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To ask about nakedness in front of dc

(435 Posts)
Whatafustercluck Sun 28-Jun-20 08:55:53

I've always gone on the basis that as soon as your child feels uncomfortable around you being naked, you should start covering up/ closing the door when dressing or bathing. Ds is 9 and not remotely bothered but I'm starting to wonder if this is weird/ out of step with others. We don't parade around naked for no reason of course, but he will frequently see us naked getting dressed/ undressed morning/ night. How open are you with your kids and what age did that stop? I've seen some experts say that it may be inappropriate from 5 which has concerned me tbh.

OP’s posts: |
goodnamesgone Sun 28-Jun-20 08:59:45

I have a 5 and 2 year old, I'm never ever naked in front of them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Beldon Sun 28-Jun-20 09:04:21

So you are going to wait until the stage it becomes visibly uncomfortable for him?
9 seems too old for me personally, i think it was just when my children were safely able to be left in another room they stopped seeing me getting changed

EinsteinaGogo Sun 28-Jun-20 09:05:17

I don't think this applies to the OP, but previous posts about similar topics have attract pervs, so just saying to posters 'be careful what you share'.

Skybooks Sun 28-Jun-20 09:05:31

goodnamesgone

I have a 5 and 2 year old, I'm never ever naked in front of them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Where you you leave your 2 year old whilst you shower, bath,get dressed?

OP my DS is only 4 so still sees me and DH getting changed/showered etc if he is around.

My Godson is 9 and I know his parents would get changed in front of him if necessary, are you sure your DS even notices. If he is engrossed in something else he might just not see it.

Flippinfurloughed Sun 28-Jun-20 09:06:01

My Ds is 8, he will come and use the loo while I’m in the bath / shower etc. I will walk around in bra / pants but am a bit more conscious now when I’m naked and would put a robe on when doing my make up for example. I figure if he knows the score (like when I’m in shower) and he comes in then he’s comfortable with it, but I respect his boundaries - he’s started occasionally shutting bathroom door when he’s on loo or getting changed in his bedroom rather then on landing, so I give him that privacy.

raspberryk Sun 28-Jun-20 09:06:46

My DS is almost 9 and not the slightest bit bothered either. I can only speak for my house not at his dad's, my dp always wears boxers and would never be naked, he laughs at my ease with being naked.
I'll pop to the bathroom nude after getting out of bed, out the shower to grab a towel when I've forgotten it, I'll get changed and my kids will come in. DS started to be a bit more private in the bathroom I.e. shuts the door and locks it and showers completely independently so I have made an effort to grab a robe, or shut the door until I'm in underwear but he doesn't care if he barges in and I'm not dressed.
I don't really understand the problem with nudity we have in the UK.

CherryPavlova Sun 28-Jun-20 09:07:32

We’ve never been bothered by nakedness. Bodies are bodies. Ours have never reported feeling uncomfortable and have always had the ability to leave our bedroom or not use our bathroom. We don’t parade around or sit eating supper naked but don’t make a fuss about hiding perfectly ordinary skin.
They’re all quite confident with their bodies as adults, no hang ups or locking doors. Plenty of wondering around to our bathroom to use the preferred toiletries or chat.
They’ve never really been through a stage where bodies became uncomfortable. They groan about our beach changing robes (too bright, freaky etc) but were quite happy skinny dipping throughout their childhood. Not all the time, but if the perfect spot appeared and it was hot.
Never felt the need to ‘cover up’ for anyone.

atimetobealive Sun 28-Jun-20 09:07:42

I have a 6 year old and he still jumps in the shower with me and talks to me while I’m getting changed etc.

@goodnamesgone sorry I find that a bit odd

Raella50 Sun 28-Jun-20 09:08:45

Mine are still very small so I haven’t crossed this bridge yet but we are both naked in front of them all the time! Not just walking round the house but we they walk in when we have showers/ get changed. It’s never occurred to me that this is an issue at all. In fact I think it’s nice that as they get older they’ll totally comfortable around us and that they see “normal” bodies and not just enhanced ones on the TV. If they express that they’re uncomfortable at some point I will of course change my habits but I can’t see why we would make an issue where there isn’t one. You are his mum, he literally grew inside your body... he is part of you and your body is. lovely normal, natural thing that he clearly isn’t bothered about seeing. I think it’s stranger when people are too repressed about the human body - the same sort of people who complain when a daughter kisses her dad! The human body, and love, is about a lot more than just sex for goodness sake!

Louise000000 Sun 28-Jun-20 09:09:44

I think it's a good lesson on how natural womans bodies look so I don't try and cover up infront of dcs. They will inevitably see porn, magazines, social media at some point through their childhoods I want them to remember how a natural body is!

Flippinfurloughed Sun 28-Jun-20 09:10:51

atimetobealive

I have a 6 year old and he still jumps in the shower with me and talks to me while I’m getting changed etc.

@goodnamesgone sorry I find that a bit odd

Ds still loves to hop in the bath with me too.if they instigate it then I figure it’s fine!

I think avoiding being naked in front of a 2 year old is a bit odd too - each to their own though I guess 🤷‍♀️

OscarWildesCat Sun 28-Jun-20 09:11:00

Day is 14 nearly and it’s been since he was around 9 or 10 that he’s been uncomfortable. DD is ten and is just starting to be a bit more shy but up until recently would call me in when she was in the shower to help wash her very long hair. I try to always close the door when I’m an changing but DD often wanders in and doesn’t bother. I’ll let her decide for herself, naked bodies are nothing to be ashamed of and as long as you have discussed boundaries etc, don’t overthink it.

OscarWildesCat Sun 28-Jun-20 09:11:26

*DS

Camomila Sun 28-Jun-20 09:12:36

DS is 4 and I've started telling him he's only allowed to be naked in the bathroom or a bedroom...I used to get him dressed in the living room but we live in a ground flat and he's probably a bit old to be randomly naked as he's not a cute toddler (he comes up to my ribs shock)
I stopped him getting in the bath with me recently too...it was getting cramped!

He still wanders in the bathroom when we are showering and I answer his random questions about snacks/paw patrol etc but then then I tell him "off you go now, mummy wants peace and quiet in the shower"

I think it just happens naturally tbh in most cases.

Davodia Sun 28-Jun-20 09:12:57

I’m still breastfeeding my 2 year old. Should I be blindfolding him so he doesn’t see my naked breasts? How am I supposed to have a shower when I can’t leave him unsupervised?

AugieMarch Sun 28-Jun-20 09:13:56

My sons are 9 and 5. I don’t go out of my way to hide if I’m getting dressed after the shower but do get changed in my bedroom, so not exactly on display. I tend to shut the door more now our older son is closer to 10, but we are fairly relaxed about nudity so when he was younger we didn’t try to hide anything or dress behind closed doors. My family growing up was the same.

longsigh Sun 28-Jun-20 09:15:40

My kids are 18, 24 and 22 and will arrive in my bedroom and moan that I'm naked! I just say that if they are in my space what do they expect! We are quite casual about it all and I think people who are uncomfortable are weird and I'm sure they think I'm weird!

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 28-Jun-20 09:16:00

DD is 16 she still sees me naked, in and out the shower. My parents were the same naked bodies are just part of life.

formerbabe Sun 28-Jun-20 09:16:51

Jeez, just close your bedroom door when you're getting changed

Haggisfish Sun 28-Jun-20 09:17:55

I’m naked a lot too so they grow up being comfortable with their own bodies. They occasionally get shy and I always put something on if they ask. They are 9 and 7. Brits are so weirdly hung up about nudity.

JustC Sun 28-Jun-20 09:17:59

My boy is 7. We had started avoiding being naked around him. Recently talked to him about him not busting in if we are naked unless really necessary. Not made a big deal, just in a breezy way. He took it on board pretty much. No, bodies are not shameful, but also don't want normalising nakedness to the point a stranger naked in front of him wouldn't give him pause, and put himself in danger.

Haggisfish Sun 28-Jun-20 09:18:46

A naked stranger is completely different to naked parents.confused

RUOKHon Sun 28-Jun-20 09:20:06

It depends on the kid but 9 is definitely the upper limit of what’s okay I think.

My eldest was completely unself-conscious and oblivious to nudity until about 9. My middle and younger DCs are real prudes, wanting to go to the toilet and get dressed on their own. Middle child will wait for me to come out of the bathroom before they go in. They’re 4 and 5 and often say they don’t even want to share a bath with each other.

zingally Sun 28-Jun-20 09:20:29

I'm occasionally naked in front of my 3.5 year old BG twins. Not like, parading round the house starkers, but if they wander into my room, or the bathroom, while I'm naked, I'm not going to hide or shoo them out.
I don't have an issue with bodies, and neither does my husband. Like, these are what bodies look like when you're grown up. It's not a big deal. But if the DC started to seem uncomfortable, we'd of course stop.

That being said, we were discussing this quite recently. We're soon going to start teaching them to knock before entering a closed door, and wait for an answer. Probably when they turn 4.

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