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AIBU?

To report this to police?

99 replies

suspended · 26/06/2020 13:46

My grandad is refusing to give up his licence. He is 86, and has become more and more disabled over the years.

Last year he spent a month in hospital after fracturing his hip- he now has one leg shorter than the other and walks with two sticks. He limps and can only walk around 2m unaided. We suspect although have no proof that he could not do an emergency stop.

He has glaucoma and reduced eyesight. He regularly goes to get his eyes depressurised and then drives back even though his sight is impaired after the procedure. He will not accept a lift.

Last Wednesday he had a fall and broke his arm. We just called him and he was not in. Then called my nana and they were 'driving'. She said she was changing gears for him.

I am honestly at my wits end with them. They could kill someone. What can we do? My dad has called their GP to discuss it but they can not do anything with out my grandads permission. The police were unhelpful as he passed his driving test review a few years back.

My grandparents could have help from myself, my brother or my father but won't accept it. They have also been completely flouting the covid 19 rules and have been out every day shopping, visiting friends and generally pissing all of us off with their lack of care for others.

I had a thought though, would it work if I reported them for dangerous driving?

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Angelonia · 26/06/2020 13:48

Your nana was changing gears for him Shock

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Angelonia · 26/06/2020 13:49

That is terrible. Maybe you should report him.

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suspended · 26/06/2020 13:49

Yes so it isn't just one stupid act? It's two people in cahoots.

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suspended · 26/06/2020 13:50

They have terrible form for just putting their own needs first. Mostly about entertaining themselves I.e turning up unnanounced, even when you have said someone's ill etc. Coming round when they have chest infections.

The driving thing is the worst. I don't know what to do as we have no proof.

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LittleMissNaice · 26/06/2020 13:52

Call the DVLA.

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Finfintytint · 26/06/2020 13:52

If you believe it’s a medical condition that is affecting his driving then you can report to the DVLA.

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IndigoHexagon · 26/06/2020 13:56

You can report this direct to the DVLA- I’ve had to do it before (and you can do it anonymously). In my case it was my 80 year old neighbour, a lovely man, but he was driving up and down a three mile stretch of road out of our village daily, which doesn’t have a straight bit in it, that narrows considerably in several places and is up and down the whole way! I would often pass him, and he would be all over the place. The final straw was when I met him on the road and he’d slowed right down and had his eyes closed - luckily removing his foot from the accelerator not pressing down!

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Dreamersandwishers · 26/06/2020 13:59

Can your Dad not sit them down for a frank discussion? How would they feel if they hurt someone, never mind killed them?

If he has glaucoma in both eyes, that’s a notifiable condition, so as others have suggested, call the DVLA.

Best of luck, it’s a tough one, getting someone to recognise new limitations.

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LordGribeau · 26/06/2020 14:00

@suspended if you have concerns over someone's fitness to drive you can report to the DVLA through this link:

live.email-dvla.service.gov.uk/w2c/en_gb/forms/EFTD%20Enquiry?button=none&decision=I+have+concerns+over+a+person%27s+fitness+to+drive+and+I+wish+to+tell+the+DVLA&lang=en_gb

I think, under the circumstances you have described, that would be what I would do. If they were to cause an accident you may feel responsible, even though it wouldn't be your fault.

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Pericombobulations · 26/06/2020 14:01

I used to work in an opticians that ran glaucoma clinics and the first thing we said to patients was, make sure you come with someone else as you will not be safe to drive!

My mum is in 80 and had managed to drive into a parked car as she failed to judge safely the space. I wanted to get her to get rid of her car. My brothers over-ruled me and renewed her insurance etc. Even though I provided her with a good taxi firm and got quotes from them that proved she would save money using a taxi every week than her car. But no, my brothers insisted. Even though every time there is a problem with her car, she rings me, and I have to repeated I dont want her to drive but to call my brothers if she has an issue.

I too am very worried about her safety behind a wheel, but not sure what I can do about it. So sorry to hear your grandparents are doing similarly.

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paperandfireworks · 26/06/2020 14:01

Report for sure.

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Thisischaos · 26/06/2020 14:01

Report to the DVLA immediately - this is shocking behaviour on his part which could have catastrophic consequences in an accident Shock

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okiedokieme · 26/06/2020 14:01

Call the DVla now, they can put an anpr alert out to police if they believe he's dangerous (more likely they will write to his gp for evidence and suspend his licence by writing to him in the interim)

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Smileyaxolotl1 · 26/06/2020 14:03

Yanbu at all.

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Tiredmum100 · 26/06/2020 14:03

Report them to the DVLA. What they're doing is so dangerous. Maybe point out a man and his 2 children and dog were killed on fathers day by some drunk idiot whilst out walking
Probably thinking its OK and won't happen to them. Ask your grandfather if he wants to spend the rest of his years locked up.

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Likefootball · 26/06/2020 14:04

Call the DVLA. It might feel bad to tell on your grandad, but it would feel even worse if they injured themselves or somebody else.
The glaucoma is particularly a concern as the lack of peripheral vision could mean him not seeing a dog or worse still a child if they stepped out in front of the car.
Frightening.

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melissasummerfield · 26/06/2020 14:05

You should have a conversation with them and then report them to the DVLA.

A little girl was killed close to where i live by a similar driver who went straight through pedestrian crossing, her mother survived just about and reading about it was absolutely heart breaking.

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ThatUserNamesTakenTryAnother · 26/06/2020 14:15

Report it definitely.
You'd regret it so much if they killed someone or people..

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Elsa8 · 26/06/2020 14:17

I would 100% report. I’d probably ring the DVLA and the police, no way should be be on the roads.

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Sunnydayshereatlast · 26/06/2020 14:19

I reported exh to dvla. They did nothing. Ring the police op. Today. Before they kill someone..

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Sedlescombe · 26/06/2020 14:19

Rather than tell DVLA would it be worth telling him that if he drives again you will, or we’re you hoping for anonymity?

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Srictlybakeoff · 26/06/2020 14:23

Your GP is wrong. They can inform the DVLA if they feel a persons driving is dangerous and that person won’t inform the DVLA themselves. If you goggle DVLA guidance for doctors it tells you this in the first few pages.
It’s best practice to discuss things with the patient and get their permission but this can be overruled.
Would your grandparents listen to the GP if he told him to stop driving . I would read the guidelines and phone the GP again, saying why you believe the driving is dangerous and what you have read in the guidance. Say that you will put this in writing to them . I think this would encourage the GP to act.

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SingingInTheShithouse · 26/06/2020 14:25

Report to the DVLA, they don't tell him they've had a report, just that they need to reapply for his licence given age medical problems etc

I had to do it for my dad, so I feel for you. My dad was actually fine about it though & understood it was because I was worried about him. Bar a very toxic DB, no way he would have known it was me, as the DVLA implied it came from his doctors

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HappyHammy · 26/06/2020 14:28

I would report this to thr police today and the dvla. Ridiculous and dangerous behaviour. They could kill someone.

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Mutabilis · 26/06/2020 14:36

I think reporting him to the DVLA is the only safe option. I had the same thing with my 90 year old Granddad, an optician said his eye sight was not good enough to drive and he blamed her and just carried on. He had many near misses, it was only when a bus driver reported him that he finally accepted he had to stop driving. He actually seems happier now he doesn't feel a pressure to drive and enjoys telling me how far he's been for free on the bus (pre-covid anyway).

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