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To be annoyed with DH insisting DS go to nursery today

(43 Posts)
Jnet28 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:31:42

We got back from a long trip last night and didn't step foot in the house until gone 9pm. There was a fire on our train route so trains were cancelled and we were massively delayed. By the time we'd eaten and bathed DS he didn't go to sleep until past 11. This is an exception, a one off due to the circumstances but obviously everybody is knackered this morning.

DS (3) goes to nursery twice a week mainly for the socialization, I'm a SAHP so it's not exactly necessary as in we dont rely on the childcare, yet DH said we will "look bad" if we don't send him because he "needs" to be in nursery confused

Personally I think everybody, primarily DS, would have benefited more not having to get up so early after spending the previous day travelling on multiple trains all day.

It's the last day of nursery term and then he's off for the summer holidays anyway.

Who is BU?

OP’s posts: |
Somethingorotherorother Tue 14-Jul-20 08:35:58

Id have said don't send him if it was just any other day, but as it's the last day of the term i think it's quite important - at 3 he's old enough to understand about breaks etc, but little enough that they could still be quite disruptive, so the 'rounding off' process of a final day is very helpful.

GinDrinker00 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:37:38

I would send him for his last day. It’s important so he builds a understanding.

bumblingbovine49 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:39:37

I wouldn't send him either ( just as a balance to the previous 2 posters)grin

I think he needs the rest more than the last day of nursery

EllaAlright Tue 14-Jul-20 08:40:01

I’d also send him for the last day.

Jnet28 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:40:05

I am sending him btw, I just think it's inconvenient and he's going to be shattered come lunch time

OP’s posts: |
Whatifitallgoesright Tue 14-Jul-20 08:40:53

You're up now so I'd just explain to the nursery he'll be tired and you don't mind collecting him early if they think he's really off.

Your DH however is being weird. It's not compulsory attendance. Is he getting mixed up with school?

Marmite27 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:41:07

I wouldn’t send him, but I wouldn’t have bathed him when I got home! Straight to bed and a shower in the morning.

Marmite27 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:42:00

Actually, if it’s the last day, I’d probably send him and tell them he’s tired either let him nap, or call me to collect.

Jnet28 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:42:47

Your DH however is being weird. It's not compulsory attendance. Is he getting mixed up with school?

That's what I said too, his reasoning is he thinks we will "look bad" for disrupting his routine and not "putting him first"

The nursery must be monstrous then for closing for 5 weeks grin

OP’s posts: |
Mydogisthebestest Tue 14-Jul-20 08:44:09

I would have sent him for the last day so he got closure for the holidays.

Happydaysforever123 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:47:53

I would have sent him for the last day for his benefit and to pick up any of his work and belongings. Not because I was worried what they would think.
He can have a good nap after lunch.

Mylittlepony374 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:52:46

I would've kept him home. I think it's odd to send him exhausted when really the benefit to him is minimal.

Maryann1975 Tue 14-Jul-20 08:56:01

A compromise would have been that you have a lazy morning, let him wake up in his own time and get him their slightly later. But, if he is anything like my dc he would have been up at the crack of dawn anyway so it wouldn’t have made any difference.

OnlyFoolsnMothers Tue 14-Jul-20 08:57:37

I’d send him in,

Heyhih3 Tue 14-Jul-20 09:02:11

I wouldn’t of sent him. What does it matter? Look bad to who? You won’t look bad to anybody I’m sure the nursery staff won’t mind at all. It’s a bit mean since you all went to bed late. At a push I would take him around 1pm.

midnightstar66 Tue 14-Jul-20 09:02:11

Definitely an odd opinion from DH that it will look bad in any way. However I'd just have let him wake naturally then taken him In whenever that was seeing it was the last day. A normal day I'd just have kept him off

SarahAndQuack Tue 14-Jul-20 09:08:13

I wouldn't send him in. And our nursery would be quite likely to ring up if a child came in so exhausted they couldn't join in, because they'd assume the child was ill. They're being very careful these days, for obvious reasons.

I don't see how on earth a three year old is supposed to extrapolate that their routine being disrupted with an 11pm bedtime is different from their routine being disrupted by a day off nursery, either. Mine's three and she's still pretty shaky on days of the week.

Spied Tue 14-Jul-20 09:09:37

I'm with your DH with regards to it looking bad.
I know at my DC's nursery/school there are parents who don't send their DC in on the last few days/ last day of term and tbh I find it quite disrespectful on the staff who have turned up to do their job and be there for your dc.
However, in your case you have a legitimate reason so I think I may have called and explained yesterday's scenario and kept him home.

NellePorter Tue 14-Jul-20 09:12:04

Any other day I wouldn't have sent him in, but as it's the last day yes I would, so he can "say goodbye" for the holidays and join in the fun activities. He can have a quiet few days now to recover. But I think your DH reasons for sending him are a bit odd.

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback Tue 14-Jul-20 09:18:19

The comment that it will "look bad" is ridiculous. It's nursery, it's in no way compulsory and you pay a shit load for the privilege. So I wouldn't even entertain this train of thought.

But as others have said it would have been nice for him to go in and see his friends again before the summer break. But if he was really knackered then maybe it wouldn't have been worth the hassle.

It's not a big deal. I think your DH overreacted a bit.

QuestionMarkNow Tue 14-Jul-20 09:22:51

As a guess, he is never the one who has to deal wth an overtired child all day long?
And he is also not the one to deal with him in the evening, end of afternoon, out him to bed etc...?

Because he seems to have no idea of how an overtired child is behaving tbh. Now does he seem to have an idea of how hard it will be for nursery (or for you when he comes back home).

I’m also confused at the idea of sending a child to school with little sleep for their own well-being. I thought that getting a good night sleep would have been top of the ‘looking after my child wellbeing’ tbh.

FWIW I’ve had a similar situation happening with ds1. Came back home at 1.00am. I didn’t send him to school. Ds1 was in Y10 too. School thought it was a totally ok reason to be late (ds1 turned up end of the morning once he had woken up naturally).

QuestionMarkNow Tue 14-Jul-20 09:24:38

For those who are saying it looks bad and disrespectful.
Are you saying that would send a child who is under the weather in the last day because teachers have turned up (ie they are doing the job they are paid for!).

If the DH was so concerned about looking bad, he shouldn’t have taken his ds away the day before the last day of nursery.

SmallChickBilly Tue 14-Jul-20 09:24:46

Whether you send him or not is up to you, but whether you 'look bad' should not be factored into the equation! Why is your husband more concerned about what the nursery think of him than he is about whether your son is up to going in?

Di11y Tue 14-Jul-20 09:27:45

Why not collect after lunch for a lazy afternoon? Nice to be in last day.

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