To ask your opinion on Fortnite?

[hotstepper4]

Dss1 is 10, 11 in December.

He plays Fortnite a lot at his mums and has asked for it here. I have refused so far as I've heard a lot of bad things about it, plus dss1 has ASD and is addicted to screens anyway.

However he's now resisting contact because we don't have Fortnite. He's still coming over but moans about wanting Fortnite all the time.

AIBU? Or should I relent over it as he already plays it all the time elsewhere?

[TerrapinStation]

My DC play fortnite but my situation is very different to yours, tbh you know your child best, I'd suggest you decide what's best taking into account your family circumstances and dynamics.

[xxKatie9806xx]

My son plays it. It does appear to be very addictive, so we limit the time he’s allowed on there and get him to have lots of breaks. He must come off an hour before he attempts to get to sleep etc. Because they are essentially playing for survival I do think it increases their adrenaline so they need to be removed from it frequently. Other than that I feel like it’s just like any other computer game so I think in moderation, it’s OK.

That’s such a shame it’s stopping him wanting to come over. Sounds like he needs to be playing less at his mums as he sounds very addicted, could you speak to her?

[HRH2020]

Hmmm. I am the mum with an ASD son of similar age who is also obsessed with fortnite. He gets way more time on it than NT children because:

He is a sensory seeker and the game calms him down/stops anxiety over other things

Lockdown has been really difficult to manage for him as he is now too anxious to go outside (unless it's outdoors where there are no people).

It's the only way he can socialise at the moment.

We will be reducing the time once things are back to "normal".
So what I'm saying is maybe try and see it from his perspective? It may be the only social activity he enjoys and it does build team work skills

[mornington444]

Stick to your guns and keep saying no.

He visits a different house, there are different rules. A useful lesson for him, even if the game was not addictive.

[BeKindOrBeQuiet]

I think I'd let him play on it if the following rules he agrees to abide:

Set times for playing it
Turning it off at end of set time with no kick offs from him

I have one dc with asd and he does get a lot from being in front of a screen. My ds seeks stimulation so the lights, the sounds and game play (minecraft and Lego atm) provides him with some of the stimulation which helps him feel more settled. That said I don't let him play it for hours on end, he's usually jumping on the trampoline or running around the gardens and climbing over our walls and fences. But there's definitely a time and a place for it imo

[LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus]

I used to be against it and didn't encourage my eldest to play when he asked. He wasn't bothered though and he did try it at a friend's house and didn't like it. My 9 year old plays it with his friends. I let him have longer than I would in normal circumstances as he isn't seeing his friends at school. He comes off of it easily though with no fuss. Maybe children have various issues Inc asd (the eldest). After a lot of battles I have relaxed a bit on screens and it has made family life much easier.

[Sunnysidegold]

I wish I hadn't got it for my children. We said yes to it because of lockdown - they could talk to their friends from school via the mics. I had a go on it and felt it wasn't gory or anything so felt it was ok.

I think the problem with it is that it is t like mario or Minecraft where you can save your progress. It's a love game played against others in real time so if I call the. For tea they are really annoyed at having to stop. We limit screen time and they get really grumpy of their time is up during a match.

The child is trying to blackmail you though! Get me Fortnite or I'll not come visit. If it's not this what's the next thing he'll request?

If you're going to get it you would need to talk through some rules.

[Waveysnail]

We started allowing ds1 who is 11 (12 in sept) at start of lockdown. We have two other ds 9 and 7. We decided its not appropriate for them. My dh plays 18 games late at night and he was a bit disturbed about hunam looking characters running around killing each other, crawling on hands and knees when injured.

[Allyg1185]

We allowed our ds 9 to get it and it is very addictive but we set out clear guidelines and limit hi time on it. As long as he isn't on it all day everyday and is balancing with other activities etc I don't see a problem

[TheHighestSardine]

Set times for playing it
Turning it off at end of set time with no kick offs from him

Yes, with one MAJOR proviso that'll make life mych easier for everyone:

It's an online multiplayer game usually played with teams of friends, so a set time for stopping won't work as you'll be pulling him out of an active round and messing the game up for his friends too - which can make him a pariah.

A set time for announcing "this is your last round" will avoid major risks of kicking off. The rounds only last 5-15 minutes so it's not a problem, but the difference is like being pulled out of a race three quarters through vs finishing a race.

[Morgan12]

I love it 😂

Its addictive yes, but so are other games. Fortnite seems to get a bad rap on here and in the media.

It's a good game. It's not gory. It's fun. Its sociable. It has a whole other side called Fortnite Creative which my DS loves. It's kind of like Minecraft but in Fortnite maps.

I'd let him get it and just be careful of time limits the same as other games.

[pinkstripeycat]

I’d say it’s VERY addictive but not violent. When someone dies they just dissolve and then reappear (re-spawn) . Minecraft is worse when you kill an animal and it squeals

[Mintychoc1]

I hate it but I don’t think you can fight it. I would get it but limit his time .

[flamingochill]

Fortnite isn't the outrageously violent game that some make it out to be but giving in to your son probably won't going to help as he's going to nag for more time etc

The biggest problem for "underage" kids playing Fortnite is the online element imo. Some of the players are clearly way too young (I regularly hear early primary voices) and they give away so much personal details about themselves and the language they hear will be worse than the playground.

10 is a reasonable age to play (even though it's technically a 12) but can he handle the losing without tantrums that NT kids have over this?

[BeKindOrBeQuiet]

@TheHighestSardine yes I agree you can't have a set time per se, I probably didn't explain very well. But op could say for example, "I'm starting dinner, come off once this game has finished so you can have dinner with us"

I do this with my eldest

[maddening]

We have no problems from ds due to fortnite. He knows to come off it as soon we say with no question or he would lose it.

[TheHighestSardine]

Yep, that's exactly it BeKindOrBeQuiet

I wanted to raise the point because lots of people who don't play online games have no awareness that it's like pulling their kid out of a 5-a-side match half way through, and then they get all mad about the kid kicking off.

[Gettingonwithlife]

I don’t have any problems with it. I have 2 boys and It is great for social Interactions, ALL of their friends play Fortnite.

[hotstepper4]

Thanks everyone. I've decided to let him have it but he's only having restricted access.

Dh would be devastated if he stopped coming over this so it's not worth the battle this time.

Hoping my ds9 doesn't follow suit into the Fortnite obsession 🙄

[whoiscooking]

I'm so glad my 10 year old has had Fortnite during lockdown, has been the only way to keep in touch with his friends. No trouble with him coming off as long as you let him know it's time for the last game.