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My mum upsets me on my birthday every year

(66 Posts)
Imrubbishatuserables Sun 28-Jun-20 19:10:12

so I know this year is different and we are at home.. but we have been sat around all day doing nothing. I don't feel special. Yes I am 31 and a single mum but every year she makes out like I'm being a dick! I cooked breakfast for everyone this morning. (My mum, step dad, my son, my sister & her partner & me) so we were just sat in the living room. They were looking at old photos in the other room. I don't want to look at on my birthday cos they have my nan and grandad in who are not with us anymore and only yesterday she told me my nans sister in law passed away the other week.. (couldn't go to funeral anyway because of lockdown) so they upset me. Then the football went on in the living room so I said I was having half hour to myself in the bedroom upstairs and she starts stirring shut with the family saying I'm being stroppy. When I wasn't. I just didn't want to listen to the football. I don't live with them.. I live on my own but 20 mins away and I don't drive. Last year we were away and got told that we had to go back to the hotel instead of staying out for dinner and drinks. The year before I stayed away from the family and spent the day doing what I wanted on my own. As it makes me happier

OP’s posts: |
PinkiOcelot Sun 28-Jun-20 19:26:10

Why don’t you just go home? I would.

WildfirePonie Sun 28-Jun-20 19:27:22

Yes, just go home and celebrate your birthday the way you want in future.

Happy Birthday!

VettiyaIruken Sun 28-Jun-20 19:29:20

Go home.
You already know it's going to be shit.
Much better to be in your own home with your child.

TheNewSchmoo Sun 28-Jun-20 19:30:11

Happy Birthday.

However, you do sound rather childish. You're 31 not 13.

Shinyletsbebadguys Sun 28-Jun-20 19:35:04

I would say stop bothering with them on your birthday. I have no problem with adults celebrating their birthdays but you are passively waiting for them to change and do something against character. It isn't really their responsibility. Plan something you want to do next year.

slipperywhensparticus Sun 28-Jun-20 19:37:17

Yeah I wouldn't want to spend my birthday with football fans either

Just say you have plans

Sparklesocks Sun 28-Jun-20 19:38:32

It doesn’t sound like a great birthday, why are you cooking breakfast for everyone else on your bday? Seems a bit unfair.
I think you should start being firmer about how you spend it, next year do what you choose rather than what’s expected.

Akea Sun 28-Jun-20 19:39:30

Happy Birthday! cake wine
I'd go home too armed with sweets, drinks and netflix.

SingaporeSlinky Sun 28-Jun-20 19:43:54

You just need to take control if they are always a bit crap. Did they get you cards and presents? Do you make an effort for their birthdays?
Why did you go round and then make everyone breakfast when you don’t even live there? Why not just ask “who’s going to make my birthday breakfast then?”. And then tell everyone you’d like to go for a picnic or whatever it is you want to do (and can in current circumstances).

Don’t keep putting yourself in that situation, and next year, tell them you’re making your own plans with friends, or just you and DC, because they don’t make any effort when you spend it with them.

YouCanBeMyWingmanAnyday Sun 28-Jun-20 19:53:12

FFS you are 31 stop looking at others to affirm your happiness. You knew your mum would be like this and yet you still put yourself in that situation. Go home either spend the rest of the evening watching a great movie and having a glass of something you like or call/zoom/FaceTime someone who will have a laugh with you. BTW happy birthday cakewinethanks

gobbynorthernbird Sun 28-Jun-20 20:04:43

You actually went and sat in a bedroom that isn't yours, in a house you don't live in, rather than go home? That's kinda ridiculous and I can see why people thought you were having a tantrum.

jessstan2 Sun 28-Jun-20 20:07:02

Go home.

Not everyone makes a big thing of birthdays, your family isn't unusual in that. There's no point in you hanging about there, sulking.

AllsortsofAwkward Sun 28-Jun-20 20:07:13

I'm 33 so only a 2 years old but you sound immature just go home.

Thingsthatgo Sun 28-Jun-20 20:09:31

I’m confused as to why you are all in the same house. Are you not in the UK?

dementedpixie Sun 28-Jun-20 20:10:56

do you need them to drive you home? Don't spend your birthday with them if it makes you unhappy

dementedpixie Sun 28-Jun-20 20:13:22

Although you shouldn't all be in the 1 house indoors if you don't live together anyway

1busybee Sun 28-Jun-20 20:13:50

I don’t think she can go home because she can’t drive and would have to get them to drive her??!! Happy birthday sorry it’s rubbish just note to self to do something on your own next year!!

NancyPickford Sun 28-Jun-20 20:14:43

You're 31. Go and have a nice lock down birthday on your own. They sound like ignorant swine, so stop looking to them for providing your joy and happiness.

GinDrinker00 Sun 28-Jun-20 20:18:43

Go home then? Issue solved.

Macncheeseballs Sun 28-Jun-20 20:18:56

They sound horrible, happy birthday

BackforGood Sun 28-Jun-20 20:20:33

You actually went and sat in a bedroom that isn't yours, in a house you don't live in, rather than go home? That's kinda ridiculous and I can see why people thought you were having a tantrum.

This ^

Nor do I understand, why you would go round to someone else's house, to cook them all breakfast confused

Nor do I undertand why, at 31, you are looking for them to create some special niceness for your birthday. (Not this year of course, but usually) why do you spend it with them, if you feel your Mum spoils it each year ? confused

So, yes, YABU to not take charge of celebrating your birthday the way you would like to.

dementedpixie Sun 28-Jun-20 20:21:13

If she cant drive she might be reliant on one of them to give her a lift home

Maureenthecat Sun 28-Jun-20 20:26:45

Do I smell burning martyr?

Did they ask you to cook the breakfast? Did they promise you a party?

As others have said, I’m sorry your family are a bit rubbish and disappointing on your birthday, but as an adult and a parent just do what pleases you. Have a good evening xx

HollowTalk Sun 28-Jun-20 20:28:12

Get a taxi home and ask the driver to stop at the off licence on the way. Bottle of wine, some chocolates, something good on TV. That's what you need. Happy birthday!

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