To want to send flowers or something to the house we pulled the offer on

[Tobytoesgoes]

We put an offer in on a house that we genuinely would have been very happy in but it was not the dream home. Literally later the same day the perfect house was listed on Rightmove. We didn't see it had come up before we put in the offer. It was our first offer and we anticipated a bit of negotiation so decided we had time to go view this house and booked that but the offer was accepted. We went to see the house anyway just to explore the possibility and it was honest to goodness, perfect for us. Every box was ticked and we can see ourselves living there forever. We offered the asking price straight away as it was so new to the market and they accepted. We immediately pulled our offer for the other house. The agent did sound so annoyed when I told him. I feel honestly terrible for the first house owners. It had been on the market for 2 years and the agent sounded so genuinely excited when we said we wanted to put an offer in. We honestly never meant to string them along or mess them around.
I said to DH we should send them some flowers or chocolates to apologise for retracting the offer but he said that's ridiculous and I need to stop worrying about it. I know I should.stop worrying really, we had to do what was right for us but can it hurt to just send a small token to apologise?

[pandafunfactory]

No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone.

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

I can't say I blame you for going with your dream house, but honestly I wouldn't send them anything. If I was them I would probably put them straight in the bin.

[Grapewrath]

Flowers will make zero difference to how they are feeling at the moment. I’m not sure that you are in the wrong here, as you have to put your own needs first in this situation. However owners of the house you pulled out of will be totally gutted and some chocolates is just going to rub salt in the wound
I think you are justified though in feeling guilty. Your husband doesn’t sound very nice.

[GU24Mum]

If you withdrew pretty much straight away, you haven't cost the sellers anything other than getting their hopes up. It's not as if (from what you've said), they'd started the formal sale process / turned down anyone else / lost another house.

Nice thought but I think the seller would probably just rather forget about it.

[Mmmmycorona]

No don’t send anything. But don’t feel bad. It’s not ideal but it’s not like you got weeks/months into the process and then pulled out.

[Wavey123]

Sounds like you did what was right for you, an offer retracted on the same day isn’t like pulling out on the day you’re due to exchange contracts.

[netflixismysidehustle]

Don't send anything. It will piss them off more and the gift will be binned straight away.

[chinateapot]

I understand why you did what you did and I think you did the right thing.

Obviously the owners of the first house will be hugely upset though - flowers / chocolates won’t help and will make it worse if anything I think.

[Knobblybobbly]

This happened to us. I honestly can’t say I was angry with the people who pulled out. That’s all part of the house buying/selling game right?

[TeaLibrary]

You're just adding insult to injury OP. Honestly contacting them and offering flowers/ chocolates will just piss them off.

[mindutopia]

No definitely not. We’ve been in the process of buying a house since before lockdown (nearly 6 months now). We finally were just about ready to exchange and the vendors pulled out and decided they didn’t want to sell after all. I’d be pretty pissed if they sent me flowers. I wouldn’t mind all the ££££’s I spent on fees and a solicitor though.

[LunaNorth]

I’m not sure what people on here would have you do?

Spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on a house you didn’t want, just to be polite?

I wouldn’t send a gift, but I don’t think you did an awful thing, either. You didn’t kill anyone

[fargo123]

Don't send anything. It'll just add insult to injury.

[frazzledasarock]

You pulled out before any of the legal processes had begun, they had literally just accepted. It’s not ideal for them but there’s nothing to feel guilty about. It’s not a horrendous thing to do.

We had people pull out because of brexit when we’d instructed solicitors and a person who put an offer in and disappeared totally without a word. Then we sold.

If their house has been on the market for two years they may need to reassess the price or do it up a bit or something.

Do not send them chocolates or flowers that would feel very patronising.

[LaurieMarlow]

No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone.

This. I’d be putting those flowers straight in the bin. Don’t add insult to injury, you’ve done enough damage.

[dodgeballchamp]

It always makes me laugh how people are so emotive about house sales but when any topic on renting comes up it’s always “landlords have to protect their business!” Well, the housing market is a business, and you made the best investment decision. You’ve done nothing wrong. I wouldn’t send them anything though

[BudgieHammockBananaSmuggler]

You did what is right for you and that is fair enough when it comes to a house purchase.

But wanting to buy a gift is also actually for you - it’s to assuage your guilt, it’s not for their benefit.

Just accept you made your decision and own it. The vast majority of people would also make the same decision.

[sweetbirdofjuice]

I wouldn't send anything tbh unless they're acquaintances. The order of events was unfortunate but it doesn't sound as though your pulling out cost them anything. I would just leave it. You didn't set out to dash their hopes, but needed to go with the better house for you.

[MargotLovedTom1]

It's shit for them to have their hopes dashed, but it's hardly your fault the house has been up for two years with no interest. I would be wondering why it had languished on the market for so long tbh.

Just concentrate on getting your new house purchase sorted and move on. I wouldn't send flowers or anything like that.

[2020times]

Some people are overly dramatic on here! It was just an offer, these things fall through all the time! We had offers fall through at all stages including once 4 days before we were due to complete. Shit happens, it's no big deal. I wouldn't even worry about it.

[poppydull]

No you did an awful thing. Those poor people. Leave them alone.

Yes you should have ignored your dream house & bought their one or both!

[poppydull]

I wouldn’t send a gift, but I don’t think you did an awful thing, either. You didn’t kill anyone

I think murder is considered less offensive by some on here. Very odd.

[Ihaventgottimeforthis]

Nobody would buy a house they didn't really want, just to protect the feelings of strangers.

Yep it's tough but it can't be helped. You've apologised, it's a perfectly normal aspect to selling houses, forget about it and enjoy your dream house!

[Tobytoesgoes]

It hasn't cost them any money; there was less than 48 hours between my offer going in, being accepted and then retracted. I get that it was extremely disappointing for them and this is why I feel very bad about it, especially after being on the market for so long, they must have been so happy to finally have a buyer. But I do know that financially, I haven't actually hurt anyone and I do own my decision to go with the better house for us, so I don't accept the criticism from those saying that I've done enough damage etc.
I appreciate the advice and perspective of you all saying that any kind of gift will not be well received and is more for my benefit than theirs so thank you, I understand that and will just move on from this and internally wish them the best.

[BigBadVoodooHat]

I’m not sure what people on here would have you do?

Spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on a house you didn’t want, just to be polite?

That does seem to be the MN rule of house buying. That, and never offering a penny below the asking price or you’re the world’s most reprehensible and insulting arsehole

Don’t worry about it, OP. You’re not Satan, you just reconsidered a huge, life-changing decision, which you’re perfectly entitled to do. You don’t need to send anything. They’ll be disappointed, but that’s the nature of the property market. 🤷‍♀️