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I need help, I need to help my mum through a mental health crisis but don't know how. TW suicide

(16 Posts)
IndecentFeminist Fri 26-Jun-20 22:15:56

I know this isn't an AIBU subject, but help pls.

My mum started getting anxious a while back due to lockdown. Was prescribed antidepressants. Got steadily worse over the last few weeks. They've changed her drugs a few times. She's not sleeping, eating, can't wee any more so had a catheter fitted last week. As of yesterday she became manic, suicidal. She got all the tablets in the house, wrote notes etc. My dad found her and stopped her.

Neither of them are doing well. I managed to get them both to take some valium and rest today, so were a little calmer this eve.

She's panicking about the various tablets, in the area we are in you can't see anyone. The GPs won't see people face to face, community nurses won't visit etc. Even the closest private hospital has had most of its wards taken by NHS just in case. She's petrified of travelling in case she gets the virus.

Just the whole thing scares her. I don't know how to reassure her. Whether I should be encouraging her to take these various tablets, what I should be doing. I've looked up the various drugs, but am just lost.

OP’s posts: |
Murphs1 Fri 26-Jun-20 22:25:05

How awfully stressful for you indecentfeminist. If you call 111 they will be able to advice you on what to do next. If she was manic/suicidal yesterday did you have any advice from any health care professionals then?

IndecentFeminist Fri 26-Jun-20 22:32:47

We have spoken to 111 a lot, had paramedics out (they fitted the initial catheter I think).

But they just keep changing the meds and saying to stick with it. She's worried that she'll be stuck with the catheter, that the pills will make her worse, that the urinary retention is actually a physical issue as against physiological, but because no-one will see her in person it won't get diagnosed etc.

OP’s posts: |
PinkiOcelot Fri 26-Jun-20 22:43:16

Is there no out of hours open? Could you go to A&E with her during a manic episode?
I really don’t understand some GPs not seeing people. It’s ridiculous.

IndecentFeminist Fri 26-Jun-20 22:45:06

The paramedics said a&e would send her home. Ridiculous thing is that we are in a geographically unusual location, and c19 never really hit us hard (fingers crossed etc), there hasn't been a case in a fortnight but everything is locked down hard.

I'm hoping that the central assesment team or whatever they're called will send someone to see her this weekend.

OP’s posts: |
Pumperthepumper Fri 26-Jun-20 22:50:09

I think I’d take her up to A&E anyway, if she’ll go. I’m really sorry you’re having to go through this with no help. It’s shit flowers

Murphs1 Fri 26-Jun-20 23:01:41

I agree with PP, if she’s manic and suicidal she needs to go to A&E, and then she’ll get the support she needs. Are you able to take her there?

tattychicken Fri 26-Jun-20 23:07:30

A and E. IME (with a suicidal daughter) you have to really spell it it out/lay it on thick. Their life is in danger, they're actively trying to kill themselves. It's an immediate risk.

Murphs1 Fri 26-Jun-20 23:31:23

Good advice @tattychicken, I’m sorry you’ve been in that situation.

Room101isWhereIUsedtoLive Fri 26-Jun-20 23:35:39

If the not being able to wee has started since she was put on a new kind of medication.
It's probably a side effect of the medication. .
Definitely get your mum to A and E, she needs to be assessed by a mental health professional.

Minniee Fri 26-Jun-20 23:41:16

Definitely A&E thanks

maggiecate Fri 26-Jun-20 23:52:15

Your mum needs an emergency psychiatric assessment. There will be a community psychiatric team on call who will be the first port of call. (

Make it clear that she is suicidal and that you and your dad aren’t confident that you can keep her safe. It sounds as if you’ve exhausted your resources for coping with this.

You may have to be assertive and insist on being seen - don’t say you can manage until Monday, make it clear that this is an emergency. Don’t struggle on, it doesn’t help your mum.

And if it’s any comfort I’ve been where you are and once the right treatment was worked out mum did improve greatly- it took a while and some inpatient treatment but that awful terror she was experiencing isn’t there anymore.

Ireolu Sat 27-Jun-20 00:02:46

She needs to go to A+E. It's a mental health emergency. She needs a formal assessment by the mental health team and they can make a plan. Active plans to harm oneself and going off are concerning. Take her in please

MeAndHimAndHer Sat 27-Jun-20 00:11:29

Sounds like a mixture of physical and mental health needs.
Can you find the number for your local mental health crisis team? They should be able to advise/ coordinate. If the medication you mention is to do with her physical health they won’t be able to do anything about that but they can advise/ assess re the suicidality and anxiety.
I work in a mental health crisis team and if we got a call from you we’d visit or arrange appropriate assessment.

IndecentFeminist Sat 27-Jun-20 08:03:34

Thank you all. We are a bit brighter today, stuck to a good bedtime routine 😂, some herbal tea with the new tablets that scared her so much from the day before and then bed...and according to my dad she didn't stir all night. Currently in the bath. This also means he slept properly too.

My sister is there now and I'll check in shortly. I'm really hoping that they had wound themselves up into a frenzy, and a couple of clear heads around, with some sleep on their part will mean we can push through.

If she worsens again, a&e. I think feeling that you can't see anyone has definitely not helped.

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BBCK Sat 27-Jun-20 08:15:12

So sorry to hear your situation; what a nightmare. As others have said, take her to A&E if she is willing and demand a full mental health assessment. This is an impossible situation for all of you.
Good luck!

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