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Just found out I have to teach this...!

(218 Posts)
Wellthatwasabitshocking Tue 30-Jun-20 14:18:25

Just had an email from DD(Y6)'s school to say I'm to teach her the sex and relationships unit.
Ok, I'm not a prude but I was not expecting to have the sort of full responsibility of it.

I don't want to make a pig's ear of it or make her scared or embarrassed!

The really pathetic PowerPoint and worksheet they've sent doesn't mention contraception, doesn't even mention the penis going into the vagina.

I'm happy to discuss what needs to be discussed but DD is my quiet, shy one and I know she won't ask questions, she'll just be horrified!

AIBU to just teach the basics and then add things along the way?

I've heard that they'll do it again in Y7 and she's going to be taught it by teachers used to teaching it. Also,

AIBU to think that when they knew schools were closing they could have taught it then, before school closed?

Also, does anyone know of a book/website that might be more helpful for my DD?

OP’s posts: |
Wellthatwasabitshocking Tue 30-Jun-20 14:19:07

NC for this

OP’s posts: |
Norabird Tue 30-Jun-20 14:20:20

There's a series of books called "Let's talk about..." that is excellent for this.

Wellthatwasabitshocking Tue 30-Jun-20 14:21:36

Thank you @Norabird

OP’s posts: |
picklemewalnuts Tue 30-Jun-20 14:24:02

I think use the suggested materials because then you both have the excuse of ' school says we need to do this'. It will lead on to other questions, so don't worry to much.

Ask her every now and then, 'what do you think? Did you know that? I wonder why they want you to know that?' questions.

Try a few 'does that make sense to you?'

Then, 'I wonder if they left out anything important. Did you know that if it's not what you want, there are things you can do to make sure there isn't a baby?'

It won't be that bad, honestly! It's worth looking out for a puberty book though- I'm out of date, but someone will suggest one I'm sure.

DonLewis Tue 30-Jun-20 14:24:10

I think it's a much better chance to talk about this stuff properly rather than in a class of other kids! You can add in about enthusiastic consent, about how we're all different, about respect, about the fact sex is supposed to be fun (for adults!). Loads more scope to make it interesting!

Somanymistakes Tue 30-Jun-20 14:25:17

There are two books. One is more detailed and in depth than the other. Probably a good idea to get both so you have the prompts for when questions get asked.

Hohofortherobbers Tue 30-Jun-20 14:25:21

Maybe start with asking what she already knows? She probably has some knowledge for you to work on

CorianderLord Tue 30-Jun-20 14:25:21

My mum just gave me a book and told me to ask questions if I wanted. The book explained it and everything was fine. It's really not a big deal.

gotothecooler Tue 30-Jun-20 14:25:45

I always assumed parents taught their children this stuff anyway.

ajandjjmum Tue 30-Jun-20 14:26:33

Amazed your DD has made it to Yr. 6 without asking embarrassing questions at inappropriate times!

44PumpLane Tue 30-Jun-20 14:27:55

It seems strange to me that you'd rather school teaches this rather than you, in my mind this is a conversation that comes from the parent ... But my twins are 3.5 and in however many years time I may feel EXACTLY the same as you OP so I wish you all the luck in the world with it!

All I would say is that whatever you chat through with your daughter try not to appear shy or embarrassed as she'll take her lead from you. Good luck!

CurtainsOpen Tue 30-Jun-20 14:29:45

You don't " have " to teach anything.

Somanymistakes Tue 30-Jun-20 14:29:52

Don’t worry. Try your hardest not to be embarrassed. It’s important to normalise talking about stuff like this. My kid asked the questions
“How long does it take?”
“Do eggs have eyelashes?” (Due to the comic type illustration.

My hilarious answer to how long does it take
“Depends how long you’ve been married” just wasn’t appreciated as the comedic genius remark it obviously was.

Obviously I answered it seriously after that by the way. With a vague “ooh...depends...not long...different times....ask your dad”

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime Tue 30-Jun-20 14:31:06

You really don't need to go into too much detail at her age, no need to mention contraception in detail other than tell her there are ways to prevent pregnancy.

I teach ks3 biology, we cover changes in puberty, the male and female reproductive system, menstrual cycle, contraception, conception/ fertilisation and development of the baby as well as some other bits.

The key is to be confident, talk about it matter of fact ly, if she has any questions you aren't prepared to answer just tell her it's not age appropriate and you'll tell her when she's older. Ensure your parental controls are locked down as it's not unusual for students to Google to find out more.

I'm not familiar with the year 6 content but DD is year 5, she is aware of periods, body changes and development of the baby, there are some great animations on YouTube. She's seen videos or orangutans and horses giving birth on a documentary we were watching and seemed happy that human birth was similar but it was less distressing than watching the standard videos of women giving birth.

titchy Tue 30-Jun-20 14:32:10

But my twins are 3.5 and in however many years time I may feel EXACTLY the same as you

Many years?!!! Mine knew at 5...

ilovesooty Tue 30-Jun-20 14:32:58

Schools honestly didn't have enough notice that they would be closing to prioritise adapting the curriculum delivery to get this taught ahead of lockdown.

Floralnomad Tue 30-Jun-20 14:33:07

Shouldn’t you have already covered all this before yr 6 .

SummerDayWinterEvenings Tue 30-Jun-20 14:33:29

Good excuse. The school have said this -what do you know. What don't you know. Use technical terms such as penis and vagina. Ask away kid..............job done

Kelsoooo Tue 30-Jun-20 14:35:01

I think it's pretty crappy parenting to want to offload this onto teachers tbh.

Youre the parent, ensuring your child understands sex, emotion, consent, contraception etc is YOUR job.

ParkEndStreet Tue 30-Jun-20 14:35:00

There's a great Usborne book, think it's something like "what's happening to me?".

I let my daughter read and digest it but we talked about anything she wanted to ask

allfalldown47 Tue 30-Jun-20 14:36:24

Top tip.... when I had the 'talk' with dd & ds I told them both that if they had any questions they couldn't quite get out of their mouths, then they should write them down and leave them in my bag, drawer etc for me to find.
This really helped!

CurtainsOpen Tue 30-Jun-20 14:39:30

Wellthatwasabitshocking

Just had an email from DD(Y6)'s school to say I'm to teach her the sex and relationships unit.
Ok, I'm not a prude but I was not expecting to have the sort of full responsibility of it.

I don't want to make a pig's ear of it or make her scared or embarrassed!

The really pathetic PowerPoint and worksheet they've sent doesn't mention contraception, doesn't even mention the penis going into the vagina.

I'm happy to discuss what needs to be discussed but DD is my quiet, shy one and I know she won't ask questions, she'll just be horrified!

AIBU to just teach the basics and then add things along the way?

I've heard that they'll do it again in Y7 and she's going to be taught it by teachers used to teaching it. Also,

AIBU to think that when they knew schools were closing they could have taught it then, before school closed?

Also, does anyone know of a book/website that might be more helpful for my DD?

"I was not expecting to have the sort of full responsibility of it"

You are the parent. This IS your responsibility.

Etinox Tue 30-Jun-20 14:41:04

gotothecooler

I always assumed parents taught their children this stuff anyway.

Yep, can't fathom having the sort of relationship with my DCs where I'd rather a teacher told them the facts of life.

Tink2007 Tue 30-Jun-20 14:44:34

Wellthatwasabitshocking

Just had an email from DD(Y6)'s school to say I'm to teach her the sex and relationships unit.
Ok, I'm not a prude but I was not expecting to have the sort of full responsibility of it.

I don't want to make a pig's ear of it or make her scared or embarrassed!

The really pathetic PowerPoint and worksheet they've sent doesn't mention contraception, doesn't even mention the penis going into the vagina.

I'm happy to discuss what needs to be discussed but DD is my quiet, shy one and I know she won't ask questions, she'll just be horrified!

AIBU to just teach the basics and then add things along the way?

I've heard that they'll do it again in Y7 and she's going to be taught it by teachers used to teaching it. Also,

AIBU to think that when they knew schools were closing they could have taught it then, before school closed?

Also, does anyone know of a book/website that might be more helpful for my DD?

I find it absolutely bizarre to want teachers to be the ones to teach it rather than yourself. You’re her parent, it is your responsibility not the schools.

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