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not to expect you to call my 3 month old a squaling bundle of venom

(21 Posts)
marathonmum Sat 29-Sep-07 21:43:25

You are a horrible unpleasant little man. I know you dont like children, you've always made that perfedtly clear. I dont expect you to like mine or even remember their names.
But when you greet me cant you find a more reasonable way to ask after my children including my 3 month old baby, than "hows the squaling bundle of venom".
Ok she may not be your cup of tea but to me shes beautiful. She wasn't even crying when you saw her so why be so rude.
You are not funny, witty or clever angry
Unfortunatley i have to put up with you as you are married to a friend of mine hmm
Get out of my face angry

bossykate Sat 29-Sep-07 21:44:54

oh dear. YANBU.

hope you are feeling better now having got that off your chest! wink

NoBiggy Sat 29-Sep-07 21:46:07

Gosh, is that what they call "dry wit"?

YANBU. What a twunt.

Piffle Sat 29-Sep-07 21:47:36

what a complete and utter fuck face

WinkyWinkola Sat 29-Sep-07 21:47:59

OOOH. What a dreadful man.

Next time (although I would completely avoid a next time), I would arm myself with gems such as, "She's the most beautiful child ever. How very dare you?" or "Are you always this unpleasant?" or "I always thought you were a tosser. My baby thinks so too."

If he's tries the "Oh lighten up, I was only joking line," just tell him that he's really not funny and needs to work on his jokes. Calling babies horrible names is just easy target practice like laughing at the aged or the disable. Those who can't defend themselves.

marathonmum Sat 29-Sep-07 21:49:26

thanks i feel better now. At least i don't have to live with him wink
As the saying goes ..........you can choose your friends but not their other halves........or something like that hmm

Lorayn Sat 29-Sep-07 21:49:27

How about 'weird thing is she only cries when you're around, are babies like dogs do you think? Maybe they sense evil'

WinkyWinkola Sat 29-Sep-07 21:51:32

Brilliant, Lorayn. grin

marathonmum Sat 29-Sep-07 21:52:46

excellent one Lorayn grin

beansprout Sat 29-Sep-07 21:53:26

I would just look blankly at him and pretend I had no idea what he was talking about until he started using the language of a human being.

You don't have to put up with that you know, just because he is your friend's other half, it doesn't actually give him the right to be abusive.

paolosgirl Sat 29-Sep-07 21:53:39

I call my friend's dd the Geordie Spawn and he tells his DD to keep away from the bad evil one (ie my DD) blush

Perhaps we need to rethink our humour?!

Heated Sat 29-Sep-07 21:56:21

How about "Like calls to like" and hand infant to him? Will either fall in love or be too scared to return!

Nightynight Sat 29-Sep-07 22:00:41

what a horrible rude man.
does he have children of his own, or has he still got the great lesson coming?

marathonmum Sat 29-Sep-07 22:04:20

The poor disillusioned man genuinely thinks he is being witty. A few people standing around us didnt know where to look though including my friend.

Should feel sorry for him i suppose sad
perhaps he's bitter from a traumatic childhood when his mum confiscated his conkers wink

tribpot Sat 29-Sep-07 22:04:49

"how's the squalling bundle of venom?"
"I don't know, how are you?"

I'm not for one moment suggesting this line should have instantly leapt to your mouth but at least it's there for future reference and quite frankly, you would be more than justified in kicking him in the bollocks.

WinkyWinkola Sat 29-Sep-07 22:06:57

Oh yes. Your poor friend. She's probably dying inside with embarrassment. I'd be crimson for four days if it were my DP.

marathonmum Sat 29-Sep-07 22:08:04

NN he does have one daughter who 10. Lovely girl who adores my littley and has informed us she wants lots of babies when she grows up wink.
Hope he has an adjustment in his attitude before he becomes a grandad hmm

Can't wait. he who laughs last....laughs longest

marathonmum Sat 29-Sep-07 22:09:50

tribpot. Thanks i'll bear both those suggestions in mind!!

mytwopenceworth Sun 30-Sep-07 14:37:54

Next time he says "How is the squaling bundle of venom" reply "I'm not sure, I haven't seen your mother in ages."

Elasticwoman Sun 30-Sep-07 21:16:56

How about "Venom is in the eye of the beholder!"

What a complete moron.

marathonmum Mon 01-Oct-07 20:36:58

Yes he's a complete arse

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