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To be upset my friends got me drunk

(114 Posts)
Kia123456 Thu 09-Jul-20 14:50:28

So this actually happened last summer but it's been playing on my mind lately.

Basically I was at a BBQ at a friends house and pretty much everyone was drinking. I'm not a big drinker and was sticking to soft drinks that night. No reason other than that's what I wanted to do. My friends were all drinking cocktails and they asked if I wanted them to make me some non alcoholic ones. Turns out they were alcoholic. I didn't realise as I couldn't taste the alcohol.
After about 4 or 5 I realised I was starting to feel drunk and confronted them. They confessed and we all ended up arguing. One friend in particular was quite nasty saying I was always boring and they just wanted me to have fun for a change.

I left and things have never been quite the same since.

I was upset because they broke my trust. I was my decision to drink or not and I don't think I should be considered boring because I don't want to get drunk.
Also, they had no way of knowning if I had another reason for not drinking. What if I'd been pregnant or on medication?

AIBU to still feel upset about this nearly a year later?

OP’s posts: |
Jellybean100 Thu 09-Jul-20 14:53:55

It’s a really shitty thing to do and I’d probably distance myself from these so called friends from now on. However I don’t think I’d still be upset about it almost a year later

curiousierandcouriser Thu 09-Jul-20 14:54:01

Of course YANBU! They broke your trust and there could have been serious consequences as you have rightly pointed out.

Would they feel the same about sneaking pork to a Muslim or meat to a vegan?

bestbrowsintown Thu 09-Jul-20 14:56:02

I'd find some different friends tbh. They're arseholes.

BlingLoving Thu 09-Jul-20 14:57:03

Oh my god.

OP, this was NOT okay. And these people are NOT your friends. I'm sorry. how is secretly feeding someone alcohol any different to deciding to ignore the reality of a friend's allergy by adding almonds to a sauce?

I'm really sorry you have experienced this but I can only say you need to cut these people off immediately. They don't respect you, they, in effect, drugged you without your permission, and they clearly don't value your personality if they wanted to change it.

I'm sorry.

AryaStarkWolf Thu 09-Jul-20 14:57:45

YABU to still be friends with people who would firstly spike your drink and then secondly call you boring when you confront them about it. Ditch those assholes and find people who have some respect for you

BlingLoving Thu 09-Jul-20 14:58:34

Just saw I said "sorry" about 10 times. haha. But honestly OP, it's because I do feel for you desperately. This is truly awful and I cannot even begin to imagine the betrayal you feel. It might seem like my reaction is OTT but honestly, to me this is as bad as slipping rohypnol to someone in a bar or purposefully giving them things they're allergic to or that they have religious issues with. It's basically abuse.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion Thu 09-Jul-20 14:59:47

YANBU I would have been fucking raging. They spiked you!
Although I'm always surprised when people can't taste alcohol in things. I used to be quite a big drinker and I can always tase alcohol.

SarahTancredi Thu 09-Jul-20 14:59:48

What horrible "friends"

Thats disgusting. Who says you need alcohol to have a good time. Its always people who get absolutely plastered every opportunity and embarass themselves or everyone else that usually say that crap. What they really mean is they know to the sober person they look ridiculous and selfish for ruining every occasion with drunken nonsense and don't want to be pulled up on it.

There's reasons people don't drink and they do not need to be justified to everyone else .

edwinbear Thu 09-Jul-20 15:00:28

Wow - these aren't friends OP, they took a huge gamble with your health to give themselves a laugh. As you say, you could have been pregnant, or taking antibiotics etc. I'm not sure I could forgive 'friends' for that.

TenShortStories Thu 09-Jul-20 15:01:17

So they spiked your drinks, essentially? The reason is that you are boring, which is a legitimate justification in their minds, and not at all worthy of an apology. They really aren't nice people at all, sorry OP sad

labyrinthloafer Thu 09-Jul-20 15:01:22

YANBU, that is a violation of trust and they are not your friends.

Do you still see them? I wouldn't, personally.

You are still upset because it was an unpleasant thing and also because a group did it, and no apology when you confronted.

I'm sure you're not boring, although to be honest you are allowed to be!

Hwory Thu 09-Jul-20 15:02:47

That's horrible.

Complete breach of trust!

I hope you've cut them out of your life. You deserve friends that know you're enough sober.

KitchenConfidential Thu 09-Jul-20 15:03:14

They are not your friends. They are absolute arseholes.

CuriousaboutSamphire Thu 09-Jul-20 15:06:48

I hope you aren't still working on the idea that they are your friends. They are selfish twats, especially the one, the others are hapless sheep at best, very weak characters!

The fact that you remain upset is a sign of just how badly they acted. There is no justification, no excuse, no way on earth any of them could have thought it was OK! Because it just is not!

Throckmorton Thu 09-Jul-20 15:07:44

Fucking hell! Had you, for example, been taking the common antibiotic metronidazole, they could have cause you serious injury doing this. What if you were an alcoholic in recovery? Or pregnant? Honestly, I would ditch these people, they are not friends. I would also tell them why, in no uncertain terms.

lotusbell Thu 09-Jul-20 15:08:03

I'd still be upset about this, no matter how long ago it was and I'd find other friends.
I don't really drink anymore, just don't massively enjoy it but I tend to avoid social occasions where there will be excessive drinking. Ok, I'm not massively sociable either, tbh! I get fed up with every social event revolving around booze and I know I'm thought of as boring because of it.
Some people find it hard to accept you dont want to drink. My hen party years ago was spoiled by two friends who couldn't accept I wanted a quiet meal and a few drinks and went ahead to make plans to go on to a club and get arseholed and thought as the night went on, I'd come round to the idea. It led to a huge row and I don't see either of them now.
Myself and my best mate both celebrated our birthdays in lockdown and hers was just a whole weekend of boozing basically.
Each to their own but not for me ta!

Cassilis Thu 09-Jul-20 15:10:01

Who the fuck is voting YABU?!

OP, I was all set to say that people need to take responsibility for their own alcohol consumption but they tricked you. That’s really sinister, they’re not your friends, dump the lot.

And 10% of voters on this thread are cunts.

Shoxfordian Thu 09-Jul-20 15:11:51

Are you still friends with them? They're twats

justasking111 Thu 09-Jul-20 15:13:38

Wow spiking drinks if just not on. I would have been mad too and I like to drink sometimes. If they find you boring find friends who do not.

SummerDayWinterEvenings Thu 09-Jul-20 15:15:39

Find different friends. These aren't yours.

SchadenfreudePersonified Thu 09-Jul-20 15:15:41

to me this is as bad as slipping rohypnol to someone in a bar or purposefully giving them things they're allergic to or that they have religious issues with. It's basically abuse.


And how dare they assume that because you aren't drinking you aren't having fun? Not everyone needs a drink to enjoy themselves.

Whether you drink alcohol or not is your decision and no-one else's. You don't have to explain or apologise, any more than if you said "No thank you" to a dessert trolley.

I wouldn't have anything more to do with them. What if the next time they decide to do something even more stupid to get back at you for not thinking their prank is hilarious?

There are other friends out there.

Beautiful3 Thu 09-Jul-20 15:16:03

That's really bad. What if you were pregnant or on medication? Or an alcoholic? Alcohol with some medicines can be fatal! Your friends said you're boring for not drinking. That clearly means that they dont like you. I'm tee total by choice. If that happened to me, the I wouldnt bother with them again. Tou cant trust them to give you a drink. What if you drove home after a couple?!

SummerDayWinterEvenings Thu 09-Jul-20 15:16:22

You could of been pregnant or avoiding alcohol due to medication or planned on driving later etc. Ergh! I would delete the lot of them.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter Thu 09-Jul-20 15:18:49

YANBU. Your friends are scum and I would never speak to them ever again. What if you had tried to drive? they could have killed someone. I'm so sick of this tired old crap that if you arent trashed youre "boring". There is nothing interesting about slurring, vomiting and talking garbage and then blacking out. I hate that our culture is so messed up that people get pressurised to drink now. Its pathetic.

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