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To be annoyed by a friend being annoyed at me!

(29 Posts)
decisionsdecision Sat 04-Jul-20 15:31:47

I have a 1 year old DS who I love dearly. He wasn't planned but we thank our lucky stars each day to have had him.
I have known my 'friend' for about 8 years we were really close for a while then I got pregnant. She stopped talking to me other than general bits and pieces and decided not to invite me to her wedding even though we had gone dress shopping together etc. I decided that she had just moved on with her life and I should too!
I'm still friends with her on snapchat and Facebook. She has been trying to get pregnant on and off for a year now and either the pregnancy hasn't happened or in some cases she has miscarried.
She recently put on her Facebook that she was seeing a specialist etc and she just didn't understand why she couldn't get pregnant, when she's not posting this she posts about her drinking until she's black out drunk, taking various drugs etc. I get annoyed with this because she's been told by said professional that if she wants to have a chance she needs to cut these things out for a couple of months at the minimum. At the end of the month there is always a post with a negative pregnancy test saying that not even professionals are helping etc. Whenever she has popped this on her social media I've checked in with her and let her know I'm here if she needs me etc. Normally she just ignores me but occasionally she's got angry and told me I rub it in her face if I put a picture of DS on my social media. I politely said that she was free to unfollow me and we haven't really spoken since. Recently she put a status up saying that it's sad that some selfish people can't understand how much they hurt her with their lives. I am hurt by this because I have only posted periodically and those are just general updates as most people on my social media are family who live away from the area and a few close friends.
AIBU to feel like this. I have always been there for her and helped her pick up the pieces but I feel that she is now becoming her own downfall especially with the drink and drugs!

OP’s posts: |
garbagegirl Sat 04-Jul-20 15:33:45

Sometimes relationships run their course.

HeeeeyDuggee Sat 04-Jul-20 15:34:13

Sounds like the beat thing you can do is unfriend her

WhySoSexist Sat 04-Jul-20 15:34:47

You could just make it so she can't see things that you post with your child in. She's being irrational but it would take you ten seconds, make zero difference to her life and help her with her own pain.

yellowfishestoyou Sat 04-Jul-20 15:34:57

Definitely unfriend her.

decisionsdecision Sat 04-Jul-20 15:38:00

@WhySoSexist I have in most cases hidden any posts on Facebook etc from her but she can still see my profile picture and cover photo which I've update 3 times since he was born! Once recently with a birthday photo of our household together. If I unfriend her she adds me back and will then message me asking what's happened!
It's an impossible situation. I unfriended her last night so will see what happens now!

OP’s posts: |
StrictlyAFemaleFemale Sat 04-Jul-20 15:47:03

Ugh the whole world revolves around her. Cant be doing with that drama. Just unfriend her - so many problems solved.

Aquamarine1029 Sat 04-Jul-20 15:50:37

Block her completely and move on. There's nothing more to do.

Merryoldgoat Sat 04-Jul-20 15:50:43

She’s hurting but she’s behaving like a child.

It’s entirely unreasonable of her to want you to refrain from acknowledging your child on SM.

Just unfriend her and accept you are no longer friends.

cameocat Sat 04-Jul-20 15:54:00

I would just block her. This has run its course.

Poptart4 Sat 04-Jul-20 15:56:11

Unfriendly and block.

It's not your fault shes having fertility issues. I get shes going through a hard time but expecting people to pretend their kids dont exist is bat shit.

You dont need friends like that.

Cheesypea Sat 04-Jul-20 15:58:13

Just block her op. You dont have any contact with this person in real life anymore.

Wfhwith3yearold Sat 04-Jul-20 16:00:44

You can put her on restricted rather than unfriend. Will reduce what she sees.

Pollypocket89 Sat 04-Jul-20 16:01:09

Hurt her with their lives?

If you have any doubt about removing her from yours, just read that back a few times and hear how illogical it is

LouiseTrees Sat 04-Jul-20 16:01:14

You know on Facebook you can post to all friends except x, y, z by changing settings on the post ?

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty Sat 04-Jul-20 16:08:46

Block her and move on

Chamomileteaplease Sat 04-Jul-20 16:13:46

I think this friend is in that overlap you get in venn diagrams - one circle is people who have fertility issues and one circle is people who are a pain in the arse. Sadly for you, she is both.

CluelessBaker Sat 04-Jul-20 16:14:01

It sounds like the friendship is done. She can’t live with your happiness, and you judge her for her life choices. It doesn’t sound like it’s worth fighting for. I would just let it fade.

decisionsdecision Sat 04-Jul-20 16:16:15

Thanks all. I blocked her last night following her status, it is a shame as we spent a lot of time together!

OP’s posts: |
Cloudfrost Sat 04-Jul-20 16:19:43

Doesn't seem like she adds anything positive to your life, friendship is hanging from a thread, cut it off and move on with your life. Live your life without her negativity

KarmaKamel Sat 04-Jul-20 16:20:37

I bloody love the block function. Best bit of SM.
Well done and be sure to block her on all platforms.

mbosnz Sat 04-Jul-20 16:22:07

I'd unfriend her, and leave her to it.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned Sat 04-Jul-20 16:24:59

Remove her from social media, unfriend her in real life and focus on your better friends. flowers

Tbh she sounds like she'd be a shit mum anyway. But that's not really the point.

Lindy2 Sat 04-Jul-20 16:25:55

You don't need this person in your life at all. Unfriend her and move on.

romeolovedjulliet Sat 04-Jul-20 16:27:11

okay, i'm being judgy but it is probably best she doesn't have a child while her life is chaotic with drink and drugs.it could be a potential disaster for a child and social services would be involved if her 'habits' took over.
your 'friendship' is the least of the problem,that can be ended but once a child is born it can't be sent back.

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