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PIL birthday card. Should I be offended?!

(126 Posts)
PonyPals Thu 16-Jul-20 12:54:47

This is light hearted... thought I would share with you a bday card that was sent to me by PIL hmm

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Thu 16-Jul-20 12:57:15

Do you have a weight issue? If not I’d see it as a joke, if you do I’d think it was a bit bitchy,,,

Dinosforall Thu 16-Jul-20 12:57:32

Suppose it depends if you're overweight and/or known to like wine!

Clawdy Thu 16-Jul-20 12:57:59

No, it's funny!

MondeoFan Thu 16-Jul-20 13:01:39

It's awful I'd be offended if I received that card.

Wearywithteens Thu 16-Jul-20 13:01:55

Yes - YANBU - there is no circumstance where that is a nice birthday card. Even if you were known for your amazing slim figure it’s still a stupid card. That would annoy me so much I would throw a family history worthy tantrum. They would know not to do it again.

TheMandalorian Thu 16-Jul-20 13:01:58

I don't really like these types of derogatory jokes. Especially as a birthday card. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it (unless you are on an anonymous Internet forum).
However I have a thick skin so would just hide it behind a nice card and then recycle it.

Hoppinggreen Thu 16-Jul-20 13:02:46

I am quite obviously fat so yes I would be very offended

Ginkypig Thu 16-Jul-20 13:03:11

I think it depends on your historic relationship with them to be honest.

If I got that from my lovely mil I'd know she was trying to be lightheartedly funny because she would never be mean to me.

If it came from my best friend I would know she was having a funny dig about my love of wine and cake.

If it came from a certain couple of my family members then I'd know that they were getting quiet pleasure from the thought that they had humiliated me because they are not nice people and have a history of using subtle (and not subtle) ways of putting me down and when done in person in front of others I can see the pleasure they take from it. Like they feed on it!

ginsparkles Thu 16-Jul-20 13:03:39

Depends on your relationship with your in-laws. I would find it funny.

ThickFast Thu 16-Jul-20 13:03:48

I wouldn’t be offended but it’s really a stupid card. I’d think less of the person who sent it to me.

Sexnotgender Thu 16-Jul-20 13:04:03

That’s really quite rude! I’d probably be offended to receive that.

Youbigdosser Thu 16-Jul-20 13:04:58

What point did everyone stop being able to take a joke

HyggeTygge Thu 16-Jul-20 13:05:50

That's an incredibly crap card but I couldn't get offended by it myself.

GinWithASplashOfTonic Thu 16-Jul-20 13:06:19

I think if a close friend gave it to me I'd find it funny.
If my in-laws gave it to me I'd see it as a bit of a dig but would try and laugh it off.

Ginkypig Thu 16-Jul-20 13:07:05

It's not my kind of funny though to be honest.

I would appreciate it from my friend because i know she would be sending it to me so we could laugh together because it would be about both of us.

From almost anyone else though it would miss the mark even if like in my post above the person would definitely not be trying to be horrible.

PonyPals Thu 16-Jul-20 13:07:49

I do have a weight issue and @Ginky said it perfectly well:

If it came from a certain couple of my family members then I'd know that they were getting quiet pleasure from the thought that they had humiliated me because they are not nice people and have a history of using subtle (and not subtle) ways of putting me down and when done in person in front of others I can see the pleasure they take from it. Like they feed on it!

OP’s posts: |
Ginkypig Thu 16-Jul-20 13:08:21

Sorry I meant to add

happy birthday ponypals flowers

WhatATimeToBeAlive Thu 16-Jul-20 13:08:38

Oh no, the professionally offended are out in force again. FFS.

Wearywithteens Thu 16-Jul-20 13:11:26

It’s not a joke though is it? Like a ‘three men went into a pub...’ joke. It’s a personal joke that’s derogatory and says that they are laughing and judging about her weight and drinking. Taking the piss out of someone is only funny when it’s about something that highlights the good traits that people love. It’s not funny when it’s snarky and bitchy.

ContessaferJones Thu 16-Jul-20 13:11:38

Text them back to say thank you for the lovely card and that it's OK, you've got one straw in the wine glass and another in the bottle so can eat cake and drink wine until you explode grin

Seriously though, they are being bitchy!

Postmanbear Thu 16-Jul-20 13:13:36

I think the card is rude and mean. Of all of the cards they picked this one?! It’s not even funny.

PonyPals Thu 16-Jul-20 13:14:18

Thank you @GinkyPig I shall celebrate it in lockdown style (I'm in Victoria) with heaps of wine (I actually don't usually drink) and lots of cake (mmmm).

Will just laugh it off and treat it as a joke. grin

OP’s posts: |
Dollywilde Thu 16-Jul-20 13:16:20

It’s a shit card, I wouldn’t take it badly if it came from my in-laws but that’s because I know it wouldn’t be meant in a nasty way. I would wonder if MIL had taken leave of her senses in buying it but would give her the benefit of the doubt! If they’re not kind people though I can totally understand why you’d be upset, I’m sorry flowers sad

Letseatgrandma Thu 16-Jul-20 13:19:08

My MIL is always sending me (not) funny photos about people drinking too much wine. It’s irritating and rude.

If I was as rude back, I’d send her jokes about being a bitch and eating too many biscuits, but I ignore as it’s easier.

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