My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To say that £4k

19 replies

GenderApostate19 · 10/07/2020 21:49

For a simple cremation funeral is obscene, especially as only 12 people are allowed at the Crem and only 6 🙄 are allowed at the graveside for interment of the ashes.
£600 to open a bloody grave to put an urn in 😱
Quite how they expect to stop people coming to a public cemetery I don’t know!
FiL would be horrified.

OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

68 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
18%
You are NOT being unreasonable
82%
Grilledaubergines · 10/07/2020 21:53

On the higher side for something basic but the number of people attending is academic.

Report
loutypips · 10/07/2020 21:59

We just paid two grand for a direct cremation- so its probably about right.
We chose a direct cremation as if didn't feel right to have a service with just me as my mum is shielding so couldn't even attend her own mum's funeral.

Report
Newkitchen123 · 10/07/2020 22:27

We had just graveside service 2k. Already owned grave. No funeral cars allowed. Ten people.

Report
IwishIhadaMargarita · 10/07/2020 22:39

It’s about average. I have told Dp when I go get the most basic coffin as it’s getting burnt (yes the bottom basement one looks cheap but it’s getting burnt). 1 car and anyone else can get there themselves and don’t bother with a wake as it’s his idea of hell. Hopefully it’s far off but that’s my wishes.

Report
FlamedToACrisp · 10/07/2020 22:46

My Mum had already paid for her funeral and it still cost over £1500 in extra fees (organist, minister, ad in local paper etc). Obviously this was before COVID and the funeral directors were willing to wait to be paid from her estate, but I wasn't expecting to have to pay anything extra.

Report
GrumpyHoonMain · 11/07/2020 02:22

It’s the last send off of a loved one - so no definitely not a waste of money.

Report
bettsbattenburg · 11/07/2020 02:50

@GrumpyHoonMain

It’s the last send off of a loved one - so no definitely not a waste of money.

Its not necessary to spend a lot though is it, you might as well do it as cheap as possible? We had no funeral for dad (thanks covid) and it was c. $3k (£1k) for his cremation. We could have spent $$$ but he'd still be dead and it's not a reflection on how much he's missed.
Report
GrumpyHoonMain · 11/07/2020 02:57

@bettsbattenburg - with all due respect that is your opinion. I know people who have spent thousands on the funerals of their family to help them cope - it isn’t a waste of money, it’s a way for them to move past their grief.

Report
RyanBergarasTeeth · 11/07/2020 03:00

Yep nothing is more expensive than death. Its a disgrace. A pure disgrace how much money is charged for a basic funeral especially when you factor in people who die suddenly with no life insurance, their poor family having to scrape together a huge sum of money in a short space of time. Im sorry for your loss op Flowers

Report
RyanBergarasTeeth · 11/07/2020 03:01

I know people who have spent thousands on the funerals of their family to help them cope - it isn’t a waste of money, it’s a way for them to move past their grief.

Yes but theres quiet a difference in wanting to pay extortionate ammounts of money and having no choice but to spend money you dont have.

Report
bettsbattenburg · 11/07/2020 03:11

[quote GrumpyHoonMain]@bettsbattenburg - with all due respect that is your opinion. I know people who have spent thousands on the funerals of their family to help them cope - it isn’t a waste of money, it’s a way for them to move past their grief.[/quote]
My point is, when you have zero choice then you realise actually it isn't necessary to spend a fortune. I probably would have if we'd had the choice bu5 as I said, it wouldn't have changed anything. I will spend as little as possible next time so I've done the same for both parents Sad

Report
bettsbattenburg · 11/07/2020 03:12

We could have spent $$$ but he'd still be dead and it's not a reflection on how much he's missed.

...if it had been normal times not covid, as it was they only offered the cheapest package.

Report
Finfintytint · 11/07/2020 03:28

My mum’s funeral cost £5k. It’s absurd. Her late husband’s family were funeral directors and they were bloody loaded.
I was shocked at how much it cost.....straight to cremation but mum wanted a tea and cakes wake ( £1k). A lot of money is to be made.

Report
lyralalala · 11/07/2020 04:09

It is very expensive.

The last funeral I attended the family had hired a bus/coach instead of a second or third car. It meant their entire extended family could travel. It was ideal for people too upset to drive or who didn't have a car.

Apparently it was £12 dearer than a second car, but seated 50 people instad of 6. At first when I heard about it I was a bit dubious, but at the wake people were saying it was actually lovely as people were all together chatting about the person and catching up.

Obviously no good during covid, but once things are back to normal I think it's something we'll see more in my social circle as it was a great idea.

Report
IamMaz · 11/07/2020 08:04

I've had it put in my Will that I want the cheapest coffin available [I think there's some sort of recycled cardboard type] and the minimum expense.

I intend to be cremated so what would be the point of an extremely expensive polished wooden coffin - just to be burnt? I's rather a body bag and a hygienic form of disposal, actually.

I want my family to benefit from any money I leave - NOT undertakers!

Report
Reedwarbler · 11/07/2020 08:28

@IamMaz you can get some wonderful cardboard coffins with designs on, or you can have your own designs and photos printed on. My relatives coffin was cardboard, but covered in a pic of the universe. It was very fitting as he loved astronomy.

Report
LadyOfTheFlowers · 11/07/2020 08:43

Funeral costs are an absolute con. A nasty way to rinse money out of grieving people.

Report
OntheWaves40 · 11/07/2020 08:51

I’d prefer one of those colourful cardboard coffins but wonder if they are much cheaper or not.
It’s an absolute disgrace that funerals are so expensive and something the government should look in to. I wonder how much the profit margin is.

Report
GenderApostate19 · 11/07/2020 15:48

We’ve actually gone with a very small local firm who have done everything DH and SiL want for £2100, all apart from adding FiL to Mil’s headstone.
More than half the firms we looked at are now owned by the Co op, who were the ones we called when he died as he had used them for Mil 20 years ago.

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.