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Putting his hands around my neck... 3 strikes and you’re out?

(787 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Smellbellina Sun 28-Jun-20 22:03:54

He has done it twice so far, only left red marks. I have told people, they have asked I call police and given me details of a solicitor. I have a 3 strikes option in my head, this was strike 2, I have told more people this time (including his family) mine don’t like my position but accept it and have offered to pay for a solicitor.
3 strikes, AIBU?
I haven’t name changed for this as I don’t see why I should, it’s not my dirty secret to keep.

OP’s posts: |
Choice4567 Sun 28-Jun-20 22:04:52

Why? What’s your resining behind 3 strikes?

BlingLoving Sun 28-Jun-20 22:05:02

No. This should be a 1 strike and you are out situation. And if you are telling people this will anger him more. I would be very scared and leave now.

SilkandSandwiches Sun 28-Jun-20 22:05:09

I would say one and done, when it comes to his hands round you next. It is too dangerous.

Neolara Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:04

Why would you wait for a third time? If he's already done it twice, it is very likely he will do it again. Why take the risk?

eleventy3isthemagicnumber Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:08

3rd strike could be you dead.

Hands round neck is an instant end of a relationship.

OnlyFoolsnMothers Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:21

Why 3? Why not 5/8/10?
Honestly someone shows you who they are believe them! Nothing will change between 2nd-3rd time. Press charges and move on

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:37

Why would you wait for a ‘third strike’?

Next time could be fatal.

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:45

No. One strike.

I can’t understand your approach but I hope you access the help that’s available to you.

TheFlis12345 Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:46

Why the hell are you giving him 3 chances to kill you?!?

SuperLoudPoppingAction Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:50

It's a risk factor for further violence and even murder.
So ideally it would be better not to wait and see how much worse it gets.

But you could talk that through on a womens aid helpline. You deserve support and a proper risk assessment.

HotMessTryNotToStress Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:53

Hi OP,

I'm sorry to hear this has happened. I really don't think you should wait for a 3rd time. This is abusive behaviour and there is every chance if it happens a 3rd time he could kill you.
Please leave now don't wait any longer.

goodnessidontknow Sun 28-Jun-20 22:06:56

Putting his hands round your neck should be a non negotiable 1 strike and your out. Why do you feel he deserves further chances to hurt you?
Please make sure you are safe and get help to leave.

Smellbellina Sun 28-Jun-20 22:07:09

I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking. I have a nagging feeling (I don’t want to listen to) that I’m wrong.

OP’s posts: |
Russellbrandshair Sun 28-Jun-20 22:07:12

OMG NO. He should be out after one strike. This is horrible. He is an abuser. Get out OP.

StopGo Sun 28-Jun-20 22:07:13

If the third strike is your death, then what? Report him and/or get out now.

DrWAnker Sun 28-Jun-20 22:07:19

Leave him now. Or as soon as possible.
The next time he could kill you.
Why do you stay?

sandstorm13 Sun 28-Jun-20 22:07:24

Absolutely not. He was lucky to have a second chance. You know this is wrong, you have spoken to people. He will alienate you and slowly reduce you to a shell of yourself. Or kill you. Go. Go Now.

LaszlosHat Sun 28-Jun-20 22:07:47

Why wouldn't/ didn't you leave at 1?

Carandi Sun 28-Jun-20 22:08:06

If he's done it twice he obviously likes it and will do it again. Don't give him the chance to kill you. Twice was once too many.

AliasGrape Sun 28-Jun-20 22:08:15

Why 3? The next time could kill you.

Why are you giving him more chances? It’s incredibly dangerous and extremely abusive behaviour. And I can’t imagine that’s all he does?

MarkRuffaloCrumble Sun 28-Jun-20 22:08:16

No, no third opportunity - that could be the one that kills you. Please, don’t stick around to find out. This is one of the key indicators police will use to assess whether he’s dangerous. He is. flowers

AutumnLeavesSeptember Sun 28-Jun-20 22:08:25

You don't deserve to be assaulted ever - let alone 3 times! This is so dangerous @Smellbellina. You need to find a safe way to leave. Have you got DC or could you go to stay with friends or family tonight?

user12699422578 Sun 28-Jun-20 22:08:43

One strike.

You're just giving him the opportunity to murder you.

Dragonsanddinosaurs Sun 28-Jun-20 22:09:03

Please don't wait for him to do it again. He will, and he may really injure, or kill you next time. Imagine this was someone you loved, that had been strangled twice, what would you be telling them?

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