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Deceased grandmother's jewelery

(93 Posts)
Cheeseaandbiscuits Wed 24-Jun-20 20:54:21

Looking for opinions on this situation.
Elderly lady has recently died and her jewelery is being divided between female family, one daughter and six granddaughters.
As she did not specify who was to have what, it's for the family to decide. Majority of the jewellery is of little financial value but very sentimental, either she had most her life or were past down from her mother/grandmother.

The part I'm looking for opinions on comes down to the granddaughters. They are all adults. The lady had a close relationship with three of them and when they got older they would visit her frequently, make meals for her when she was ill etc. The other three didn't give her the time of day at all. She always got them a gift at birthday's and Christmas and never got a word of thanks. They chose never to visit her off their own backs, and when they were suggested to do so when she had little time left to live they wouldn't, nor when she was in hospital extremely ill. They knew it was now or never and chose never.

Do you think that the three granddaughters who chose not to be in her life are entitled to some of her jewellery collection now she's passed away?

YABU - they should still get
YANBU - they shouldn't get

OP’s posts: |
Perro Wed 24-Jun-20 20:57:17

YABU. An inheritance is not ‘earned’, though I seem to be in a minority in believing this.

jetsetter87 Wed 24-Jun-20 20:59:04

Go by the wishes of the will and will only. If the lady wished she could have changed her will

There is nothing to gain at all bu going against thewishes in the will

AConvivialHost Wed 24-Jun-20 20:59:45

It sounds like she had a will but didn't specify who should get what jewellery in her will, in which case it was her decision that it be divided that way and so, of course, they are entitled to some of her collection.

jetsetter87 Wed 24-Jun-20 21:00:28

Ah just seen its not specified in the will to divide it equally!!! Not helpful sorry for my comment its not helpful facepalm

Notupforit Wed 24-Jun-20 21:02:11

So, this woman said in her will that she wanted those people to have it but you think you know better than her what she wanted? Quite frankly, you're an idiot for even needing to ask this. Of course you're being unreasonable. She's said she wants the seven family members to get her jewellery, if she wanted only four people to get some then that's what she would have said.
Imagine if you died and left something to someone and some twat decided that you're wrong and don't get to choose...

Cheeseaandbiscuits Wed 24-Jun-20 21:02:40

She didn't have a will. As I said the jewellery isn't of financial value but sentimental.

OP’s posts: |
VenusClapTrap Wed 24-Jun-20 21:02:43

I think you have to split it fairly. They were all her granddaughters.

Notupforit Wed 24-Jun-20 21:04:12

If she didn't have a will stating that it should be split between family members then it shouldn't be split between family members at all?!

GrumpyHoonMain Wed 24-Jun-20 21:05:24

I don’t think you need to split it fairly at all. If it’s just sentimental stuff then the grandaughters who didn’t bother will just bin it eventually. Split it only between the daughters and the three grandaughters who cared.

Cheeseaandbiscuits Wed 24-Jun-20 21:05:48

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OP’s posts: |
LST Wed 24-Jun-20 21:06:23

@notupforit so what happens to it?

Lovelydovey Wed 24-Jun-20 21:06:46

I would let the closest three have first choice but otherwise divide equally.

Queenunikitty Wed 24-Jun-20 21:06:56

In our family it has always been that you pick one thing alternately in order of age, oldest first.

Cheeseaandbiscuits Wed 24-Jun-20 21:07:03

If she didn't have a will stating that it should be split between family members then it shouldn't be split between family members at all?!

Just pop it all in the bin then shall they?
I despair!

OP’s posts: |
Notupforit Wed 24-Jun-20 21:07:45

I'm not making up a narrative - you seem to have no understanding of the law. If she didn't have a will then her stuff doesn't just get divvied up. There are laws and procedures that are followed if someone dies without a will. Either you follow a will or you don't. If you're arguing that her saying that it should be divided up between seven people is a verbal will then you have to follow that. If you're saying that she had no will then none of her grandchildren can legally inherit anything. That's the law.

Daphnise Wed 24-Jun-20 21:09:43

Life isn't an exact account with debits and credits for good deeds, amount of love given etc.

So stay out of it and distribute the stuff evenly among all.

It's unlikely to be worth any real money, and those you define as "ungrateful" or "unworthy" may not want it anyway.

When my Grandmother died her money went evenly, including to one Granddaughter who never visited her as she "didn't like hospitals and ill people".

Notupforit Wed 24-Jun-20 21:10:19

@LST If someone dies without a will then their estate, in its entirety, goes to their spouse or civil partner. If they have no spouse or civil partner then it is divided equally between their surviving children. This woman had at least one surviving child. The grandchildren cannot legally inherit anything at all. Her property should not be being divided up between family members at all. It should only be going to her surviving children.

theendoftheworldasweknowit Wed 24-Jun-20 21:10:27

If the market value is all the same, but it's mostly sentimental, I would suggest the GDs in her life get first dibs on what they want to remember her by. So it gets shared equally, but the ones who feel an emotional connection to the jewellery get to pick first. Seems fair, no?

GhostCurry Wed 24-Jun-20 21:11:25

“ Queenunikitty

In our family it has always been that you pick one thing alternately in order of age, oldest first.”

Of all the house rules to follow, this seems like one of the least fair ways to do it, but I guess it depends on how many siblings there are.

OP, I like your spirit. Can’t wait to see how this thread pans out! (And sorry about your grandma, it’s pretty clear who you are in this scenario)

MrMagooInTheLoo Wed 24-Jun-20 21:11:29

Legally the jewellery forms part of the deceased esate so it would either go to the married partner or if there is none or they died it goes to her children who can decide what to do with their share. If it cannot be decided who gets what then either a solicitor would need to be involved and the items distributed or sold and the money shared equally between the deceased children. Its a pain in the arse when there's no Will. I know from first hand experience

Idontgiveagriffindamn Wed 24-Jun-20 21:11:48

It should be split between next of kin (children in this case?) They can decide whether to pass any on the the granddaughters.

GhostCurry Wed 24-Jun-20 21:13:27

“ Her property should not be being divided up between family members at all. It should only be going to her surviving children.”

That’s not what happens in the real world though.

MrMagooInTheLoo Wed 24-Jun-20 21:13:48

Grandchildren don't automatically get any inheritance unless its specificed in a Will. Likewise all the deceased children are entitled to an equal share of the remaining estate.

YouDirtyMare Wed 24-Jun-20 21:15:08

I had some jewellery from a relative I loved dearly but could rarely see . It means the world to me
Think on . It’s not your wishes , you may not know the whole story

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