1crazymumof2]

Thankyou so much, yes she did say how good i look, and i can keep her clothes

Although i don't think the morgan or Jane Norman basque tops will go down a storm at the local mums and tots in the christian church!!!!!

[Fireflyfairy2]

Save them for private time with you dh