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PIL birthday card. Should I be offended?!

(126 Posts)
PonyPals Thu 16-Jul-20 12:54:47

This is light hearted... thought I would share with you a bday card that was sent to me by PIL hmm

OP’s posts: |
ImAncient Thu 16-Jul-20 23:46:16

I like funny cards. To le it’s funny. I’m not keen on the nicey nicey so I wouldn’t be offended by it.

I’ve lost 5 stone & I got a framed photo with before & after from sil - it’s on my fridge!! Pride of place.

Happy birthday op 🥳

Yeahnahmum Thu 16-Jul-20 23:31:09

You feel offended because you are overweight. Fair enough. But if there is no backstory between you and pil I see this card as pretty harmless

locked2020 Thu 16-Jul-20 23:11:18

Happy birthday! I would personally see this as lighthearted and indicative that they feel comfortable enough with you to have some banter.

PonyPals Thu 16-Jul-20 22:54:27

Thank you for all the birthday wishes and for all your opinions!
It really was meant a bit as a lighthearted post. I am going to just move on and forget about it.
FILs bday is next week.... must find the perfect card for him wink

OP’s posts: |
PonyPals Thu 16-Jul-20 22:54:17

Thank you for all the birthday wishes and for all your opinions!
It really was meant a bit as a lighthearted post. I am going to just move on and forget about it.
FILs bday is next week.... must find the perfect card for him wink

OP’s posts: |
WinterBerry7 Thu 16-Jul-20 20:10:01

Thinkingabout1t

*One year they got me a framed photo of myself at my heaviest shoving a taco in my gob on holiday*

That is horrible! Now that would offend me. Even if it was meant to celebrate the fact that you'd lost all that weight - a photo of the new slim you would have been better.

I don’t even think that’s what they gave it me for! They just thought it was a hilarious photo from a holiday we’d been on! So odd. I can normally laugh at myself but that stung.

84claire84 Thu 16-Jul-20 18:50:09

Happy birthday.

I think it's a twatish card but rise above it. Let them know how much you loved it and it was your favourite card you received. That'll piss on their not so funny bonfire.

Have a lovely evening

Thinkingabout1t Thu 16-Jul-20 18:37:21

One year they got me a framed photo of myself at my heaviest shoving a taco in my gob on holiday

That is horrible! Now that would offend me. Even if it was meant to celebrate the fact that you'd lost all that weight - a photo of the new slim you would have been better.

KetoIFWinnie Thu 16-Jul-20 17:41:17

Postmanbear

I think the card is rude and mean. Of all of the cards they picked this one?! It’s not even funny.

That's it really! I bet there was another one they could have chosen

bringbacksideburns Thu 16-Jul-20 17:38:26

Are you massively fat and alcoholic?

Then no I wouldn't be offended. it's not the best card but if you have a good relationship with them it's not really an issue is it?

I do wonder how people find time to work and go about their lives on this thread who seem to be outraged by everything. it's suffocating.

rvby Thu 16-Jul-20 17:36:35

I'm on the slimmer side, dont like wine or cake. So to me it's just a crap, lazily fat phobic, lazily misogynist kind of card... I'd think whoever's sent it dosen't know much about me.

Bit mean to send it to someone who has had weight struggles really. People are stupid though.

Luckyonetwo Thu 16-Jul-20 17:29:12

WhatATimeToBeAlive

Oh no, the professionally offended are out in force again. FFS.

grin I was just thinking that too!

DistinguishedCarrot Thu 16-Jul-20 17:23:30

It's not a great card, but as an overweight woman who drinks more wine than eats cake, it wouldn't have offended me. As PP have said it depends how your relationship is generally as to whether you find it offensive or not.

My IL's gave me a separate Christmas card when we me and DH first moved in together, and I was rather [hmmm] - I asked DH if his BIL and SIL got separate cards and they didn't, so I wasn't sure if it meant something. Certainly neither card was special enough in their own right to have warranted one or other of our names not being on them. In reality, I suspect they normally bought their "family" cards in the sales each January so had a "son" one left to use up from the previous! I did wonder for a while whether I should take it personally though!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff Thu 16-Jul-20 16:59:20

Its a really rubbish card, I'd think nothing of it if sent by people who are normally delightful. But as you say they're not then its deffo having a dig. I like the earlier suggestion of pretending it didnt arrive and then asking them to explain the joke in front of your DH.
People who want to have a dig will always find something to have a dig about whatever your attributes. I hope you enjoy your birthday to the hilt, wine, cake and all.

Moonshinemisses Thu 16-Jul-20 16:49:31

Dear me, its just a card & I'd see it more of a 'she likes wine's joke than a weight thing. Have some wine & cake and chill the fuck out. Happy Birthday

WinterBerry7 Thu 16-Jul-20 16:43:19

Eurgh I used to get stuff like this from my ex IL’s all the time (they were actually really lovely people so I’m not in law bashing)

I like wine. And gin. And my food. But spent a year losing 3 stone.
One year they got me a framed photo of myself at my heaviest shoving a taco in my gob on holiday. They thought it was hilarious and meant no harm. I found it very hurtful and spent the night holding back tears.

piscean10 Thu 16-Jul-20 16:42:47

If you are overweight then it is very rude . They seem like they are taking a dig.

zonkin Thu 16-Jul-20 16:37:14

I think it's funny. There are a ton of cards like that.

MimiLaRue Thu 16-Jul-20 16:36:55

I mean, if you are asking us if you should decide to be offended or not then wouldnt that indicate you dont really feel THAT offended? When people offend me, I know without a doubt that I am offended. I dont have to ask other people if I should feel angry or not- thats a bit weird....

Sailfin Thu 16-Jul-20 16:31:55

Well, it's a silly joke and not very funny.

As others have said, it depends on what these people are like and what your relationship with them is like.

From your follow up, it sounds like they are having a dig.

Some people think they are funny but are just mean. I had a nervous breakdown years ago and a "friend" went out of his way to make me a framed picture with the message "Do Not Disturb ... Any Further!".

He had a professional artist design it and had it professionally framed! He was really proud of it but I'm afraid I didn't see the funny side.

Leflic Thu 16-Jul-20 16:28:45

We don’t have many places selling cards now that Clintons is closed. We have a couple of small supermarkets with limited choice and half empty shelves and a very expensive gift type shop with art and flower type o es.
And anywhere that sells stamps has long queues.

Don’t sweat it this year.

Fromthebirdsnest Thu 16-Jul-20 16:23:16

I'd take it as a joke that probably how it's meant , if you feel it's not then still take it as a joke don't take on people being cruel it's not worth it , happy birthday have a great day x

StampMc Thu 16-Jul-20 16:20:07

The abundance of wine/gin related humorous cards suggests lots of people find them hilarious. I wouldn’t find it offensive but I wouldn’t chose it because it’s not my humour but I LOVE that cat card. Last birthday my bff got me one that said “I hate everyone who isn’t you” which is neither true or particularly funny but I loved it. I don’t think they’re supposed to be taken literally.

weathervane1 Thu 16-Jul-20 16:16:56

It's intended to be funny. Yes it might be a little bit tedious as funny cards go, but it's not exactly a damning indictment or intentionally nasty is it. He probably thought it was a bit of banter and you'd laugh along with him. I doubt anything bad was meant.

laudete Thu 16-Jul-20 16:16:32

Happy birthday @PonyPals. flowers

It's not a great card, tbh. But, there are worse "humourous" cards out there. I'd put it down to their poor taste in cards. I'd also remember to put as little thought into cards for them, at the next opportunity.

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