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To think this is unfair to my DD14 (school work)

(139 Posts)
PurpleThistles84 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:07:15

I had a call last night from my daughters teacher to ask why my DS has not joined a google classroom for one of her subjects. Long story short, she had been missed off the invitation email to join the classroom and so she wasn’t aware there was even a classroom on it.

Her teacher confirmed she had been missed off the email invitation but followed it up with ‘she could have asked’ and now expects her to complete any missed work and assignments over the summer holidays.

My DD has really struggled with online learning and has problems with depression (pre lockdown), she is awaiting an assessment from the child mental health services team. She is going to be devastated, as she was so relieved to reach the summer holidays.

This teacher is the same teacher for one of her other classes and acknowledged that she had been doing all her work for that class. I don’t understand what took him nearly 6 weeks to phone me and let me know about this.

My DD moved from S2 to S3 whilst in lockdown and they have only just been given their new timetables despite S3 classes starting online 6 weeks ago. This class is one of the new ones from moving into S3.

She is going to have to do the work as I don’t want her to be behind once school resumes but AIBU to think that this should have been picked up way before now and to feel the teacher is passing the blame onto my daughter a bit? He also said that the children can’t get hold of him by email, only by private comment in the classroom for their class, so I’m not sure how he thinks ‘she could have asked?’

OP’s posts: |
labyrinthloafer Thu 09-Jul-20 07:11:22

YANBU and I would calmly escalate this to senior leadership. You don't need to get angry, just point out she has done all the work she was aware of but was never invited to this lesson, and suggest the school needed a more robust checking system.

Your daughter could have asked. But the school should still have a register approach, as someone missing everything needs following up quickly.

SnuggyBuggy Thu 09-Jul-20 07:14:42

Sounds like arse covering

HelloDulling Thu 09-Jul-20 07:15:55

That’s ridiculous. How would she know to ask? She didn’t know she was missing it, because he didn’t add her in the first place.

It’s a mistake, which can happen, but it’s definitely his fault and he needs to own it.

copingnotcoping Thu 09-Jul-20 07:16:09

It would be unfair if it was intentional but the work still needs doing but it's irksome yes

Xiaoxiong Thu 09-Jul-20 07:17:52

This is really unfair and that teacher should be apologetic, not putting the blame back on her.

DS1 was left off a team on microsoft teams, but of course we didn't know because it didn't appear on his list of teams. We got an email after the first session saying he hadn't accessed the first piece of work, so they had obviously done some kind of tracking/registration. When they realised he had been left off the list they apologised to us. Luckily he had only missed the first session so easily caught up.

PurpleThistles84 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:20:18

I have a lot of respect for teachers and have raised my children to have respect for them too, trying to homeschool in lockdown has only increased my respect for them to be honest. Mistakes do happen and all this online learning is as new to the teachers as the children so I’m not annoyed about the mistake in itself, these things happen.

I guess ultimately I’m just sad for my DD who worked so hard to get everything done so she could relax over the holidays. She is on day 5 of her first ever migraine, I’m dreading having to tell her she needs to do the work. Still there are a good few weeks to get it done in I suppose.

OP’s posts: |
labyrinthloafer Thu 09-Jul-20 07:20:31

@Xiaoxiong has outlined exactly what should have happened

labyrinthloafer Thu 09-Jul-20 07:21:51

I have respect for teachers too, but I would still escalate (politely)

TW2013 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:22:53

I would be escalating it and also explaining her mental health and asking the tutor to prioritise the work in terms of that which is essential for moving forward to GCSE and that which would be useful to cover. I presume it is a GCSE subject.

larrygrylls Thu 09-Jul-20 07:24:42

You are making the classic mistake normally made by students. The work is not for your daughter’s teacher’s benefit but for hers.

I don’t understand why your daughter did not realise why she was missing a class and ask a friend.

The teacher made a mistake in taking 6 weeks to note your daughter’s absence but, with very variable engagement, I imagine monitoring is v hard.

I would ask the teacher what work is absolutely necessary to progress and get your daughter to do it.

PurpleThistles84 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:27:46

It is a GCSE subject yes, a science subject. The school is already aware of her mental health and have been understanding in that during the Easter holidays I requested my DD to be given a break from the school work whilst I helped her work on organising and prioritising, adapting to this new way of school. She really has done so well, despite suffering badly with what I suspect is PMDD, same as myself. She was started on the mini pill in an attempt to level out her moods a month ago and it has been helping. This will just really knock her back.

Thanks for the advice, I will escalate as suggested.

OP’s posts: |
DollyMixtureLulus Thu 09-Jul-20 07:27:53

It’s the summer holidays in Scotland.... and certainly not the done thing for teachers to be contacting pupils at night during the holidays.

PurpleThistles84 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:30:45

Why would she realise she was missing a class @larrygrylls? She chose her classes some months ago for her GCSE’s then with the coronavirus arriving and having to adjust to home schooling with google classroom which is in itself rather confusing with so many classes on it, is it really hard to understand why she would not have noticed?

Furthermore, she only started at the school in November last year as we moved house and hadn’t really managed to make any friends before lockdown.

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PurpleThistles84 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:31:33

@DollyMixtureLulus it was me the teacher contacted by phonecall.

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DollyMixtureLulus Thu 09-Jul-20 07:33:21

And no GCSEs in Scotland 🤨

millymollymoomoo Thu 09-Jul-20 07:33:53

I would politely be telling the teacher that your dd won’t be completing it over the summer

Sounds like your daughter needs a break and a break from school work !

larrygrylls Thu 09-Jul-20 07:37:02


She is 13 or 14, not 5. She has chosen subjects to study and needs to take ownership of them (and you could even have helped her!)

Schools faced a massive challenge with Corona and blaming them is both wrong and will get you absolutely nowhere.

What do you want the resolution to be? If the teacher gets told off (which they probably won’t given the circumstances) it will not help your daughter.

PurpleThistles84 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:39:52

@DollyMixtureLulus I assume you are suggesting I am lying? Scotland has the equivalent of GCSEs. Here is the email the teacher sent me.

OP’s posts: |
Georgielovespie Thu 09-Jul-20 07:42:01

Ds2 is in year 9, for the science stuff they were set via online learning they were told right at the start that if they didn't complete the work it would be assigned as homework when they return in year 10.

This is because it is the foundation that they build on in year 10 so it isn't work they can miss.

This could be the case for your DD but my God how long did it take them to notice she wasn't completing the work? I have had 3 phone calls from school re year 9 Ds over lockdown. These were just welfare check ins, he has completed every piece of work set, is an outstanding student with a great attitude to learning and we still got 3 calls to make sure everything was okay!

I would look over the work to see what is expected of her, and see how manageable that is. Is there any other work being set over summer?

PurpleThistles84 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:43:42

@larrygrylls our children have also faced a massive challenge going into lockdown and learning a new way of schooling. I have been helping my DD (along with my other 3dc whilst looking after my 12 month old baby) since home schooling began.

As already stated in my OP my daughter will be doing the work, as I don’t want her to be behind her classmates when the schools start back. I actually don’t want anything to happen, other than the teacher to not try to lay blame at my DD’s feet.

OP’s posts: |
labyrinthloafer Thu 09-Jul-20 07:46:41



She is 13 or 14, not 5. She has chosen subjects to study and needs to take ownership of them (and you could even have helped her!)

Schools faced a massive challenge with Corona and blaming them is both wrong and will get you absolutely nowhere.

What do you want the resolution to be? If the teacher gets told off (which they probably won’t given the circumstances) it will not help your daughter.

This is a silly view, because if the pupil was deliberately missing it, then the parents needed to know too.

The teachers job is to provide the work, the pupils job is to do the work.

The pupil did not fail to complete their side of the bargain.

Plus this is a student that the school knows has another issue.

I am very supportive of teachers but the teacher got it wrong here.

Littlemeadow123 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:46:45

She was missed off the email list - teacher's fault.

She didn't ask but you can't expect forward thinking from teenagers like that. He should have emailed a lot sooner. Teacher's fault again. To make matters worse, he is trying to put the blame on to her. I would have a word with someone more senior.

labyrinthloafer Thu 09-Jul-20 07:47:25

I have abandoned apostrophes today it seems!

dontdisturbmenow Thu 09-Jul-20 07:50:03

I agree that at 14, she should have asked what was going in if indeed she has the same teacher for another class and has had video classes for that lesson.

They made a mistake but she has a part in it and shouldn't be made to consider herself a victim of injustice. The consequence is that she will have to do the work she missed.

It is a good lesson in life. You can't just wait in others to sort out problems even though it's their error. You are also responsible for finding out what's gone wrong.

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