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To feel I’ve been left holding the babies

(3 Posts)
LibrariesGiveUsPower Fri 26-Jun-20 09:33:56

I’m newly self employed and as such have received no government support. No grants, no SEISS. Bust a gut to keep my business going, but all of my work has moved to 2021. I can’t get UC and long delays on the bounce back loan. I’ve worked so damn hard through maternity leave to have financial independence and a stable income of my own.

Kids aren’t going back to school in our area (well technically they get one day, but what’s the point?) all through lockdown I’ve homeschooled our small DC every day, whilst simultaneously running my business. We have no family nearby and haven’t seen anyone (Wales so not allowed to travel more than 5 miles). I’m exhausted, and don’t know how I’m meant to keep this up til September, and beyond as schools are saying it’ll only be 1/3 capacity even then. I love my kids, but they need constant stimulation and supervision, they are just so full on and need more than I can give.

DH has announced he’s going back into the office now and I just don’t know how I’m meant to cope. I’m already worn out and at the end of my tether.

I’ve been desperately holding out hope we can go stay with my parents for a bit, but as they are more vulnerable want to self isolate for 14 days first. Finally law allows it from next week but I feel like that’s impossible now DH is returning to the office (lower risk but other employees aren’t following rules). All along the burden of childcare has fallen to me, though he has done bits through the day and I feel like all responsibility for kids is now on me. I can’t afford to pay for childcare so I have to suck it up.

Someone give me some hope!

OP’s posts: |
FelicityPike Fri 26-Jun-20 09:59:15

You don’t need to home school your children until September...they’re due school holidays. Who would’ve been watching them
during the summer break?
Why is it impossible to visit your parents just because your husband is going back to work?
Do you get time to yourself when your husband comes home? Even a hour or so to relax a bit?

LibrariesGiveUsPower Fri 26-Jun-20 12:19:05

Summer holidays usually would be a mix of paid childcare (shut due to covid, can’t now afford the alternatives at £90 per day due to loss of income), PIL (shielding), and myself looking after them.

I might be over cautious in regards to seeing my parents, but I’m terrified of taking virus to them so want to try and minimise contact with anyone else before we go.

Any spare time I have I’m working on my business. It’s relentless.

OP’s posts: |

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