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12 yo ds spending hours on the xbox. Aibu to just let him?

(10 Posts)
DeborahAnnabelToo Wed 24-Jun-20 13:07:02

He's not on it weekdays until around 3.30pm. But after that it's pretty much all evening and then on weekends it can be all day. He does some chores, been out with friends a few times, and (mostly) doing ok-ish with schoolwork. Should we just leave him to it?

OP’s posts: |
HugeAckmansWife Wed 24-Jun-20 13:12:56

I'm struggling with this too. The alternative is the house being a constant, tense battleground. DS will play board games or play outside but nothing creative or imaginative like lego or art on his own. He reads but not in the middle of the day. I go back and forth on it in my head, because I don't game and feel like it's a waste of time but it's him, its what he likes and what he's good at. He's always been the same, unlike his sister. There are some boundaries about dinner time, chores, outside time etc but as a single parent I just can't have a permanent state of angst over it. He's socialising really well through it also.

DeborahAnnabelToo Wed 24-Jun-20 13:16:01

Hugh, my ds has never been into imaginative games either, no lego, craft etc, not ever. Normally he'd play football but obviously that's off too. He'll play cards and some board games but that's it really. I tell myself he's "socialising" but it mainly seems to be incoherent bellowing shock

OP’s posts: |
KindKylie Wed 24-Jun-20 13:16:08

I absolutely wouldn't allow this, no.

Does he do any exercise each day? Spend time outside? Do you do any family activities at the weekend? Does he read, play board games, card games, do jigsaws?

Children's brains are not meant to be stimulated all the time. They need real life connections, outdoor activity and space and time to think and use other bits of their brain. A bit of computer or screen time - fine. But it should be strictly boundaried and time limited.

I have recently reined in our already v restricted screen time allowances because they were asking for tgem all the time. In just a few days of no tablet time, mine have found other things to do, played more, read more etc.

GrapesAreMyJam Wed 24-Jun-20 13:21:57

I wouldn't be worried about this. I game a lot when DD is in bed. And when she's at her grandma's house I can be gaming all day. My two best friends (who I met through gaming ten years ago) are also on at the same times so we talk and play together all day.
Gaming is quite stimulating. It's no different from reading, completing jigsaws etc etc. It depends on the games obviously.
As long as he goes outside occasionally, I wouldn't be worried at all

Malbecblooms Wed 24-Jun-20 18:07:29

1-2 hours tops is more than enough.

He needs exercise, sunlight and something that's not a computer game. It's perfectly possible to have boundaries around this. Tricky thing is now you have allowed it.

OscarWildesCat Wed 24-Jun-20 18:10:12

Mine is 13 and same scenario here but now that lockdown is not so strict, he’s getting out on his bike etc. It’s easy to say you wouldn’t allow it but really, recently, there’s not been much else to do?. Encourage him to meet a friend if possible but seriously, don’t beat yourself up, it’s strange times and we are all doing what we can, it’s not forever.

ElizabethMainwaring Wed 24-Jun-20 18:13:52

Computer games such as these are designed to be addictive, especially to youg minds.
Ive read several articles all about people who work in silicon valley not allowing their own children to go anywhere near those games.
They know what they are doing.
They don't mind poisoning your child's mind for profit, but would not put their own in that position. It's horrific.

CodenameVillanelle Wed 24-Jun-20 18:13:57

When we were in proper lockdown mine was spending similar amounts of time on his though I would impose 2 hourly breaks over the weekend. Now that he can see friends he's doing that for a few hours every Saturday and Sunday and some afternoons so it's reduced a lot. Does yours have friends he can meet?

BarbedBloom Wed 24-Jun-20 18:38:42

It wouldn't bother me, but I would rather stab myself than play a board game. I also hate going for walks as I find it very boring. Why not just alternate activities, so one night you could watch a movie together and another night do something else. But it depends if he has an alternative anyway, around here no one is letting their kids out to play at all, so my brother's children are spending a lot of time online as everyone else is doing the same.

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