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To think he could see his dad now.

(7 Posts)
Anney28 Wed 24-Jun-20 15:01:42

Name changed - just in case anything gives me away.

DS 10 hasn’t seen his dad since before lockdown. Things had been strained with his dad for a while before that but had become better during Feb and beginning of March. Then lockdown came along. His dad decided it was best he didn’t see him. Fair enough. I mean his dad was furloughed and we were at home all the time apart from my husband going to work - his job is low risk on the covid front. Doesn’t work with the public, social distancing is the usual, increased cleaning and regular hand washing. Also we live in an area with low cases but fair enough DS stayed home and I was fine with that. But I know other children were seeing their dads.

My ex still doesn’t want to have DS as he’s worried about the risk to his younger children and partner. Sounds reasonable but what’s he gonna do. Avoid DS forever?

DS is still off school, we are social distancing to keep the risk for us low. Aibu to think his dad could see him now?

This isn’t the case of me trying to get rid of DS for the day. DS has been at home for 3 months. It’s been fine. But I feel like we will be going back to square one with his dad. My husband treats him as his own and the same as our own Dd.

Up until Feb he’s only seen Him about 5 times in the year so really poorly considering he lives 5 minutes away. But had seen him every weekend for a month or so before lockdown. Things were looking up.

Now it’s back to square one. DS doesn’t appear to care but I think deep down he does. He doesn’t open up much but told me he doesn’t even know what his half-brother looks like anymore (even when his dad seen him in Feb time it would only be DS and him. DS hasn’t seen his siblings in months and month.

Aibu to think this is just him being a really shit dad? He barely rings to see how he is. He only lives 5 minutes away. I said he could even come over to our garden to see our son whilst social distancing.

Aibu to tell my ex that either be consistent in his life or not at all rather than coming and going all the time.

OP’s posts: |
flamingochill Wed 24-Jun-20 15:15:07

It's shit

Most kids are seeing their other parent IME. Mine can't stay at their Dads but he's been taking them out for exercise for the last couple of months. (They didn't seem him in March/April)

fandajji Wed 24-Jun-20 16:18:30

Mine have seen their dad every weekend after we realised 3 weeks in that this wasn't going away in a hurry. He doesn't have them overnight at the moment and we remain distanced whilst transferring them. The risk to his mental health and theirs if they continued to not see him was far greater than the risk of CV. If he would have rejected seeing them I would have told him to keep them at his until this was over as I needed the childcare to work.

fandajji Wed 24-Jun-20 16:19:31

So YANBU, any good dad would be desperate for contact after 3 months!

Spinakker Wed 24-Jun-20 16:24:23

Yanbu. He sounds very selfish. Not even speaking to him on the phone or a socially distanced visit ? Ie at a park or something? Is really disappointing.

ItStartedWithAKiss241 Wed 24-Jun-20 16:26:14

My children’s dad is similar to your ex. It’s so annoying as Covid will seem like a good excuse why he hasn’t bothered with the children in 3 months. He hasn’t bothered with them much in 10 years! X

TheCanyon Wed 24-Jun-20 20:28:28

My dd hasn't seen her dad since early feb. He works away on the rigs so I guess they're used to infrequent overnights. Been home two or three times since lockdown and fuck all, says he'll see next time. Dd adores her had and he utterly adores her too which makes it all the more strange.

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