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AIBU or are my family cheeky?

(79 Posts)
Logiclady94 Fri 10-Jul-20 16:20:15

Hi all, just wanted some advice on whether my DP and I are BU and Grabby or are my family being CF’s. Basically long story short some members of my family are asking my DP to use his job/skills to build them products. Products which would help with their businesses (don’t want to be outing) but they don’t want to pay the price whenever we mention what it roughly could be on average for an average product (they’ve even said they don’t want anything too fancy) They’ve scoffed at the price and said that they have got similar products currently with not as good quality for a massive fraction of the price and it hardly does any of the stuff they’ve asked him to include. He would also manage and maintain which would save them loads of admin time.

So the current situation that is due to Covid he was let go and our bills mean that we need about
a couple of hundred to maintain our current outgoings (so we wouldn’t be making any profit) and so we suggested again if they still want the products he’d do it for a massive fraction of the price literally the price of our outgoings and they’ve still scoffed in a way.

I am sorry but AIBU in thinking that they are being cheeky and if we asked them for what they were looking to pay than they wouldn’t get anything because most businesses that operated the same products would laugh them out of the room but because they see him as family they think it’s okay to do it for free basically.

Or am I being unreasonable and do I sound grabby? I really hope I don’t but I just don’t want DP to be taken advantage off

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Fri 10-Jul-20 16:25:18

Your family are a load of cheeky fuckers, definitely. I'd be telling them to jog on.

HighNetGirth Fri 10-Jul-20 16:27:03

It is unreasonable for even immediate family to expect you to make something at a cost to you, particularly in your current circumstances. Equally, it would be pretty off of you and your DH to want to make a profit from family, but as I understand it, you are not trying to.

Whoever wants this product should be meeting the full cost of materials and even e.g. electricity, if that’s significant. Until family members agree to that, I would ignore them.

DisobedientHamster Fri 10-Jul-20 16:29:18

They are cheeky AF. Please, please, tell them NO. Don't even offer to take payment later, they will not pay it. Just say he's now found projects to do elsewhere and cannot accommodate them.

AryaStarkWolf Fri 10-Jul-20 16:30:06

you would think they'd be trying to help you out by actually paying for his services while he's out of work. YANBU at all

Mmmmycorona Fri 10-Jul-20 16:31:12

Don’t do it for them. I wouldn’t.

I provide a service and my sister once wanted my services at a fraction of the price and moaned when I asked for more (still less than I charge others). I asked her how she would feel if she was expected to go to work and not be paid the hourly rate she is used to.

LittleDonk Fri 10-Jul-20 16:33:39

They're CF, especially if it would require ongoing maintenance.

What's the diff between what you asked them to pay and the actual cost?

namechange30000 Fri 10-Jul-20 16:34:04

Your family are CFs

Spam88 Fri 10-Jul-20 16:36:30

Don't doubt yourself, they're definitely the cheeky/grabby ones. Family and friends always want freebies, but to not even expect to pay material costs is ridiculous, they're expecting you to pay it for them. And I agree with PP that given your current situation, it's disappointing that they don't want to pay the going rate to help out (although I appreciate they may not be able to).

If they can get similar cheaper elsewhere then just tell them to buy that 🤷‍♀️

OhCaptain Fri 10-Jul-20 16:39:29

I obviously don’t know what the product is but no you aren’t being U not to want to do it for free.

But am I right in saying that he was going to charge them full price originally? I have to say I think that’s a bit...off. I wouldn’t charge family full price for something!

MulticolourMophead Fri 10-Jul-20 16:40:25

You are NBU, they are being cheeky in expecting it all for free.

Logiclady94 Fri 10-Jul-20 16:42:04

@littledonk- lets just say a professional building and maintaining this service can charge a couple of £1000 to £3000 or they can use cheaper systems but DP would still need to do all the building and maintaining but they cost less overall (people who are wanting average products tend to go with this option) so can be charged anywhere between £500- £1000. DP has offered to do a product for each family member that wants one for a couple of hundred. No profit would be made at all, it would cover outgoings and we’d be breaking even to what we were on before he was employed so there would be no profit made.

He was doing the service but in a paid role but until he finds another paid role he is quite happy for his uses and skills to be given to family especially as they seemed really eager and he just never had the time before.

Now they are kind of making out that they weren’t that fussed and that they didn’t even really want it in the first place. They even mentioned no money but DP can do it as his experience. He has experience 7-8 years worth

OP’s posts: |
WhatKatyDidNxt Fri 10-Jul-20 16:42:56

YANBU they are cheeky fuckers. They are grabby, don’t engage with them anymore about this. They clearly want something for basically nothing

Logiclady94 Fri 10-Jul-20 16:45:57

@OhCaptain- no no he was never going to charge them full price, he was always going to do it for 50% of the going rate now he is offering to do it for a lot less. The full price is way way more than my family can afford I get that- think £1000 to £2000 a month if you wanted this person to maintain and do updates. He originally offered 50% family rates- now he has offered to do it for a couple of hundred and they still scoff sad

Like I say they even said what about it doing it for experience. He has a degree in it...

OP’s posts: |
Logiclady94 Fri 10-Jul-20 16:47:08

@OhCaptain- sorry I realised my OP makes it sound like he was going to charge them full price originally.

OP’s posts: |
Evelefteden Fri 10-Jul-20 16:49:34

They wanted it for free.

Tell them to piss off

neddle Fri 10-Jul-20 16:50:34

Sounds like a website to me.
They can make do with whatever they’re already using, buy one that suits their needs for £££ or be nice to your dh and pay £ for something custom made.

HollowTalk Fri 10-Jul-20 16:51:08

He needs to remove his offer immediately. If they do ask him to do it now then all of his goodwill has gone, hasn't it? He'd be doing it for no profit, which is tough when you need the money. They'd resent paying anything anyway. He should try to find other people who want that product or service who are prepared to pay a realistic amount.

back2good Fri 10-Jul-20 16:51:28

Your family sucks, OP.

I agree with the above poster: tell them to piss off.

ComDummings Fri 10-Jul-20 16:51:28

He should charge them full price, cheeky bastards

Cherrysoup Fri 10-Jul-20 16:52:03

No bloody way! So cheeky! I’d pay full price purely for the reliability of someone I know doing it. Tell them to sod off and get advertising so he can go self employed.

Disfordarkchocolate Fri 10-Jul-20 16:58:22

They are being cheeky. And there is nothing wrong with making a profit from family when the family are going to make a profit because of your work.

Tell them to jog onand good luck with the job hunt for your husband.

BeccaB1981 Fri 10-Jul-20 17:00:15

your family are being cheeky and absolutely ridiculous.

your DH can't pay mortage, car, electricity bills on goodwill.

even if he does it on materials only (i.e. his time) he could be doing paid work in that time.

you and DH should laugh off these crazy expectations to set the piss takers straight.

"oohh hahaha i thought that was a joke. why would DH work for free?"

or put it into terms they understand. say you work in a supermarket. if someone expects you to do something that will take 2 days of effort:

"sure, if you turn up to my job for 2 x 8hr shifts. because that's what you're expecting."

or if they want to lend £30, "sure, if you do 5hrs on shift at the supermarket for me".

because TIME is WORTH £££s.

your family are being utterly utterly piss takers to the extreme here.

MyOwnSummer Fri 10-Jul-20 17:00:20

For goodness sake WHY would you offer such a deal to such cheeky people? Their attitude stinks.

Sometimes in business you have to fire the customer regardless of how much they are prepared to pay, because they have already demonstrated that they are going to be a Grade A nightmare to deal with. If he's going to be on the hook for maintenance as well, this has the potential to be a massive loss maker for you financially plus the ongoing irritation of being on call constantly to go and fix whatever issue has arisen. And they won't appreciate it. They will whinge and moan and act like entitled douchebags.

Just don't touch it with a barge pole, no matter even if they offer full price!!

Soubriquet Fri 10-Jul-20 17:00:39

They are wanting it completely free and are pissed they can’t it.

Don’t let your dh drop the price anymore.

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