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To be tired of so called food "intolerances" in children when the parent can't explain what symptoms the alleged intolerance produces?

(221 Posts)
MrsSchadenfreude Mon 01-Oct-07 11:53:15

For the record, I am NOT talking about proper food allergies - coeliac disease, nut allergy etc. DD had some friends round for a sleepover the other week, and one mother said "oh X can't have anything dairy, she is intolerant to it." Fine, I cooked everything with soya milk and veg margarine. Another child was intolerant to wheat, so cakes were all gluten free as well. Gluten intolerant boy also had an intolerance to bananas. Apparently.

Asked parents what the symptoms were of these "intolerances" when children were collected. The wheat boy "bloated a bit after having bread once". Bananas? Apparently the doctor tested for banana intolerance and he was, although had never shown any signs. Dairy child "sometimes gets a tummy ache" if she has cheese. Has she had tests? Oh no. Parents self diagnosis.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this has all gone a bit far, and is used by mothers to show just how "precious" their little one is?

themoon66 Mon 01-Oct-07 11:56:05

YANBU... its all getting a bit out of hand isn't it?

Maybe you should have asked when kids were delivered, rather than picked up.

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 01-Oct-07 12:00:20

I pandered to the parents and catered for their intolerances. I was just interested to see what the symptoms were supposed to be.

Am tired of all this!

mytwopenceworth Mon 01-Oct-07 12:01:00

Yeah, I think it's fashionable at the moment. Everyone's got a 'food intolerance'.

Except me. I've got a Twat Intolerance. My symptoms are a low growling and the uncontrollable forward spasms of my upper limbs.

Desiderata Mon 01-Oct-07 12:04:18

YANBU. I suspect the parents have their 'pet' intolerances too.

<reminisces fondly to the days when you'd slap a jam sandwich on a plate and let them get on with it>

Peachy Mon 01-Oct-07 12:05:37

Maybe they don't want to explain..... can't for the life of me why i'd want to explain that ds1 and ds3 get severe diarrhoea and crmaping after casein, or that DS1 bexcoems aggressive and develops behavioural disorders as a rsult of gluten (not unknow in ASD kids btw).... after all, what aprent is going to invte ds1 thinking that he'd slap their child if he ahd a bredstick (he wuldn't, takes longer to react than that- probably slap me though) or become suddenly incontinent 9which ds1 can mange, ds3 in nappies still)? I mean, not exactly pleasant smalltalk is it? (BTW casein intol IS diagnosed in that the Paediatrician agrees and was prepared to rpescrible appropriate formulas for them)

Desiderata Mon 01-Oct-07 12:11:18

The OP makes it clear that she is not talking about proper food allergies.

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 01-Oct-07 12:11:39

Peachy - I think that's different - yours have been formally diagnosed. I'm talking about something vague and self diagnosis by the parents.

And yes, I would like to know if a child becomes hyper or aggressive after a breadstick, so that I'm prepared for it! (My friend's ASD son does this, by the way, and she explained it to me, so we made sure he had gluten free pasta or pizza when he came over.) I wouldn't want to NOT invite children because I can't feed them, which is why I do, I suppose, pander. smile

2shoes Mon 01-Oct-07 12:18:22

MrsSchadenfreude your freids son has asd. the asd doesn't have him.
you have to be careful what the dc's tell you as well. my ds used to say he was alergic to stuff he didn't likeblush

kerala Mon 01-Oct-07 12:21:10

YANBU at all.

Also if every other child has one of these nebulous made up type intolerances those kids that have real problems (like Peachy's) may get overlooked.

SueBaroo Mon 01-Oct-07 12:21:21

Oh good grief, yes. SIL does this with hers. Insists we have goats milk on hand and really expensive non-dairy ice cream, because her Dd1 is 'lactose intolerant'. Apparently, the symptoms are that she gets energetically rude and obnoxious, and her tummy bloats sometimes.

It's not been properly diagnosed, and tbh, I think those 'symptoms' might be down to the shedload of sugar and e-numbers the woman allows the girl to shovel down.

It's just an extension of competitive parent cobblers - 'my kid has more nebulous and trendy 'syndromes' than yours'.

Peachy Mon 01-Oct-07 12:22:09

Oh I know that (they're not 'offcial' allergies desi- allergies are different) but if someone asked me i'd just asy 'oh you know they bit of an upset tummy' because I wouldn't want to go into detail, iyswim.

Actually i ahve exactly the same and never got a formal dx because boys already ahd one, didn't seem much point in bothering LOL

SueBaroo Mon 01-Oct-07 12:22:36

oo, Kerala, snap, we both used 'nebulous' at almost the same time...

InMyHumbleOpinion Mon 01-Oct-07 12:23:02

My friend was put on a 'special food intolerance diet' by an 'intolerance' specialist.

Her - "Oh, I can't eat wheat, rice, potatoes, corn, any sort of cooking oil in large quantities, and no alcohol as it's fermented. I've lost 10lb in 3 weeks! All the bloating on my front has gone down too"

Me - "Er, sounds a bit like the Atkins diet and yes, you have lost weight. So, what do you eat?"

Her - "Oh just a lot of veg stirfries and salads."

Hmm. Of course, she must have very intolerant to a diet of beer, chips and fried egg sandwiches to have lost weight by switching to saladshmm

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 01-Oct-07 12:24:10

2shoes - I was simply following what Peachy had said in her reference to "ASD kids".

Peachy Mon 01-Oct-07 12:25:38

MrsS I always get that wrong LOl blush myself.

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 01-Oct-07 12:26:31

Kerala - my point exactly - the children who really do suffer, like Peachy's will get overlooked/ignored if every child has an intolerance/syndrome. People will think FFS, not another one. Get the pizza down you!

Peachy Mon 01-Oct-07 12:28:54

I saw a kinaesthesiologist when I was pg with ds1 (many aeons aho now LOL) she gave me a massive list of food I am supposedly 'allergic' to, I think oats, white fish and pears were all I remained able to eat! I did eliminate dairy as I was intolerant to that as a baby and it seemed worth a go (and was), but the rest was bullshite- the Dieticain at the hospital looked at the list and laughed- I was so relieved I hadn't bothered with it, but do wonder how many people fell for her stuff?

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 01-Oct-07 12:31:20

Peachy, imagine the boredom!

The eating dilemma - oh I think I'llhave porridge for breakfast...again.
Boiled white fish or grilled? And shall I eat my pear raw or poached?

Every Day!

toomanydaves Mon 01-Oct-07 12:35:54

Are there such people, really?
As the mother of two kids with severe allergies and food intolerances, I wonder why anyone would want to fart around spending extra money on special health products when they didn't have to. It's boring, expensive and stressful.
Also, it can be quite difficult to diagnose allergies. Depends on the attitude of the doctor/health authority and what kind of testing they are using. So it's possible that your acquaintances are in the system, trying to find out what's wrong, and have a parental hunch. If not, then yanbu and they are sad.

MerryMarigold Mon 01-Oct-07 12:39:19


i'm 'intolerant' to wheat and dairy ie. large amounts over a period of time affect me quite severely. I am not allergic which means i can eat some and I won't die (i often do because i love macaroni cheese and spaghetti bolognaise). So I am never fussy when i go out and eat whatever is put infront of me (even brusselsprouts) and will hope not to bring my kids up to be precious about food. it's SO RUDE.

RosaLuxembourg Mon 01-Oct-07 12:40:50

My favourite one was a former colleague of mine who came into work one day and announced that the Chinese healer she was seeing had diagnosed an allergy to shellfish. 'Poor you,' I said, 'that can be very dangerous. 'Oh, it's not a PHYSICAL allergy, it's a SPIRITUAL allergy.'


pagwatch Mon 01-Oct-07 12:41:08

I don't explain eldests sons reactions because poor 14 year old does not really want me explaining to some curious adult that he is likely to crap himself if he has gluten and additive combo blush.
DS2 also has severe ASD and cannot tolerate gluten dairy, banana, raspberries, apples. additives blah blah blah....
But what irritates me is people seen to be experiencing parents just turning up wih a child with intolerances and expecting them to cope.
DS2 has several groovy lunch boxes and i never go anywhere without the makings of a decent meal including a treat. If I find my kids inability to just eat what is available a frustrating, monumental pain inthe rear why would I expect anyone else to cope !?
Eldest DS is pretty fab at politely and discreetly avoiding anything he can't eat without making a fuss.
I think there is a reverse dynamic here. Those whose kids have real intolerances are sick to the back teethe of their kids having to be different and therefore try to sort food out themselves with as little inconvenience to others as poss. Those who are trendy newcomers are noisy and expect others to work around them.

It is heaven when I turn up at friends house and she has chicken for my son follwed by soya pudding and popcorn - but I took years to sort out how to feed my son and i dodn't expect others to cope at a moments notice.

Frickin hell - this 'diet' is a nightmare and i am in year 8.. People who think it is interesting or has any element of kudos are barking.

InMyHumbleOpinion Mon 01-Oct-07 12:41:35

Oh shrieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek with derision.

I have a spiritual allery to courgettes.

Spidermama Mon 01-Oct-07 12:44:50

My ds's food intolerances impact severely on his life. We in this country are famously shit at knowing anything about food intolerances and allergies and failing to deal with them. We're the laughing stock of Europe according to news last week so YABU.

Two of my sons have varying degrees of intolerance to certain foods. It's not science and it is very complicated. One of them does terribly stinky farts after eating dairy, which I'd rather not explain to some intolerant, grouchy mother and he also gets a build up of snot running in ropes out of his nose.

OK dairy doesn't kill him, but intolerances are very seriuos and threads like this, in common with last week's ill informed India Knight article of a similar nature, are unhelpful.

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