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AIBU?

Men in teaching

199 replies

LegallyBlue · 24/06/2020 10:39

My husband used to be a recording studio engineer but decided to become a teacher when we had children because the hours were much more family friendly. He trained as a secondary school Physics teacher but he's just about to start a new role as a primary school science teacher in a private primary school. It made more sense for us because it means a huge fee reduction for our own children and he's also getting some senior leadership responsibilities so it pays well.
Since telling people he's going to be teaching in a primary school, I've had a few comments from people. Comments like "don't you think it's weird he wants to spend all day around children?" and "I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like". Basically implying my husband is a paedophile.
It literally never even crossed my mind and I'm really shocked. I might expect this attitude from some old fashioned elderly people but some of these people are young and liberal friends of ours. Am I missing something here?

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Bananasplitlady · 24/06/2020 10:41

If this is actually true, you have some very strange friends.

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GabriellaMontez · 24/06/2020 10:41

Are these people your friends? If so you need to replace them.

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qwertyuiop098 · 24/06/2020 10:42

What? Who on earth was bold enough to make the comment about not trusting him around the kids and was your response anything other than “sorry, just to clarify you are saying my husband is a paedophile because he teaches kids? What is wrong with you?” This is completely insane.

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dontlikebeards · 24/06/2020 10:42

Ignore them. Some people are really stupid and ignorant. My DD is 10 and responds much better to Male teachers, her school is totally female teachers, I wish there were more male teachers.

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NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 24/06/2020 10:43

The only thing that you're missing out on is the judgmental attitude of others – and that you can do without.

I wish your DH all the best and hope that he loves his new career Smile

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Hingeandbracket · 24/06/2020 10:43

I might expect this attitude from some old fashioned elderly people but some of these people are young and liberal friends of ours. Am I missing something here?
Yes, yes you are, and it's this -
People who like to pretend to be woke and current often aren't.
Not all elderly people are old fashioned.

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LegallyBlue · 24/06/2020 10:44

See! I thought this too! But then I googled a bit and found loads of threads where people were talking about being concerned about male primary school teachers and considering pulling their children out because of it - I thought maybe I was the one being naive rather than them being crazy.

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LemonTT · 24/06/2020 10:44

There are some ridiculous opinions in the world borne of ignorance and prejudice. For example some people think that just because you are old you have outdated and batshit opinions. Not unsurprisingly they are friendly with people who think male teachers are paedophiles.

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Pukkatea · 24/06/2020 10:44

Ugh. If we are going to break down these stupid stereotypes we need more men teaching in primary schools in the same way we need more women CEOs.

Do any of them have kids? Do their husbands/partners have anything to do with them or would that be too paedophilic?

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LegallyBlue · 24/06/2020 10:46

@Hingeandbracket @LemonTT To be clear, I said "some old fashioned elderly people" not "elderly people" or "all elderly people". I explicitly clarified that I was only referring to elderly people who have outdated opinions.

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Chartsandgraphs · 24/06/2020 10:48

Well, men are a greater risk to small children. It doesn't mean I don't support male teachers but the plain fact is that they are a greater risk.

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SummerInSun · 24/06/2020 10:50

Your friends are bizarre - and I suspect spend way too much time reading the sensationalist gutter press. We desperately need more men to go into early childhood and primary teaching. My boys have had a couple of male teachers and loved them. And the general consensus of all the parents has always been that it is so helpful for the boys to have male teachers as role modes, and many boys respond better to them.

As to why your husband would enjoy it, wouldn't anyone who is passionate and committed about the education of children be keen to be involved in education at an early stage when the children need to lay good foundations for later in life? (And aren't primary school aged children with their enthusiasm more fun to be with than silky entitled teens?).

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NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 24/06/2020 10:53

Not all elderly people are old fashioned.

I'm vaguely elderly and still somewhat 'down with the kidz' Grin

I don't think that the OP meant anything by it, to be honest Blush

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LemonTT · 24/06/2020 10:53

Why do you think only old people hold outdated views. This is prejudice. Using “some” when you have picked out and targeted a group for stereotyping is bigotry. You apparently don’t attribute this to any other group.

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romdowa · 24/06/2020 10:54

This is one of the most bizarre things I've ever heard. So everyman who is a primary school teacher is a predator according to your friends ? Can they hear themselves? Honestly they would want to be careful before they end up being sued for slander, that is a serious accusation to level against a person.
I'd be dropping them as friends immediately.

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GinWithRosie · 24/06/2020 10:54

OP...I am a primary school teacher, and that response from your 'friends' is appalling! You need to challenge it head on.

A previous poster told you to ignore it! Please don't do this. Male teachers deserve to be backed up when faced with this type of prejudice. It is very damaging.

And once you have challenged them, find new friends!

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rosegoldwatcher · 24/06/2020 10:54

I am in almost all instances a non-confrontational person but if anyone said that to me I could do no other than to tell them to take their nasty, uninformed prejudices and stick them where the sun doesn't shine.

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Sandybval · 24/06/2020 10:55

Sadly yes, some ignorant people do think like this and it's naieve to think otherwise. However many don't, and it's a great asset to schools to have male teachers as well as female for the students imo.

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WendyHoused · 24/06/2020 10:57

I think we need more male teachers in primary school, not fewer.

Your friends are very weird.

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AdultierAdult · 24/06/2020 10:57

Your friends sound perverted, best of luck to your husband on his new role.

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LegallyBlue · 24/06/2020 10:57

@LemonTT I didn't say only elderly people have outdated views. I said I would be more likely to expect outdated views from elderly people for the obvious reason that people often retain views from their own youth beyond a time that society has moved on. It's a fact. Stop trying to be offended.

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StatisticallyChallenged · 24/06/2020 10:58

My husband works in childcare and there absolutely are some people with these prejudices

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Want2beme · 24/06/2020 10:59

I'm middle aged, had several male teachers at primary school and really enjoyed their classes. I wouldn't have a negative reaction towards men being primary school teachers. It wouldn't even cross my mind.

I'd be asking people to explain themselves if they imply that your husband's motives are questionable.

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022828MAN · 24/06/2020 10:59

Did you friends say this?!

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PurpleDaisies · 24/06/2020 11:01

Very strange. Usually people love male primary school teachers.

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