Name changed for this due to previous posts with outing info and not wanting recognised by family in case they are on here !
Fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable, I am feeling hurt and looking for some advice and opinions.
I am a health care worker, and throughout lock down I have had to work as usual. I have a three year old son who is usually at nursery on the days that I work.
My sister has an older son, aged ten now, and is a single mum. During her DS's preschool years, she was in a relationship, and as they both worked, I would have her DS every Tuesday and every second thurs - I would self roster my shifts to accommodate this. I loved having him. At that point I didn't have a child and thought this may be the closest I would get to my own child ! My sister relied heavily on our parents for child care too - she worked Monday to fri, and every week day I didn't have him, my elderly mother and father would have him. I wanted to ease the burden for them a little too.
My husband and I deliberately chose to pay for childcare as we didn't want to be beholden to anyone for regular child care, and don't really like asking for favours. There were also issues such as disagreements about nap times, dummies etc that arose and I didn't want the drama quite honestly. I have made it clear to my sister I am happy to take her DS whenever I can, during the week or weekends or overnight. I take him regularly to help her out (not during lockdown when she was working from home and we weren't allowed to see anyone) and also because I enjoy spending time with him and our two get on great.
Several times I have asked for a childcare favour and she has said no because she's going to try and get a hair appt or because her DS is going to her dads. I hate asking and my no means take liberties. I feel like I would change my plans to accommodate child care for her but there is no reciprocation. This has just happened again for the weekend. My husband is self employed and when work comes up, he needs to be able to take it and if I am on shift, and my sister won't help, there is no nursery or anyone else to fall back on! I almost feel like saying no next time she asks me for a favour but I feel I would be cutting off my nose to spite my face.
My sis is due back in the office soon, and I think will be asking me for child care help. Any advice ? I am angry and upset.
We go on holiday together with the wee ones so it's definitely not that we don't get on or the kids don't get on!
Now that lockdown has eased slightly, my husband is returning to work.
Our son should have been in nursery three days a week still as I had paid for an extended place over the summer. Nursery is still closed and we are struggling for child care. My sis is working from home. My husband has some work come in for sat am. I am working a 12.5 hr shift - I asked if she could help with child care and she said
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Upset and hurt by sisters lack of support with child care
92 replies
HairyPotteryaRotter · 09/07/2020 23:06
OP posts:
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