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Wtf would you do? Teenagers.

(134 Posts)
NotMoreTeenageDramas Mon 13-Jul-20 02:08:43

Nc for this. Could be long, I'll try to be as clear as I can.

In November, DD17 booked a holiday to Centre Parcs with 4 other girls. They were meant to go in 2 weeks time but have decided that due to the restrictions, it wouldn't be the same, so they've rebooked for early next year. (Yes they're aware that the same restrictions could still be in place then but they're optimistic).

As none of them are 21 and you need to have an over 21 year old on the booking, one of the girl's mums very kindly said she would put herself on the booking and spend the week with another family that's going at the same time. So she'd be there, but be out of the girls way so it's like they're on their first girls holiday alone.

For those who don't know, with Centre Parcs, you don't pay per person, you pay for the Villa. In this case, the girls were paying for a 6 bed villa and split the cost 6 ways.

The girls paid £208 each, and before they sent the money to the mum who was booking it, they all agreed that if someone were to drop out for whatever reason, they wouldn't be able to get their money back unless they found a replacement.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

One girl has fallen out with the other 4. I will never hear both sides of the story because I'm only being told one side from my DD (who is one of the 4). I've heard nothing but vile things about this other girl and can completely see why the other 4 don't want to be friends with her.

For a bit of context, the 4 have been friends since the start of secondary school (so nearly 6 years now) and the other girl they met at the beginning of sixth form (so about 9 months). You can see where the stronger friendships are.

As you can imagine, the girl doesn't want to come to Centre Parcs and is now demanding her money back. Originally, the girls said they couldn't give that back to her as they all agreed if you dropped out you wouldn't get it back.

The girls could split the cost of this girl's share and pay an extra £42 each so the girl can get her full amount back but they agreed that they can't really afford that and don't want to be out of pocket when this girl has been an awful friend to them.

I can see it from both sides. If it were my child that dropped out, I would be wanting the money back too because she's not going. However, they did agree before they paid there was a chance of no refunds and they were all happy to send the money off then anyway.

Here's the next bit. The girls are all 18 before the end of the year, and the 4 were happy to talk and try to resolve this between them like adults. This is where the discussion came in for them to pay the difference out of their own pocket because they were trying to be fair. However the other girl wanted to get parents involved and demanded the phone number of the mum who booked it.

The mum of the other was apparently threatening legal action if the £208 wasn't refunded, threatening to come round to their house, get the police involved etc.

For ease, I'm trying to convince my DD to pay £42 so the girl can get her money back and just leave them all alone. DD can't really afford £42 so we would pay it but I think it's just easier to give in given the circumstances.

It wasn't the 4 girls that pushed the other one out of their group and forced her to drop out of Centre Parcs. The 4 wanted to resolve their argument and carry on being friends but the other girl has been nasty and thrown their kindness and rationality back in their faces. I don't know the whole of the reason for the falling out but I've seen messages from my DD pleading with the other girl to sort it out and getting disgusting replies.

Needless to say, the friendship is far beyond repair so there is no chance they could make up and the girl could come to Centre Parcs after all.

Also, before anyone asks, there is also nobody who could fill the place. The girls have tried but there's not anyone they're good enough friends with to ask.

I just want other parents opinions, particularly those who have teenagers. Is it the right thing to do to encourage DD and friends to give £42 each so it gets the other girl to leave them alone?

OP’s posts: |
ellaandthebella Mon 13-Jul-20 02:19:00

Honestly, if this was my child I would be encouraging them to pay the girl her money back just so they can be the bigger person and get it over and done with. Like you say, they are under no obligation to do so but it is not like the girl is deciding not to go because she has something else to do - they are no longer friends. I am sure your daughter and the other girls now don't want her there just as much as she doesn't want to be there. I think what they need to think about is whether they would rather pay £42 to have her not there, or risk her coming for the trip anyway as she might as well as she as paid for it, and it being an awkward experience for their first holiday.

Floralnomad Mon 13-Jul-20 02:21:55

I think they should give her her money back , but then I also think that the mum on the booking form should not have lied about actually being in the same lodge as the girls . There is a reason that these types of places don’t want groups of unaccompanied young people staying .

MooseBeTimeForSummer Mon 13-Jul-20 02:26:21

I wouldn’t put it past the girl to contact Centre Parcs and drop them in it.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 13-Jul-20 02:26:59

Give the girl her money back and be done with it. Refusing to refund her will only exacerbate the drama.

NotMoreTeenageDramas Mon 13-Jul-20 02:27:18

Good. Just wanted to make sure I was saying the right thing because all of the girls are reluctant to pay her anything. Absolutely no chance that the girl shows up anyway, it's just whether she gets the money back or not. In neither scenario she goes so they're not worried about that. Thank you for the advice, I'll keep encouraging her to be the bigger person

@Floralnomad - I should have been clearer, the mum wasn't lying about what lodge she'll be staying in, she'll be with them every night to make sure they're okay, it's just she'll be leaving them to it during the day so they're more independent. There was supposed to be some mass mattress moving to be donegrin

OP’s posts: |
BabyGirl66 Mon 13-Jul-20 02:32:35

Am I missing something, but what exactly is the police going to do? Is it something to do with them still being legally minors?

And yes, there is a reason Center parks has a no under 21 rule. It is because it is a family resort. If they want a young persons holiday go to Ibiza.

NotMoreTeenageDramas Mon 13-Jul-20 02:35:10

BabyGirl66

Am I missing something, but what exactly is the police going to do? Is it something to do with them still being legally minors?

And yes, there is a reason Center parks has a no under 21 rule. It is because it is a family resort. If they want a young persons holiday go to Ibiza.


They are breaking no rules, there will be an adult on site for them at all times. But they're 17, they don't need babysitting. They just wanted independence and this was the best compromise.

Ibiza is not a place for those under 18. When they turn 18 that's their first destination, believe me.

OP’s posts: |
BabyGirl66 Mon 13-Jul-20 02:43:06

No a 17 year old does not need babysitting, just wondering why the ex friends mother is threatening with police action, also I was under the impression that the girls would be 18 by the time at the holiday.

And yes you can go to Ibiza at 17 many of my friends did, they just where not legally allowed to drink although they Are not the strictest country when it comes to ID

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback Mon 13-Jul-20 03:04:35

I'm also confused about the police threats... sounds like they are being very silly.

I'd probably encourage them to give her the money back and maybe find a replacement so they dont end up put of pocket. Imagine if they don't give her the money back and she goes along anyway, since she's paid, just out of spite? It would ruin the whole holiday.

JamesArthursEyelashes Mon 13-Jul-20 03:27:01

I’d try to get them all to pay the other girl the £42 each just to put an end to it all. Too much drama otherwise.

Hopefully they get to go early next year when they’ve rebooked for and they have a nice, fun, argument free holiday.

Summer41 Mon 13-Jul-20 03:31:49

If they give this girl her money back then the agreement that nobody gets a refund if they can no longer go becomes void. So what happens if another girl cannot go between now and the date of the trip? Does she get her money back too? Do the others have to pay another £42.00 each? It could end up with just two of them going and paying full price for the villa......

snitzelvoncrumb Mon 13-Jul-20 03:31:53

I would ask the girls what they plan to do if she does decide to go.

Whichoneofyoudidthat Mon 13-Jul-20 03:32:00

I’d encourage them to pay her back and I’d be acutely aware that I was getting only one side of the story.

Phillymouse Mon 13-Jul-20 03:35:31

Get another friend to go, and with the new friends money, pay the one whose dropped out

StoppinBy Mon 13-Jul-20 03:37:52

I would pay the money but also make it clear that there was an agreement that anyone dropping out would not get there money back so while the money is being returned there was no legal or moral obligation to do so and perhaps next time the young girl should not make commitments that she does not intend to keep.

I imagine there is more to the story though than your daughter and the 3 other girls being angels and this girl being the devil.....

StoppinBy Mon 13-Jul-20 03:38:46

*get their money not there money

snitzelvoncrumb Mon 13-Jul-20 04:05:09

Can all the girls and parents sit down and talk about it? They did agree that if someone pulled out its too bad too sad, but if the three other girls are ganging up on the other girl then they should have to pay her back.

overlooker Mon 13-Jul-20 04:44:36

4 against 1. 17 years old. I’ve got a niece of this age. She’s been ganged up on and excluded. If they’ve been horrible to her then of course she won’t respond to messages pleading to sort it out. She hasn’t just randomly started a feud. Something has happened and you aren’t being given the whole story. You are potentially the mother of a bitchy bully and in that case you should be ashamed of yourself for buying into whatever lies your daughter and her gang are giving you. You should insist on seeing all of the messages and you should also contact this other girl to get the full story without your daughter knowing so you can find the truth. Then you can decide on what happens to the money. Show your daughter that if she is a bully then she has to pay for that. To be honest, if you find out they have bullied this girl then you should tell your daughter she’s not going to CP and ring CP and tell them you want their booking cancelled as they are under age. Consequences.

mellowww Mon 13-Jul-20 04:48:56

overlooker

4 against 1. 17 years old. I’ve got a niece of this age. She’s been ganged up on and excluded. If they’ve been horrible to her then of course she won’t respond to messages pleading to sort it out. She hasn’t just randomly started a feud. Something has happened and you aren’t being given the whole story. You are potentially the mother of a bitchy bully and in that case you should be ashamed of yourself for buying into whatever lies your daughter and her gang are giving you. You should insist on seeing all of the messages and you should also contact this other girl to get the full story without your daughter knowing so you can find the truth. Then you can decide on what happens to the money. Show your daughter that if she is a bully then she has to pay for that. To be honest, if you find out they have bullied this girl then you should tell your daughter she’s not going to CP and ring CP and tell them you want their booking cancelled as they are under age. Consequences.


I agree.

The idea of four angels and one devil needs to be verified.

I'd also ask to see all the messages.

I'd also talk to the devil girl's mother.

It is likely the four have ganged you or bonded against her in some way. In which case fair enough that they should give her money back. Them, not you.

mellowww Mon 13-Jul-20 04:49:30

Ganged up not you

Livingoncake Mon 13-Jul-20 04:53:51

@overlooker I agree, I was instantly suspicious when I saw it was the four old friends versus the relative newcomer. And why do they only have “vile things” to say about her? If she’s that awful, why have they been friends with her for the past year?

I, too, would encourage you to find out the full story, OP, because your daughter certainly hasn’t given it to you.

Zoflorabore Mon 13-Jul-20 04:55:49

Isn’t it £52 per girl not £42?

It would be worth paying it to stop the drama in my opinion.

CJsGoldfish Mon 13-Jul-20 05:47:26

The only reason to hang on to the money is to continue the 4 against one thing going on. Not nice.

I'd give the money back without a second thought.

labyrinthloafer Mon 13-Jul-20 05:55:03

She should definitely be refunded and you might want to encourage your daughter to think for herself, not as part of a group. It is possible there are two sides to this story and the other be girl may have been badly treated. I would want to know more tbh.

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