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To keep my daughter of nursery to hide black eye

(118 Posts)
mummywoes Sun 28-Jun-20 07:33:10

Name changed for this.
My 2 year old hit her cheek on the side of the fire place yesterday after getting hyper and running around with her sister and has a cut on her cheekbone with a bruise all along the bottom of her eye. I'm really worried about sending her to nursery in case they think we've abused her and call social services.
Should I keep her off until it's better? I don't want to risk her being taken away if they don't believe us.

OP’s posts: |
RedHelenB Sun 28-Jun-20 07:35:07

No. Send her in and explain to staff what happened. Keeping her off will raise more questions. Kids have accidents all the time.

FrugiFan Sun 28-Jun-20 07:35:34

They wouldnt report you to social services for a one off event like that. They would definitely clock it and maybe record it somewhere in order to look for a pattern in case there is one. Kids hurt themselves all the time. If anything, keeping her off nursery looks more suspicious.

IKEA888 Sun 28-Jun-20 07:35:36

no don't do that. just tell the truth.
Have you had a bad SS experience before ?
accidents happen.
You've nothing to hide so don't worry.
If you keep her off it can arouse suspicion in itself.

WisestIsShe Sun 28-Jun-20 07:35:58

All children get bumps and bruises. Nursery will ask you about it, ask her when you're not there, and keep a note of an existing injury but unless it's part of a pattern they won't call social services. Tbh, keeping her home to hide the bruise would be more concerning to me.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Sun 28-Jun-20 07:36:18

Do send her in. They will ask you to sign an existing injury form (absolutely normal procedure) and that will be it.

ShastaBeast Sun 28-Jun-20 07:37:38

It may look more suspect if you keep her off. I sent mine in with all sorts of bumps and scrapes - ADHD in the family. If the nursery knows you well and you explain it shouldn’t be raised as an issue unless it happens a lot.

BananaSpanner Sun 28-Jun-20 07:37:45

Definitely don’t keep her off. Take her in, explain. These things happen, they will be far more concerned if they think you are concealing injuries/bruises, especially if you dc mentions why they were off even in a v basic 2 year old way.

Iwantacookie Sun 28-Jun-20 07:38:56

Take her in and explain. I remember taking dd to nursery with 2 blacks eyes thanks to ds1. They just need to document any injury so you cant blame them

VashtaNerada Sun 28-Jun-20 07:40:07

Oh no, don’t worry! I’ve seen all kinds of horrific injuries as a teacher and I never assume the parents are abusers. It all gets logged in case at some point other worrying evidence were to come to light but this alone honestly wouldn’t be a worry to me. Most children end up with injuries logged at some point or other. I have one girl who is really accident-prone but there’s absolutely no reason for concern.

PleasantVille Sun 28-Jun-20 07:40:08

Why would you even think that? That's a worrying reaction to an everyday occurrence.

Apolloanddaphne Sun 28-Jun-20 07:40:57

Send her in and explain what happened. It looks very suspicious keeping her off. Children get injuries like that all the time and the staff will know what to be alert to in terms of abuse. I am a retired SW who used to work in Child protection and that sort of injury with an appropriate explanation would not have concerned me.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Sun 28-Jun-20 07:42:35

Honestly, it's fine.

When DS was that age he was constantly covered in bruises, no one ever said anything.

Luckily they grow out of their clumsy phase by the time they start school.

YinuCeatleAyru Sun 28-Jun-20 07:42:47

keeping her off would raise way more suspicions.

I would phone in advance and ask about the procedure for reporting an accidental injury at home, so that you can have the conversation without the emotive sight of the child having already rung alarm bells.

HappyPunky Sun 28-Jun-20 07:46:10

Tell them what happened. They might make a note of it.
I had a similar thing happen to DD and they made a note of it so they had a record that it didn't happen there.

CockCarousel Sun 28-Jun-20 07:46:19

As well as raising suspicions at school, it's a really bad idea to ask a female child to be secretive about injuries.

mummywoes Sun 28-Jun-20 07:46:51

@IKEA888 no previous involvement, always assumed they'd never have any reason to be but then this happened yesterday and I was awake all night thinking how could we let this happen and now what?

OP’s posts: |
PleasantVille Sun 28-Jun-20 07:50:53


**@IKEA888** no previous involvement, always assumed they'd never have any reason to be but then this happened yesterday and I was awake all night thinking how could we let this happen and now what?

What do you mean by how could you let it happen, there can't be a child in the land who hasn't had an accident, schools have children with injuries in them permanently.

Your attitude is strange, do you have some kind of anxiety issue?

Charliebigpotatoes Sun 28-Jun-20 07:51:52

My 2 year old is an absolute whirlwind and as such he fairly often gets bumps and bruises. I explain what happened to the childminder and that's it.

Unless there are other concerns they won't contact social services. They are usually trained to spot behaviours, types of injury etc.

A black eye alone won't be a problem, they absolutely know that children injure themselves. Please don't worry, I know it can play on your mind but a one off injury isn't anything to worry about.

mummywoes Sun 28-Jun-20 07:52:45

Thanks for the replies, I'll take her in and explain to nursery as she has already missed so much it wouldn't be fair to her as she loves going. Thanks everyone.

OP’s posts: |
SofiaAmes Sun 28-Jun-20 07:56:54

My ds gave himself a black eye and a gash AT the childminders on his second day there. She was mortified and I had to keep apologizing and explaining that if a week went by without DS injuring himself, she should let me know because it surely meant something was wrong with him.

UltimateWednesday Sun 28-Jun-20 07:57:48

No send her in. The nursery may (should) ask what happpened but they won't do anything further unless a pattern emerges.

BudgieHammockBananaSmuggler Sun 28-Jun-20 07:57:53

I hope you are suitably reassured OP! Quite a strange worry to have - I hope you are ok. I would think nursery/schools would be more alert about subtle things like finger shaped bruises than overt injuries like this. 2yos are quite well known for running around like idiots and having no sense of danger or spatial awareness. Or is that just my one?

Lollypop4 Sun 28-Jun-20 08:00:58

I actually kept my DS off once for a few days for exactly same reason.
He was a real rough and tumble child amd was always getting sone form of injury.
one particular week, he had so many bumps and bruises, then ran straight into to a door handle, huge bruise.
I was really worried what teachers would think. I did call them though and explain, they were fine about it.
I felt silly after as the school staff knew how he was regarding injuries.

IKEA888 Sun 28-Jun-20 08:01:22

Try not to worry. Hope the nursery can reassure you too.

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