My mother has severe MH issues - if she was a child today she’d be diagnosed with a whole range of issues but currently it’s just depression and anxiety.
She’s always been extremely difficult and my childhood wasn’t great with her - constantly treading on egg shells and a host of emotional/verbal abuse. I couldn’t wait to leave home at 18 and never went back. In my adult life I’ve never really spent more than a couple of days with her and only visit a few times a year but that’s more for her sake than mine.
We’re currently spending more time together due to a family emergency/organising a funeral etc and she’s being awful to everyone she’s around. My family understand that it’s ‘just her and she can’t help it’.
Yesterday she gave her opinions to my partner out of nowhere because he was being slightly cold with her (he was getting to the end of his tether as she’s been making digs at us, our home and at him for days now). She’s told him that I’m way too good for him, that he’s not a real man (because she saw me taking out the bins), that he’s a disgrace of a human and called him every name under the sun. Two minutes later she asked him what he was making for dinner (she’s able to flip and then be completely fine which is a complete head fuck). He’s honestly been really good to her for the last couple of years and he’s a good person.
This morning he offered me a cup of tea and offered her one as well which she replied ‘do not talk to me’ but then changed her mind and demanded that he made her one.
He’s absolutely fuming, hiding out in our bedroom biting his tongue.
We’re trying for a baby and hoping to get married in the next year or so and he’s had a serious chat with me that he doesn’t want to bring a baby into this family and he certainly doesn’t want her at the wedding. I’ve begged her to apologise but she 100% believes she’s done nothing wrong.
I would cut her out as she only brings stress to my life but she’s not able to function by herself - not able to hold down a job for more than a couple of weeks due to ‘personality differences’ and she struggles with any form of paperwork therefore I give her basic income to live off and have to help her function. She doesn’t have any friends and every family member keeps her at arms length - Sadly nobody wants to be around her.
She is toxic/manipulative/bitch but she can’t help it. If I cut her out of my life she could be dead for years and nobody would notice. She does love me and I do really feel sorry for her.
I feel pulled and really don’t know what to do.
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AIBU?
DP wants me to cut off my mother.
208 replies
Bloodymother321 · 25/06/2020 11:23
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
396 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
83%
You are NOT being unreasonable
17%
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