DH has his own business and I work for him, and it's very stressful. I've never liked it, I work on my own and feel very lonely. Im not good at being self employed - im a hard worker but struggle with focus and work much better with a boss telling me what to do and being part of a team. I started helping him with a few bits when the business was small and just gradually ended up working for him full time.
December last year, up until just before the lockdown, my mental health was terrible. I was having bad nightmares related to the job where I'd wake up in a panic. I started to stutter when I talked sometimes. I barely slept.
I was prescribed some mood stabilisers and they kicked in around the same time lockdown started and for a couple of months I felt amazing. I was getting stuff done, felt less lonely than I have for years (DH doing reduced hours, family zoom chats everyday, etc), was doing my hobbies and cooking etc.
I thought it was coincidence with the timing of lockdown and the ADs starting to work but since going back to working full time a month ago, I feel like I'm slipping back into how I was feeling before, but worse? Nightmares are starting again too and I've noticed I've stammered a couple of times.
DH and my relationship is general good but I'm very laid back and he is a bit bossy, so I often feel like I'm just supporting him through his life rather than living my own.
He is a workaholic and loves his life, thrives off stress, works six days a week, 10+ hours per day.
I don't feel like I could just stop working for him, it would be a case of either stop with him and work for him or quit the job and also split up.
I feel like I have an instinct inside me to just run away. Leave everything and just go. I could potentially go to Uni in September to study teaching, which has always been my dream job. Or I could move to the coast.
But at the same time I can't bear the thought of leaving him, or having such an uncertain future. We don't have kids, after years of infertility, but we have a comfortable life together. I'm 30 and we've been together 15 years.
WIBU to leave?
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
To consider leaving DH over work?
136 replies
UncertainFuture · 14/07/2020 20:00
OP posts:
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