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AIBU - workmates never recognise my achievements

(50 Posts)
tympanic Wed 01-Jul-20 06:55:11

I realise this is probably going to sound petty but I’m finding it all pretty sad.

My work requires me to post my work/achievements on various social media platforms. Like my colleagues, the more we post the more interest we generate in the company. So when I see posts from my colleagues I like/share/comment on them. Sadly I notice they rarely do the same for me. I’ve even congratulated workmates before and been totally ignored.

Recently I posted an achievement on LinkedIn that had much broader philanthropic appeal. As a result it got a huge number of views and a heap of likes and comments from people across the world. I saw a significant number of workmates read the post. Not one liked or commented on it.

AIBU to be saddened by this? Why bother reading a post only to click away given the nature of our work?

OP’s posts: |
Starthere Wed 01-Jul-20 06:57:53

They are twats.

Dozer Wed 01-Jul-20 06:58:38

That aspect of your work sounds tedious and unhealthy! Seeking validation, ‘likes’, social media boasting etc.

If you like the job would just continue to do what’s required with respect to social media, and only ‘like’ and compliment colleagues’ items if you genuinely want to.

heartsonacake Wed 01-Jul-20 06:59:02

Do they like/comment/share on eachothers, and you’re the only one left out?

Or is it a case that they don’t like/comment/share on any of their colleagues?

tympanic Wed 01-Jul-20 07:07:12

Dozer

That aspect of your work sounds tedious and unhealthy! Seeking validation, ‘likes’, social media boasting etc.

If you like the job would just continue to do what’s required with respect to social media, and only ‘like’ and compliment colleagues’ items if you genuinely want to.

I don’t interact with posts I don’t genuinely like. Some of them I really don’t! But it’s hard to work out why so many would bother to read my latest post but not interact with it given it was mostly designed to raise awareness of charity work in impoverished countries. Yet they’ll love posts about best iso-dance challenges.

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Fanthorpe Wed 01-Jul-20 07:07:23

Are you disappointed with their lack of professional validation, which has a business impact, or personal validation which makes you feel they don’t recognise your achievements as a colleague? Is it a competitive environment, are they keeping your numbers down so they look better? Speak about it objectively to your manager, point out that if the team support each other it improves the reach of the message.

But if you feel your colleagues don’t value you or your contribution then you either need to explore why that might be on a personal level or in terms of the team ethos.

tympanic Wed 01-Jul-20 07:11:00

heartsonacake

Do they like/comment/share on eachothers, and you’re the only one left out?

Or is it a case that they don’t like/comment/share on any of their colleagues?

There are too many people to know if I’m the only one being left out. But I do see a lot of interaction among certain colleagues. The cool gang. If I hadn’t seen the number of views by workmates on LinkedIn I wouldn’t have given it much thought. But to see they had viewed but not bothered to give it a like seems odd.

OP’s posts: |
tympanic Wed 01-Jul-20 07:13:47

Fanthorpe

Are you disappointed with their lack of professional validation, which has a business impact, or personal validation which makes you feel they don’t recognise your achievements as a colleague? Is it a competitive environment, are they keeping your numbers down so they look better? Speak about it objectively to your manager, point out that if the team support each other it improves the reach of the message.

But if you feel your colleagues don’t value you or your contribution then you either need to explore why that might be on a personal level or in terms of the team ethos.

I’m disappointed by both. The environment is very competitive and can get really nasty. So I’m not surprised. Just sad.

I’ve spoken to my manager about not feeling valued in general before. He insisted I was. But it’s made no difference.

OP’s posts: |
Fairyliz Wed 01-Jul-20 07:19:09

Is this paid work or voluntary work? If it’s paid surely you are ‘valued’ when you get your pay at the end of the month?
I know I’m old but what does it add to your life to get a like/comment from people you are clearly not that keen on?

tympanic Wed 01-Jul-20 07:21:25

Fairyliz

Is this paid work or voluntary work? If it’s paid surely you are ‘valued’ when you get your pay at the end of the month?
I know I’m old but what does it add to your life to get a like/comment from people you are clearly not that keen on?

Would you be happy if you worked with people who slapped each other on the back for a job well done yet ignored you?

OP’s posts: |
crosser62 Wed 01-Jul-20 07:21:45

While it sounds very frustrating I find that no one actually knows what I do in my day to day work let alone my achievements where I work.
I don’t advertise it and I don’t really discuss it with any one, I didn’t know that this was a thing.
Is this just common to your profession?

Dozer Wed 01-Jul-20 07:26:09

It’s not at all surprising that often people prefer funny videos to worthy ones. Nor that colleagues nose at colleagues’ posts.

It just sounds like you want validation from colleagues and don’t think you’re part of the ‘in crowd’.

tympanic Wed 01-Jul-20 07:35:25

I get the feeling I was spot on when I prefaced my post with “I realise this is probably going to sound petty...”

I guess it’s easy to write me off as a validation seeker. I’ve been battling that inner voice myself, which is why I’ve come onto AIBU to seek insight. However, as I said before: “Would you be happy if you worked with people who slapped each other on the back for a job well done yet ignored you?”

Would this honestly not bother anyone else? Honestly?

OP’s posts: |
Milssofadoesntreallyfit Wed 01-Jul-20 07:36:23

Yabu, not you specifically, but the process itself is unreasonable. You are all being encouraged to be showy, boastful and braggy about your achievements and it doesn't look good.
Yes the work may be brilliant but it should speak for itself. By showing it if like that makes it less about the good work and more about you needing approval, praise etc it will make you look needy and demanding.

Dozer Wed 01-Jul-20 07:38:29

It’s not at all ‘petty’ to dislike a competitive, unfriendly working environment. It’s understandable.

If you want to stay there, better to accept that it’s like that and that you therefore can’t look to most colleagues for validation on social media or in real life.

Fanthorpe Wed 01-Jul-20 07:40:52

Unfortunately if the team is competitive and you’re not working out how to use that to your advantage then you are going to feel demoralised. Your manager has made it clear that they don’t see it as their role to coach you, (or they don’t know how to). You need to form a strategy, open up the conversation with the team about how the social media policy is working. Use being ‘hurt’ as a spur to improve or find work in an area where this sort of stuff isn’t relevant.

Life isn’t fair unfortunately, especially in the workplace, but you can find learning opportunities.

Dozer Wed 01-Jul-20 07:41:01

I wouldn’t ideally want to work in a field/role requiring lots of social media / comms.

Have worked in a range of environments, with friendly and unfriendly colleagues, and like most people much prefer the former!

If the issue is your field/role, would reflect on whether the good outweighs the bad for you. If it’s your specific employer you could look to move.

carlywurly Wed 01-Jul-20 07:41:51

It all sounds a bit like competitive virtue signalling.

tympanic Wed 01-Jul-20 07:43:42

I’ve asked people to ignore the social media aspect and consider this question:

“Would you be happy if you worked with people who slapped each other on the back for a job well done yet ignored you?”

OP’s posts: |
MartySouth Wed 01-Jul-20 07:46:39

People aren't answering the OPs actual question. Leaving aside the social media culture in the company the issue is, why do people not respond to OPs posts? Yes of course it's normal to be annoyed about it and I would wonder why too OP.

Fanthorpe Wed 01-Jul-20 07:47:48

Yes, of course. Cliques are always awful if you’re outside and want to be in.

yearinyearout Wed 01-Jul-20 07:49:20

Is this work an MLM scheme?

lottiegarbanzo Wed 01-Jul-20 07:52:22

The SM thing is part of the firm's marketing. Posters are getting distracted by the idea that it's the same as personal SM use. It isn't.

Clearly you're not part of the cool gang in the office. That might not matter if it's just social but it might if they're bigging each other up in such a way that management perceives them as more active and successful.

The important question is whether your manager and other, senior, managers value the work that you do. Is it visible and counted in the ways that actually matter within the firm and might lead to your promotion?

ScrapThatThen Wed 01-Jul-20 07:52:31

Don't lump everyone in together. There are probably people around whose actions you are overlooking. What can you do to build positive working relationships? What builds the back slapping bonds?

Alexandernevermind Wed 01-Jul-20 07:53:14

It sounds like a horrible environment. The only thing you can do is rise above it, try to stop caring and checking whether your bitchy and competitive colleagues are showing support. Concentrate on your own progress and success.

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