To say no to our buyer

[Flev]

We are in the process of selling our house. We accepted an offer just before lockdown (following 3 visits by the buyers and their parents) but our buyers have moved at a speed that makes a slug look like an Olympic sprinter

2 weeks ago we finally had a surveyor round for their mortgage.

Now this morning we get a call asking if the male buyer and his dad can come and visit again as they think this will be quicker than getting a survey done for themselves.

AIBU to say no?

1 they're clearly not actually bothered about speed or they might have done something about it 4 months ago! We suspect they just don't want to pay for the survey
2 the buyer and his dad are 2 separate households - government guidance for house viewings is very clearly limited members of immediate household only
3 when they came for previous viewings they took ages (small 2 bed terrace) and touched everything. I cant see that changing. And our rooms are so small there's no way they can social distance in them.
4 the only person we've let in the house since lockdown started is the surveyor for their mortgage.

We are sticking pretty strictly to government guidelines as we have a close family member who has been shielding but has felt comfortable to see us briefly outdoors in the last couple of weeks since they know we've kept ourselves with as little contact as possible.

Am i just being grumpy and should find a way of dealing with this to just try and get the blasted deal done, or has their CF-ness now reached the stage where we are justified in telling them to just pay for a survey - or that we will accommodate just one of them?

[chipsandpeas]

well what are your options if you say no and they pull out

[Flev]

@chipsandpeas that's what I'm worried about. I think I'm just so, so, so fed up with them messing us about (it's been a very long 4 months so far) and it feels like this is just yet another case of them wanting everything their own way. I just wonder what they'll ask for next if we say yes.

[nervousnelly8]

Could you ask the agent to confirm that if they come, they will not be asking for a full structural survey? I would just say that you are shielding and need to minimise the number of people coming through, so if they want a separate survey you would prefer to wait for the surveyor.

[lastqueenofscotland]

I would agree on the proviso that it is the last visit you will allow access for

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

To be fair life has been sluggish for 4 months. I wouldn’t pull out but I would want to check their timeline, any chain, change to circumstances since lockdown? And then I’d set a deadline eg. 60days

[TempestHayes]

They aren't skilled surveyors so it's pointless them coming round. Their opinions wouldn't count for anything if they fancied demanding some money off for a structural issue.

Say no. You are happy to let in a trained surveyor, who knows not to touch things, but you are less keen to have two randos visiting 'in the current climate'.

They might be less likely to pull out - wasted costs, having to look for another property, start the ball rolling again - than you think.

[larrythelizard]

We didn't pay for a survey on our last survey, instead DH and his dad hired a damp meter and did their own inspection.

I'd be asking the estate agent to be setting dates with them, and clarifying whether this is instead of a paid for survey (be that home-buyers or a full structural survey).

Once you know if this is additional or not you can make a decision.

[okiedokieme]

Things have dragged for everyone, nothing happened for 2 months at all and it was really only mid June when solicitors started pushing things along again. Assuming that the buyer is young, asking his dad is very reasonable. I would allow it and use the visit to emphasise that things need to now get moving

[sergeilavrov]

It’s a buyers market. If you say no, they can easily pull out and recoup all the money they’ve spent on your property on the savings they’ll get on another one. If you don’t want to sell your house to them, and you’re willing to wait for a new buyer and lower offer - then tell them no.

I think that things taking more time at the moment is completely reasonable, and I find it strange that people are willing to invest so much in a property they visit only a couple of times without broader opinions. It may be frustrating for you, but (not meant in a mean way) I think that isn’t their problem.

[custardbear]

I probably wouldn't say no but I'd put in boundaries due to cOvid and get some timelines in place.
They'd also need to wear facemasks and not touch anything personal, wear gloves but don these when they get inside the house to avoid contamination and also bring disinfectant and wipes to clean everything before the touch and when they've finished

Keep your home really ventilated when they come too, all windows and doors open and don't let them touch door handles or stair rails etc

I'd get clarity as to what they're doing and to what end and also if possible just have 1 of them there like you say it's two households but I'm not sure the rules when house sales are concerned

[MarshaBradyo]

I’d say ok personally. I’d probably feel miffed but say yes.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Depends if you want to sell, OP. I think it's probably a buyer's market.

Yanbu though, they sound a bit stupid tbh, if they are not qualified buildings surveyors, him & his dad coming for a look around is absolutely no substitute for a survey & is basically pointless.

[TokyoSushi]

Surely they can't do their own survey though? What if the bank of somebody asks, what are they going to say? 'Oh I went round with my Dad and it looks fine?!'

I suspect they're coming to look for a reason to lower the price. If they're not actually very far along with the process, I'd probably say no and potentially put it back on the market.

[Jaxhog]

I'd say yes, provided they come in one at a time, wear a mask, sanitize their hands, and don't touch anything. As per government guidelines. Hopefully, that will put them off without you having to say no.

[Ifeelfat]

Absolutely a buyers market.
Relax or you might lose them. Go out for the day and let the agent handle it, it’s their job.

[Alsohuman]

It’s been slow in a lockdown? Well there’s a surprise.

If it were me I’d make it clear it’s them or a surveyor, not both. And, unless it’s the surveyor, there will be no negotiation on price. Ball back in their court.

[ginghamtablecloths]

It's tricky. A buyer can be all sweetness and light, you accept their offer and the fun and games start. You say yes to the first request and it can go downhill from there with each one getting more unacceptable. You end up with monthly visits from electricians, builders, architects, the buyers themselves accompanying, and surveyors. Then on the eve of moving they threaten to pull out if some ridiculous demand isn't met. Even my ES wanted to pull the plug on them. That was my experience seven years ago and it's fair to say it took me a while to get over it. Damn nightmare.
If I'd not given in to the first demand how would it have gone? Any better? Who knows? Suffice to say that some people behave very badly where money and houses are concerned. Commiserations.

[IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0]

OP: do you actually want to sell your house? You would be okay with a surveyor, but not with the potential buyer and his Dad. When you are so anxious about visits perhaps you should put things on hold.

[MaggieFS]

Would you be ok if they pulled out? Are they even qualified to do the survey? If they need a mortgage, the lender will require a proper valuation. I'd be tempted to tell your agent they're taking the piss and if you don't have a date for a surveyor to come booked in by COB tomorrow, the house is going back on the market.

[AnnieMaul]

Putting aside the fact that I wouldn't ask this of a seller

If, as a buyer I asked the seller if I could pop over for another look with the intention of conducting my own survey and they said no, I may wonder what they don't want me to see or what are they trying to hide? As a result of that, I'd probably either pull out, or drag my heels a bit more whilst I found somewhere else I was interested in making an offer on.

It seems a bit like you might be cutting your nose off to spite your face because they've been slower than you'd have liked. If they've been slow, by all means relay this to the agent who can keep things on track, but if you actually want to move forward with the sale it's best to keep them on side IMO.

[OVienna]

Surely they can't do their own survey though? What if the bank of somebody asks, what are they going to say? 'Oh I went round with my Dad and it looks fine?!'

Has the bank's valuation team been round?

[TeaAndHobnob]

I think it's fair to ask them to consider to minimise the visits they are making to your house in the current climate.

What that looks like - one of the buyer and his dad, not both, or both but not a survey as well - should be up to what you are comfortable with.

[Devlocopop]

What are they looking at this time that they missed the last 3 times they visited? They are not surveyors so what expertise do they think they have?

Do you think they are trying to find something to reduce the price on?

[stairgates]

I would tell them to come and have a look but let them know you are also opening it back up to other buyers with a first come first served option of buying, Im reading that house prices are going up at the minute so it could be a blessing in disguise.

[SomewhereInbetween1]

I'd let them in. They're likely to miss lots of the very stringent things a structural survey might pick up and therefore less likely to you for ask you for a price reduction as a result.