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To cancel a wedding abroad that 40 guests have paid to attend?

(356 Posts)
Justwondering82 Mon 06-Jul-20 14:11:37

We are due to get married abroad in March next year. So far we have only paid the deposit for the venue, remaining balance not due until January. However our 40 guests have paid for their package holidays to attend, some have only paid deposits and some have paid full balances.

The only reason I want to cancel is because I don't think it's going to happen. With covid, the possibility of a second wave and social distancing etc I just do not realistically see how it will go ahead. We were having the wedding next year and buying a house the year after, but we've got enough sat in our savings for either a house deposit or the wedding. A house has come up that we love, it's in the perfect location and is just everything we want. We can't get the house and not cancel/postpone the wedding as we wouldn't have enough left in savings to cover both if the wedding was to go ahead. We would ideally want to postpone the wedding, but god knows the long term impact this will have on travel especially for a large group of us. We don't want to be impacted by social distancing either. I'd rather cancel and just see how the next few years pan out?

What do I do?

OP’s posts: |
DomDoesWotHeWants Mon 06-Jul-20 14:13:13

I think you need to offer to repay those who have paid and can't get their money back.

It would be immoral to cancel and leave them in the lurch.

kb16 Mon 06-Jul-20 14:14:51

I would be really annoyed if I was invited to a wedding and booked and paid for it for it to then be cancelled, not even the money they would have taken holidays from work etc

PhoneLock Mon 06-Jul-20 14:15:17

As above.

MiniCooperLover Mon 06-Jul-20 14:15:19

You will have to expect to pay for the people who have already booked

AnotherBoredOne Mon 06-Jul-20 14:15:24

You can't cancel like this. Sorry it will upset a lot of people.
Can you talk to them,?

TokyoSushi Mon 06-Jul-20 14:16:10

You can't leave 40 guests out of pocket because, if you're honest, as comes across from your OP, you've changed your mind and would really rather use the money on a house.

UK wedding that nobody has paid anything for, fine, do what you like. But if 40 people have booked and paid then it's already gone too far and you'll need to go through with it really.

Thingsthatgo Mon 06-Jul-20 14:16:27

I think that by March most things will be back to normal and your wedding can go ahead as planned. Unless your guests can all get a full refund you can’t cancel.

MaverickDanger Mon 06-Jul-20 14:16:38

If they cannot get refunds on their insurance, you would have to pay out what they have spent.

March is that far away, it’s difficult to say what it will look like.

If I’m brutally honest, I would be fuming if you cancelled & I had to deal with getting refunds etc, or take a holiday that I may not otherwise had taken. I probably wouldn’t attend if you rescheduled!

FudgeBrownie2019 Mon 06-Jul-20 14:16:44

Cancelling because of Covid is one thing. Cancelling because there's something else you'd like to spend your money on seems a little off. But those travelling will surely have travel insurance to cover their costs?

AldiAisleofCrap Mon 06-Jul-20 14:16:54

Is this a reverse? Nobody can be this self absorbed.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Mon 06-Jul-20 14:17:02

Totally agree with Dom.

If you don't, don't be surprised if you are totally ostracised by friends and probably family too. Not just those who lose out, but those who support them,

AryaStarkWolf Mon 06-Jul-20 14:17:09

Yeah agree with PPs, if guests have paid it would be really shitty to cancel now. Obviously if next year there's a big second (or 3rd) wave you will no choice but to cancel "just in case is selfish and if I were your friends, i wouldn't be going to the new venue wedding

Phillipa12 Mon 06-Jul-20 14:17:53

Your decision but it's a pretty shitty thing to do to your guests, and if I were one of them I certainly would not be attending the rearranged date, covid 19 or not!

bluebluezoo Mon 06-Jul-20 14:17:56

No you can’t cancel if people have paid.

Especially because you have changed your mind and would rather pit the money toward a house. It’s very likely several of your guests would also have things they also need to pay off.

Either see if you can get a bigger mortgage, beg or borrow, or put off the house for now.

Justwondering82 Mon 06-Jul-20 14:18:10

If the holidays can't go ahead due to covid everyone will get a refund. Surely this will be the case? We would cancel the wedding and lose the deposit but we'd leave the holiday booked to get the refund when it inevitably doesn't happen. I get there's a risk there but surely it's a small one.

Do people really think the wedding could go ahead? I wish I had a bloody crystal ball. It's our dream wedding, and everyone is so excited, but I'm just 100% convinced it won't be able to happen. If I knew it would all be ok I wouldn't cancel but I'll be gutted if we miss our dream house for the whole thing to be cancelled.

OP’s posts: |
Ploddingalong67 Mon 06-Jul-20 14:18:11

I am the guest in this situation. Wedding abroad in February next year, the bride and groom have cancelled but I've paid in full for my flights and hotel. As yet I'm unsuccessful in getting any of my money back... Safe to say I'm pretty pissed off

Ellisandra Mon 06-Jul-20 14:18:18

You’re a liar though. You say the only reason you want to cancel is Covid - you can’t see it going ahead, you’re concerned about distancing...

But then in the next breath, you’re giving the real reason - you've found a house you like, and that’s more important to you.

If I was one of your guests and you were honest with me about the house, I might understand and even not want my money back - just take my holiday there anyway. But any hint of your lies, and you’d lose my friendship.

I think you’re taking the piss if you don’t refund money lost.

CluelessBaker Mon 06-Jul-20 14:18:25

I don’t think you can cancel. If the wedding can’t go ahead because of Covid then people will be refunded, but they won’t if it’s just because you don’t want to continue with it. You would have to accept responsibility for refunding people’s money, and that would presumably be a big hit on your savings.

LolaSmiles Mon 06-Jul-20 14:19:05

You'd be really unreasonable to expect others to be out of pocket because you've changed your mind.
Equally, annual leave has to be booked early for certain times and your guests may well have had to adjust their requested leave around your wedding.

If it doesn't go ahead due to Covid restrictions then that's one thing and hopefully guests can claim on insurance, but not because you'd rather buy a house.

Lazypuppy Mon 06-Jul-20 14:19:07

I'd be so pissed off! At least if it is cancelled by covid your guests may be able to get their money back, they won't be able to get anything now.

At least when you do get married it won't cost as much as those 40 people probably won't come

LittleDonk Mon 06-Jul-20 14:19:09

No you can't, unless you're prepared to reimburse everyone.

It would be a different matter if it is officially cancelled due to covid I.e planes grounded, as people will be able to claim on insurance.

But you can't just change your mind and choose to cancel leaving people thousands out of pocket.

ButteryPuffin Mon 06-Jul-20 14:19:46

This is the consequence of a destination wedding like this. You are asking people to pay out a lot to come. I don't think it's on for them to have to absorb that loss because you have now decided your own financial priorities have changed.

Haenow Mon 06-Jul-20 14:19:51

You cannot do this unless you reimburse your guests.

fairislecable Mon 06-Jul-20 14:20:27

March 21 may be fine to go ahead with the wedding, in which case cancelling the booked trips will not give your invited guests their refunds.

If you have changed your mind and decided to buy a house instead I think that is a really mean thing to do to friends and family.

If you go ahead with the house plan, at least you know when you do decide to get married, there will probably only be you two attending and it won’t cost you much, as you will have upset everyone else.

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