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Please help settle a disagreement

(38 Posts)
Isthisoveryet Sun 28-Jun-20 11:17:08

Hamper bought for a Christmas present. Not huge but special food and value of about £40, very nicely presented etc. We didn’t see the recipient over Christmas but gave it to their close family to pass onto them (they live a 30 min drive from each other and see each other fortnightly). We recently found out that the recipient has only just received the hamper (six months after giving it to the original family member to pass on).

I think this is a bit odd and careless to leave it so long. DH thinks I’m looking for the worst and it’s very normal. We’re not doing anything about it and I’m not overly bothered by it, just we came to loggerheads when I mentioned that it was odd.

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Isthisoveryet Sun 28-Jun-20 11:17:52

I’m basically wondering if I’m the odd one because DH is pretty upset that I think it’s unusual

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dementedpixie Sun 28-Jun-20 11:18:20

Yes its weird. Is all the food still in date?

Sunnydayshereatlast Sun 28-Jun-20 11:19:49

Of course it isn't normal to withhold a gift you were supposed to pass on 6 months ago!! Stuff prob out of date now!!
Your dh is weird op!!
Were his dps the criminals here and he is defending them??

BeeFarseer Sun 28-Jun-20 11:20:30

It's VERY unusual. They see each other fortnightly, so - quick and dirty calculation - they've had 14 occasions at least to pass this present on.

Clearly they forgot to do it.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring Sun 28-Jun-20 11:21:12

Why is he upset?? Seems an over reaction about a difference of opinion!

YANBU though about the hamper. 6 months is a long time

Glitteryone Sun 28-Jun-20 11:22:07

Very weird for them to only pass it on now. YANBU

TheFoz Sun 28-Jun-20 11:22:37

Presumably they couldn’t pass it on in the last few months because of lockdown? So I’d discount the 6 months and call it 3 months. They probably put it away safely so it was out of sight and meant they didn’t think about it.

DuckALaurent Sun 28-Jun-20 11:23:16

Very weird. They should have at least told you they couldn’t pass it on quicker.

nikkylou Sun 28-Jun-20 11:27:32

It is a bit unusual.But given everything I can totally see how its happened so not necessarily too odd.

Forgetting entirely the first time, the second remembering and saying 'oh so and so bought you a gift at mine, I'll bring it over next time'

The oh damn I forgot again / came straight from work and didn't remember to pop it in the car this morning.

Miss a visit, then lockdown... suddenly its June and oh goodness is this still here!

I still have Easter eggs for my one set of niece/nephews...I saw one of them and managed to get them theirs a month or so a go, but the other set are still sat here as we've not had opportunity to go...

Isthisoveryet Sun 28-Jun-20 11:27:36

Yeah I can see that there’s likely an honest mistake behind it, but it’s the lack of explanation that I find strange. There’s been no mention of the fact it was so delayed and it’s very much been presented as ‘normal’. Having said that, my DC has just received a birthday present from a member of that family 7 months late - so it perhaps is their normal!

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Smallsteps88 Sun 28-Jun-20 11:27:38

Yeah that’s weird. I’d be suspecting they used the hamper themselves and have only just got round to replacing it.

purplecorkheart Sun 28-Jun-20 11:29:57

I would assume they had forgotten and really would not give it much more thought. Tbh I hate having to pass on presents to people.

Gulabjamoon Sun 28-Jun-20 11:33:16

Hasn’t 3 of those months been in lockdown?

dudsville Sun 28-Jun-20 11:36:13

Isn't this just a difference of opinion? Your opinions on this both seem reasonable, just different.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury Sun 28-Jun-20 11:45:29

If they had it in time for Christmas, they had 3 months of normality, and around 6 visits. Lockdown didn't happen till mid March!

I'd be irritated too.

Was it all still in date?

Isthisoveryet Sun 28-Jun-20 11:49:38

Technically two months in lockdown as I know they were seeing each other late March and early June. But yes, I know this may have hindered things and they might not have thought to drop a food hamper on the doorstep.

I’m happy to accept difference of opinion and that families do things very differently. DH says that me being stubborn though. Which is what led me here.

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Spandang Sun 28-Jun-20 11:51:41

We were given presents at Christmas to pass on. We wouldn’t see the recipient until Easter normally, which obviously we couldn’t do.

It is what it is, and I look at the presents still stashed in my conservatory and think ‘well you should’ve posted them if you were that bothered about it’.

At the end of the day it’s a nice thing to offer to pass them on but I’m not Royal Mail!

tara66 Sun 28-Jun-20 11:52:27

Very annoying unless they live at South Pole. Who wants Xmas pudding in a heat wave? Complain

YaWeeSkitter Sun 28-Jun-20 11:59:17

Well you know what to do for next time OP.

canigooutyet Sun 28-Jun-20 12:05:12

Are you in direct contact with the person who the gift was for?

As I cannot imagine giving someone a hamper and then hearing nothing from them. I've given a few out over the years, and there's always something mentioned about them. Never mind a quick thanks for it, or some acknowledgement.

Sunnydayshereatlast Sun 28-Jun-20 12:11:22

Families do things differently

Nobody I have ever heard of denies someone a chosen gift in the correct bloody season!!

StillCoughingandLaughing Sun 28-Jun-20 12:12:13

I think your husband is crackers (and if there were any of those in the hamper, they’ll be stale by now). Whoever was supposed to pass the hamper on still had three months to do it before lockdown hit. I can understand you might forget once or even twice, but surely after the second time you’d make damn sure you remembered. And it’s a hamper for Christ’s sake; not a card or a voucher where you might just misplace the envelope. Who loses a hamper?!

excuseforfights Sun 28-Jun-20 12:14:10

I’m going through a bad marriage break up and haven’t responded to some texts I received over 6 months ago.

You never know what’s going on in people’s lives.

RedRed9 Sun 28-Jun-20 12:14:10

It’s pretty odd.

Now you know that they’re not up for passing on presents though so next time just pay for postage.

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