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Would you be friends with someone who was overweight?

(179 Posts)
alllthingsbright Mon 13-Jul-20 23:11:24

Tomorrow I'm meeting with a group of girls I met on an antenatal course.

We haven't seen each other since January when we were all pregnant.

Since the birth of my baby I've gained two stone shockshockand I'm now very over weight.

I was 12 and a half stone when I was pregnant and I'm now 14 and a half.

I know 12 stone isn't slim, but I don't think I looked "big" at that weight, where as now I look big and dumpy.
It's really affecting my self esteem and confidence.

I haven't told the girls I've gained weight and I'm worried that once they've seen me tomorrow I'll no longer fit into the friendship group.

Am I overthinking?

I'm considering cancelling.

OP’s posts: |
monotata Mon 13-Jul-20 23:14:03

Yes I would be friends with someone who was overweight.

If someone doesn’t because you’re heavier than they are then you’re not missing much by not having their company.

SchrodingersImmigrant Mon 13-Jul-20 23:14:15

Why wouldn't someone?

The only think I could think of is... Freestyle mountain climbers who hold meetings in a middle of a cliff? That might be a no go with a lot of extra weight?

trashcanjunkie Mon 13-Jul-20 23:14:30

They will very likely be in the same boat as you. Try not to over think it and focus on having a good laugh and showing off your baby

Fuebomba0 Mon 13-Jul-20 23:14:34

Erm yeh

POP7777777 Mon 13-Jul-20 23:14:42

You are definitely overthinking! 😘

AlexaShutUp Mon 13-Jul-20 23:15:52

Wow, you don't need the kind of friends who might reject you if you've put on a bit of weight. If they judge you, they're definitely not worth the effort.

Milsplus3 Mon 13-Jul-20 23:16:00

If they judge you by your weight they are not good friends. Most people have gained a bit of weight during lockdown, myself included (20 pound!) I wouldn’t be shallow enough to judge someone for it. Enjoy your baby

Cherrysoup Mon 13-Jul-20 23:16:51

Honestly, I don’t see what your weight has to do with their friendship. I understand that you feel worried about it (I hesitate to use the word paranoid in case someone tells me what a terrible person I am) but I think you’d be the only one concerned.

BobFleming Mon 13-Jul-20 23:17:35

Of course. I have friends that are fat. What a strange question.

wheresthehope Mon 13-Jul-20 23:18:03

Yes of course I would be friends. Don’t over think these things!

Jenjenn Mon 13-Jul-20 23:18:17

Yes of course. I dont know anyone who wouldn't. Try to put it out of your mind and enjoy yourself tomorrow.

LillianBland Mon 13-Jul-20 23:18:35

We’ve been on lockdown for months, loads of people have put weight on, so I doubt you’ll be the only one. If any of them are the sort to judge you on your weight, that’s not the kind of people you should even want to be friends with. It would mean that they’re not good enough for YOU.

chuffedasbuttons Mon 13-Jul-20 23:19:23

My best friend is morbidly obese.
We've been friends for 29 years. Sometimes we talk about her weight but only when she brings it up and I ask if she wants to talk about options or solutions. I quickly know when it's getting her down so we talk about something else.

For you, the other girls don't know that it gets you down so you can either make it obvious, not make it obvious or front it out in that typical fat humour way that causes awkward silences..... - I'd go with the 2nd and just be your wonderful self. It's not obvious. They aren't judging and if they are sod them.

I'm size 10. My bestie is size 24
I love her to pieces.

Stinkerbells Mon 13-Jul-20 23:19:48

Don’t cancel, stop stressing. Relax and enjoy 🤗

PumpkinP Mon 13-Jul-20 23:20:20

BEcause fat people never have friends do they?! hmm

Merryoldgoat Mon 13-Jul-20 23:21:19

Gosh - how odd OP - your self esteem must be very low to think yourself not worthy of friendship because of a few extra stone...

I’m very overweight. I’ve been varying degrees of overweight since I was 13. I have literally never been short of friends.

If they didn’t want to be your friend the problem is most definitely them.

Casualbride Mon 13-Jul-20 23:21:36

No one cares about your weight. Unless you think your friends are twats in which case ditch them.

SierraHotel Mon 13-Jul-20 23:22:00

Wowzers! If they did reject you then you don't need them in your life! I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

Fanthorpe Mon 13-Jul-20 23:22:03

Don’t cancel anything because you’re worried you’re too fat. Lose weight if it bothers you but only because you want to. I’m fatter than most of my friends, some of them would like me to lose weight but that’s ok, they’re not going to drop me, because we’re friends!

Nottobesoldseparately Mon 13-Jul-20 23:22:14

I'm fat, I've got loads of friends.

I'm the go to one in a crisis as it happens.

And usually the first one on the invite list(although that's because I'm the organised one, so I'm under no illusions there 😂)

Allmyarseandpeggymartin Mon 13-Jul-20 23:23:13

This is an odd question op - are you implying that you wouldn’t be friends with someone because they were fat?

MairzyDoats Mon 13-Jul-20 23:23:27

It wouldn't even occur to me to make weight a prerequisite for friendship?! Are you funny, sympathetic, nice to have around? Job done.

That said, as a friend I'd want to support you IF you wanted to lose weight.

Love51 Mon 13-Jul-20 23:23:58

I'm friends with people with a range of BMIs. I've never though about it before now!

The only time it's ever occurred to me that my friend's size made a difference was when I was living in uni halls and one friend and I could (and did) share clothes. She also had fab shoes. If you are having a standard baby meet up rather than a swishing party, no one will care!

IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0 Mon 13-Jul-20 23:24:19

You are a person - not a collection of stones and pounds - enjoy your time with the "girls" each of them will have their "problem" that they are worrying about. Be happy that you have someone to meet up with!

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