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To not allow 8 year old a phone?

(18 Posts)
ThePittz Sun 28-Jun-20 17:56:56

Ds is almost 9 and desperate for a mobile phone. It seems like all his class friends have them and are frequently showing them off. Lockdown has been tough on ds and his friends chat in WhatsApp groups etc, I convinced his older brother (14) to let youngest use his WhatsApp occasionally to catch up with his friends but it often creates more arguments when eldest wants his phone back or youngest is looking through his messages. Eldest ds didn’t get a phone until starting secondary school but I’m starting to wonder if I’m being old fashioned and it’s the norm now. Doesn’t help that two of my friends (with same aged dc) posted on Facebook recently their children’s birthday presents, which were phones. He still seems so very young to me, am I behind the times?

OP’s posts: |
Anney28 Sun 28-Jun-20 17:59:56

My son has a phone - second hand iPhone. He is just turned 9. But he does not have a sim in it. It’s used mainly for videos and photos (he likes to do this whether we go and it means they are all in once place and not taking up memory on my phone. He also uses it for games and occasional face timing. But obviously he cannot text or ring anyone as he doesn’t have a number. In this case it’s not much different to his iPad but a phone is easier to take out with us.

HeeeeyDuggee Sun 28-Jun-20 18:00:44

I won’t let my 8 yr old have one. He claims I’m ruining his li fee and everyone else in his class has one but 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think it’s too young. He doesn’t need to call or message anyone. He can arrange to video chat his friends via zoom on the iPad or my phone and also chats to his friends over the Xbox or pc during his screen time.

No phones here until secondary

onlinelinda Sun 28-Jun-20 18:01:37

Follow your instincts. "But all my friends..." etc-they are programmed to say that. You are them.

DaphneFanshaw Sun 28-Jun-20 18:02:12

It totally your decision as a parent,
My dts had phones from the age of 9 as they were going to Labs on their own and I wanted a text to know if they got there ok.
We completely monitor and limit their screen time and just use it as a way to communicate.
What ever you decide will be fine, children who don’t have phones won’t suffer in any way nor will children who do have phones. Don’t feel pressured to make a decision you feel uncomfortable with.

DaphneFanshaw Sun 28-Jun-20 18:03:01

Clubs on their own, not labs.
grin
My dts aren’t Walter and Jesse. wink

Needschoolhelp Sun 28-Jun-20 18:03:37

I have in when my daughter turned 9(in February) so she could chat to all her friends via WhatsApp. There's a SIM card in it but no credit and all the usual internet blocking etc from sites apart from what she usually goes on the laptop.the phone was given under the understanding that I could spot check it at any time and so far we haven't had many issues with it. She chats away to her pals and I can hear them laughing and joking together. She's got a lot of anxiety issues and I think without the chats over lockdown things could have been quite grim for her. X

DaphneFanshaw Sun 28-Jun-20 18:05:13

It’s been really handy in lockdown as they are home alone for around 20 minutes to half an hour and I wanted them to text to Say they got in.

Sometimeswinning Sun 28-Jun-20 18:06:30

Well if he's already using them and on WhatsApp then he's already half way there! Just limit his time if it worries you. I'd be more concerned he can't talk to his friends at the moment.

GrannyBags Sun 28-Jun-20 18:07:05

DSs primary school allowed them to walk home alone in Y6, so the mums decided that it was a good idea for them to have one then. The kids constantly said ‘everyone else has one’ but we knew it wasn’t true as 17/25 of the mums were in on it and it had been agreed and toasted to with Prosecco on a night out!

bridgetreilly Sun 28-Jun-20 18:08:08

Nope. But I also wouldn't let him use his brother's phine. That's not fair on either of them. If he's borrowing a phone, it should be yours.

TempestHayes Sun 28-Jun-20 18:09:10

My kids have cheap phones that can do no more than play a couple of simple games and use Whatsapp. They have therefore been able to communicate with friends and with relatives thanks to these.

They're locked from browsing. It's basically a little Whatsapp machine and they just talk to the handful of kids they know.

Harmless.

Some thrust a fully functioning iPhone at their kids, sure that's a bit weird, but just letting them have Whatsapp on a locked-down phone is worlds away.

OddestSock Sun 28-Jun-20 18:09:29

We've allowed our 8 year old to have one but only because of lockdown. She needed to have some way of keeping in touch with her friends that wasn't through messages between us and their parents. She only has it at 8 due to lockdown though, she wouldn't have been able to in normal circumstances xx

Didiplanthis Sun 28-Jun-20 18:16:41

My 8 yr old DT no way but they are very emotionally immature and have zero self regulation or impulse control. My dd 10 has a reconditioned I pod touch linked to DH apple account so she can message and face time friends during lockdown. She asked me if she can use the browser which has our usual wifi blocks on. She also asks me before she facetimes. It's a good compromise. The novelty is wearing off now and usage is decreasing !

Ionacat Sun 28-Jun-20 18:29:04

No. My DD who is 9 has been using my phone during lockdown to talk to her friends via group messages and almost all of her friends are also using their mum’s phones. (Seems to consist mostly of sending emojis and gifs.)

DaphneFanshaw Sun 28-Jun-20 18:30:46

We got the dts really cheap phones and told them if they could prove to us that they could look after them then we would look in to getting them more expensive electronic devices.
We will have to get them tablets or laptops at some point soon as they progress through high school.
They can be a good way of teaching children some sort of responsibility and awareness when using the internet.

DaphneFanshaw Sun 28-Jun-20 18:31:35

Yy, Iona (great name btw). All the emojis and acronyms that I don’t understand.

formerbabe Sun 28-Jun-20 18:33:00

My DD is 9...she doesn't have a phone and neither do her school friends.

My ds is secondary age...he and the kids in his class got phones in year six...seems to be the norm.

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