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To think this is weird? Or have I majorly blundered?

(232 Posts)
Stickystick Tue 14-Jul-20 17:38:16

Am single parent, one DC6. Fairly risk tolerant but cancelled our holiday abroad this summer because breathing recycled air cheek by jowl with 400 randoms on a plane for hours seemed a bad idea...

However poor DC6 has been cooped up in our little flat for months now, not getting much exercise or fresh air, and I have been trying to think of somewhere affordable where we haven’t been before that we could drive to for a week’s adventure. Then I remembered his godmother (also his father’s sister) has some land in a remote part of England with a few holiday cottages on it - very socially distanced, lots of nature. I could see from their website that they had availability in August, so I wrote to her and asked if we could rent one of the cottages for a week - paying full market price, naturally, because I didn’t want her to think she had to turn down paying guests to make room for us.

Her reply was odd though - was perfectly polite, said “would be lovely to see DC6 at some point” and didn’t answer the “can we please book” question at all.

I left it for a couple of weeks thinking maybe more was coming/they were waiting to see what happened with Government rules, but radio silence.

So I just mentioned it to my DC6’s dad (her brother), with whom I am on amicable terms, thinking maybe he could put in a word.

He said, rather grimly “Ah yes, I heard about that.”

He went on to say that my request was totally weird and put his sister in a very awkward position. He said, why would you pick their cottages out of all the other holiday destinations in the country? He said that DC6 is “family” (implication being that I am not) and it would be totally bizarre for DC6 to be staying on their land as a paying guest. If DC6 were to go, it should be with him (DC6’s dad) as he is the connection between DC6 and his aunt, and it would be downright weird for DC6 to be there otherwise.

I am puzzled and a bit hurt by this - I wouldn’t say we are madly close to the aunt as she lives a fair way away, and DC6 and I are not part of mass family gatherings (not that there are many) as I am not with his father, but I think our interactions have always been very respectful and polite, presents sent, thank you letters written etc. I don’t think it would be weird at all to be a paying guest on her land - I can afford the rent and IMO it would be CF-ery to be anything else (ie expecting a freebie, inviting ourselves to stay in their own house etc). I thought of their cottages because it’s an area I don’t know, and she always mentions the wonderful nature whenever she writes to us: I think DC6 would love it.

Was my request unreasonable? Or have I committed a genuine faux pas? Is there anything that can be done?

OP’s posts: |
nevergoingoutagain Tue 14-Jul-20 17:43:19

It is weird! The correct response would be "I'd love to see him and if course you don't have to pay/we'll offer you discount"

You are his mother why does it matter??!!

Spied Tue 14-Jul-20 17:44:37

Unless the relationship between you and the Aunt was strained then I don't think it's strange that you would use her business.
( And it's obviously not strained when you correspond).

She's the weird one.

ClaryFray Tue 14-Jul-20 17:45:20

Your right it's weird but on they're part not yours.

There are lots of other lovely people to give your hard earned cash too

Ponddering Tue 14-Jul-20 17:45:38

They are certainly being the weird ones!

How peculiar?!

iklboo Tue 14-Jul-20 17:46:57

They're weird and over thinking it.

Mnhealth202020 Tue 14-Jul-20 17:50:51

Reading between the lines it sounds like she doesn’t want you there, you’re not welcome - but your son is. However they’d rather he experiences it for the first time with his dad and “the family”, so they don’t want it to be now that he visits.

I would just book somewhere else. Preferably at one of her local competitors!

thenightsky Tue 14-Jul-20 17:51:58

Aunt is being weird. Book somewhere else.

RandomMess Tue 14-Jul-20 17:54:05

Yep Aunt is weird!!! You preferred to give her your business and she's cross with you about it 🤷🏽‍♀️

youhave4substitutes Tue 14-Jul-20 17:54:17

I think she probably gives her guests the privacy they've paid for and treats them professionally.

That would be downright awkward with your nephew and your brothers ex. Imagine accepting the full rate for a holiday cottage and then being torn between maintaining your professional standards and spending time with your relative.

Why would you pay the going rate to take DS there when he can visit for free with his dad?!

youhave4substitutes Tue 14-Jul-20 17:54:26

I think she probably gives her guests the privacy they've paid for and treats them professionally.

That would be downright awkward with your nephew and your brothers ex. Imagine accepting the full rate for a holiday cottage and then being torn between maintaining your professional standards and spending time with your relative.

Why would you pay the going rate to take DS there when he can visit for free with his dad?!

youhave4substitutes Tue 14-Jul-20 17:54:46

I think she probably gives her guests the privacy they've paid for and treats them professionally.

That would be downright awkward with your nephew and your brothers ex. Imagine accepting the full rate for a holiday cottage and then being torn between maintaining your professional standards and spending time with your relative.

Why would you pay the going rate to take DS there when he can visit for free with his dad?!

lanthanum Tue 14-Jul-20 17:56:16

It would perhaps be weirder for you to go to that area of the country and deliberately choose a different cottage. Perhaps email/write to her again and say something along the lines of "Sorry not to have heard back on whether any of your cottages are available in August - I guess things are filling up quickly at the moment. If we don't hear from you by the weekend, we'll look at booking another cottage in the area, as it's one we'd love to explore. If you have any recommendations, do say. We'll let you know if we manage to book anywhere, so that if you're around at the time and want to see DC6, we can arrange to meet."

Smallsteps88 Tue 14-Jul-20 17:57:53

Aunt and dad are definitely weird.

Namechangex10000 Tue 14-Jul-20 17:59:37

They’re weird. Perhaps understandable if it were a case of you expecting a freebie but obviously you aren’t!!! I’d always rather give my money to people I know and help them where I can. They sound like idiots and I’d take great please it taking my money elsewhere!!

BacklashStarts Tue 14-Jul-20 18:01:03

Yeah they have made something fine weird. But, family is weird!

Picklypickles Tue 14-Jul-20 18:02:15

She sounds like a pain in the backside and really quite rude actually, I would go somewhere else entirely and never bother her again.

IntermittentParps Tue 14-Jul-20 18:04:37

YANBU and no, you haven't blundered. They're making up drama to paint you in a bad light.

Look for somewhere else to go on your hols and fuck 'em.

lifestooshort123 Tue 14-Jul-20 18:05:09

You haven't blundered at all but she has said that she would feel uncomfortable with you both staying - she's been honest so book somewhere else and let Dad sort out the first visit.

Tlollj Tue 14-Jul-20 18:07:50

Perhaps his dad wants to take him.
That way they can spend time together.
Just book somewhere else

Wheresthebiffer2 Tue 14-Jul-20 18:08:23

You can't go now. They've made it clear they think it's a weird suggestion (it's not, it's fine). But now you know, you just have to choose somewhere else for your short break.

Soubriquet Tue 14-Jul-20 18:09:45

That is weird

I mean you offered full market price so you would be a normal tourist

It’s not like your asking for discount

happypoobum Tue 14-Jul-20 18:10:02

YANBU

They are being odd. Give your money to someone else flowers

LaPoesieEstDansLaRue Tue 14-Jul-20 18:10:34

Don't think you've made a blunder. Vague email response from aunt was slightly weird. But I'd just try and forget it and look for somewhere comply different to book.

LaPoesieEstDansLaRue Tue 14-Jul-20 18:10:53

*completely

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