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To be upset over this

(61 Posts)
inthedarkx Wed 08-Jul-20 01:54:28

My exes sister always puts my exes new baby ( well he's 1 now) as her profile picture on Facebook and never puts a pic of any of the 6 children my ex has with me.
My ex left me for another woman. It hurts that my children are not given same recognition in the family as his new child. I was with my ex 15 years. He was only with this new one 2 months before she was pregnant. I kept my exes sister on Facebook because I thought she might want to see pics of our kids as she lives in another country and doesn't speak English. When me and my ex were together she was nice to me ( we spoke via chat with translations) and now since he left me it's like I'm the enemy and him and his new woman with their baby are perfect.
It's like she favours this new child. Same with my ex really he gives more time to his new child than he does to my children

Sorry that was just a rant. Just upsets me. Feel like my kids don't matter anymore and I feel like just running away with them!

OP’s posts: |
Smallsteps88 Wed 08-Jul-20 01:56:42

Take her off Facebook. You don’t need to see that.

Aquamarine1029 Wed 08-Jul-20 01:57:45

You can't control her choices, but you can control what you look at that upsets you. Block her. Problem solved.

Anordinarymum Wed 08-Jul-20 02:25:49

You are not being unreasonable at all. You have a right to be upset but you have also been given a heads up on how the land lies with people you thought you knew. Look at it this way - they have done you a favour. Block all contact and don't allow pathetic little facebook people to hurt you.
You know it makes sense

Coronabegone Wed 08-Jul-20 02:50:47

Either stop using Facebook or take her off your friends list,

It's the only answer.

positivepixie Wed 08-Jul-20 04:17:43

Perhaps it’s time to focus on what you can control and what you can’t control. You can’t control your cheating ex’s behaviour and you have no control over his sister. Being wound up by her is a waste of your emotional energy, let it go (and block her from fb).

Yeahnahmum Wed 08-Jul-20 05:04:20


PhilCornwall1 Wed 08-Jul-20 05:15:06

Just don't use Facebook or if that's not possible, just don't be connected, follow her or be her friend, or whatever it is you do on there.

lljkk Wed 08-Jul-20 05:53:48

Does she see the new baby ever in person, did she ever put pics of your 6 kids on her fbook?

Atadaddicted Wed 08-Jul-20 05:59:19

Every thread you start is about your ex. Dozens in fact. Ranting and raving.

You need to move on

LockdownLump Wed 08-Jul-20 06:02:16

Just delete her.

fabulous01 Wed 08-Jul-20 06:23:51

Inwouldnt want someone to use my children as their profile picture.
Definitely block.

SnuggyBuggy Wed 08-Jul-20 07:14:39

It must be hard to be a single mum to 6 and you need to surround yourself with those who support you and limit your contact with those who are a negative influence.

Ughmaybenot Wed 08-Jul-20 07:17:33

I can see why this bothers you but looking at it from a positive angle, it’s weird AF to have someone else’s baby as your profile picture, and I’d hate someone using photos of my child like that, so 🤷🏼‍♀️ It doesn’t sound like you were ever close to the sister, so I’d just save the upset and delete her or, at least, unfollow her.

sst1234 Wed 08-Jul-20 08:08:34

OP you have so much time on your hands with six kids for this to bother you?

jessstan2 Wed 08-Jul-20 09:22:44

I'm sorry, inthedark, and can understand how hurtful this is to you.

It's possible your ex-SIL is a 'baby mad' woman which is why she puts a little baby on her profile but it doesn't mean she disregards older children in the family.

Don't fret. Facebook is a pain.

Livelovebehappy Wed 08-Jul-20 09:41:44

This happens when families split. Ex moves on, and takes his family with him; they move on too. It hurts, because when you’ve been with someone so long, you like to think that even though you have split, you had enough of a connection with their family to maintain that closeness following the split, but often they have the ear of your ex, and will just step back from you. It’s sad, but unfortunately that’s often how the dynamics of divorce and separation work.

ShineYourLight2 Wed 08-Jul-20 10:41:23

So many threads about your ex and his girlfriend. Honestly, you should move on as you sound obsessed.

GinDrinker00 Wed 08-Jul-20 10:46:42

Just delete her.
This obsession with your ex and his new bit is not healthy OP. You’re going to end up loosing your grip on reality.

inthedarkx Wed 08-Jul-20 10:47:40

@ShineYourLight2 I'm trying to move on but he won't let me.

OP’s posts: |
GinDrinker00 Wed 08-Jul-20 10:51:44

Just gone back on your posts and it’s been nearly two years since you spilt?
He has obviously let you get over him by moving on and having another baby with someone else. You really should of moved on by now Op. maybe get some councelising.

inthedarkx Wed 08-Jul-20 10:54:18

@GinDrinker00 he's moved in yet she's using the kids to control me. He is stopping me from moving on

OP’s posts: |
ShineYourLight2 Wed 08-Jul-20 10:54:51

Stop giving him power over you. You being upset about a picture his sister put up has nothing to do with him not letting you moving on. You are choosing at that point to keep dwelling on the relationship. If you are right, he is a pretty crap dad which is sad for your children. But having a mum who appears fixated on the new girlfriend and emotionally involved with his new life, can't be great either.

inthedarkx Wed 08-Jul-20 11:00:52

@ShineYourLight2 fixated on the gf? The gf lies to my ex that I've 'liked ' her profile pictures on Facebook using different accounts and then 'unliked them' because she knows my ex will come and give me abuse, and he does he comes sending text messages laughing at me for doing that when I haven't and she's lied even though she doesn't have the option for that public to do that. She knows he will give me abuse so she does it. She's not a nice person. He arranges to have kids and then changes the days last minute and admits it's because of his gf schedule. So we are living around her. I don't let him take the children anymore if he doesn't stick to his days and then he tried to kick my door in the other week where I had to call the police but he left before they came. Then he went around saying I'm stopping seeing the kids when he's the one who doesn't stick to anything
So it's not that I'm obsessed, it's that he's stopping me on moving on and his gf is being vindictive deliberately. I've tried to my housing association if they can move me to get away from it all and move in but because he's not being violent they can't help

OP’s posts: |
Costacoffeeplease Wed 08-Jul-20 11:09:25

So it’s not about sil at all?

Communicate with him re the children and access only and ignore everything else. Call the police for any harassment and forget about the girlfriend. They’re jerking your chain and you’re giving them the reaction they want, so don’t

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