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To feel upset by this

(11 Posts)
NameChange2306 Sun 28-Jun-20 18:57:43

My parents live 5 hours away by car. We haven’t seen them in over 5 months because of Covid and lockdown. Obviously restrictions are being lifted on staying overnight etc on 4th July.
We are all meant to be going to stay in a self catering cottage in a rural part of the UK near to the coast at the end of July.
I’m really on edge at the moment with everything going on and I keep worrying it won’t go ahead because the rates will rise again over the next few weeks and we’ll be back to square one again.

Anyway I said I’d like to see them the weekend of the 4th of July or the week after, so that we don’t ‘miss the opportunity’.
They then said they want to just wait until the holiday and we should focus on that instead.
I really don’t understand it. There are a few commitments and appointments they have coming up over the next couple of weeks, but I’m really worried that we will miss the boat and they won’t get to see their grandson again for another however many weeks or months. I thought they’d be jumping at the chance to see us straight away. Particularly DS who is only 2 years old.
They’re not shielding and are in late 50s/early 60s..

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rawlikesushi Sun 28-Jun-20 19:04:36

I don't know op, except that my parents are a similar age and plan things ages in advance and can't cope with any deviation from those plans.

They're currently fully focused on the holiday at the end of July and didn't expect house guests before then I guess. Are they both still working too?

Maybe the medical appointments suggest some health concerns?

NameChange2306 Sun 28-Jun-20 19:08:44

@rawlikesushi my dad is still working.

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Daftodil Sun 28-Jun-20 19:21:12

I'd be hurt by this. And I agree, 4th July is probably the best time to see each other as you will have been in contact with fewer people then than a few weeks after lockdown eases. What are their reasons for declining and have you explained your reasons for wanting to meet on 4th July? Is it the distance? Would they be coming to you or you going to them? Do they not want to travel? Do they not want to host?

ECBC Sun 28-Jun-20 19:53:13

I’d feel the same too OP. We had to cancel some family plans yesterday due to the weather as our plans were to remain socially distanced and outside. We called the family and asked if we could do something else instead (while still sticking to the rules) and they cancelled completely and said they’ll see us next week instead. I was a bit hurt they’d so readily cancelled when we could potentially have found another way to meet. Sorry a long winded way of saying I understand.

lovemelongtime Sun 28-Jun-20 20:49:30

yes but its also a 5 hour trip each way - why not jsut wait a couple more weeks and enjoy your holiday together. Not too big a deal in the scale of things.

NameChange2306 Sun 28-Jun-20 21:35:44

@lovemelongtime I’m just worried there will be another spike where we are or where they are and then we’ll be in a local lockdown like Leicester is looking at now. Then we won’t be able to go at all.

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NameChange2306 Sun 28-Jun-20 21:36:06

@lovemelongtime and then we’ll all miss our opportunity.

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Youngatheart00 Sun 28-Jun-20 21:39:01

Were you proposing to travel up there, or asking them to travel down to you?

I think there’s still a lot of nervousness about the lockdown easing. People have got somewhat ‘institutionalised’ in their smaller worlds and it seems daunting to think of the future.

Looneytune253 Sun 28-Jun-20 21:46:35

If you were planning on doing all the travelling then I can't see the harm. Mind they might still want to keep their distance (as per guidance) so they might not see the point as it'll be a brief visit if you're doing 10h of travelling in one day.

KaTetof19 Sun 28-Jun-20 21:50:29

I voted YANBU just because my mother is chomping at the bit to see my daughters.

I can't imagine her asking us to wait until almost a month later if we were allowed to meet up.

We're holding on to see if Wales can start to travel from 6th July and really hoping recent events (idiots brawling on the beach being one) don't ruin things for the rest of us.

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