To ask how you would reply to this couple?

[Rainbowb]

If this is true, a couple have sent out wedding invites asking all potential guests to submit two 250-word 'essays' to two questions. The gist is that they’ll use these essays to choose who can come or not, based on people’s enthusiasm. People who don’t write essays at all will be automatically disqualified. So how would you reply if you could do it in much less than 250 words?

[Rainbowb]

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.standard.co.uk/insider/living/bride-guests-apply-wedding-essay-a4511801.html%3famp

[RyanBergarasTeeth]

L. O. L

[AdoptAdaptImprove]

I could do it in two.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Appallingly rude. We won't be coming

I could text that to save postage, too.😁

[Gailplatt95]

Ermmm fuck off, cheeky bastards😂

[Shizzlestix]

Wow, just no way! I seriously would write them 2 words. Fuck right off (ok, 3!)

[Rainbowb]

It’s questions like why do you want to come and what would being at our wedding mean to you? It’s totally bizarre if it’s true! Slightly irritated at the reporting of it mind, they seem to be assuming that the bride’s partner had no involvement in this decision!

[MissNotMrs]

Lordy. What will they think of next

[Blueuggboots]

Um, no.
Thanks!
3 words. Sorted.

[MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig]

It will mean a new frock and a nice day out. The same as it will for 99% of your guests.

That was succinct.

[1984andout]

God I wouldn't even do it for my own wedding.

[CuppaZa]

They’d get two words

[dayswithaY]

I'm sure you'll have a nice time without me.

[Finkelbraun]

If this really happened, then the best response would be no reply at all. Just totally ignore it.

[Smallsteps88]

That can’t be real.

[stophuggingme]

One if those occasions where silence speaks volumes

[SlightlyJaded]

My essay would be.

You utter utter twats
Enjoy your special day.

[PercyKirke]

Why do you want to come? I don't. I'm only coming out of politeness.

Would being at our wedding mean to you? Being out of pocket on new dress etc for DW and new suit for me, also wedding present and travel/accommodation.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Time for a MN haiku

Your wedding essay
cheapens love to tawdry show
so please Fuck Off!

[Grandmi]

My essay would say ...do you want your friends to come or just people who studied English language...!!

[hellywelly3]

How pretentious do you have to be to think someone would want to come to your wedding so much they could be arsed with that!

[LittleRa]

I like how the Reddit version of AIBU is “AITA” = “am I the asshole?”

[whereistherum]

I would probably do it, I could spend a good few hours trying to find new and creative ways to say fuck off

[1WildTeaParty]

Sorry - the dog ate my answers.

[Aquamarine1029]

Fuck Off in stunning calligraphy would be my response.