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to still keep teen DD distancing from BF

(9 Posts)
tactum Wed 24-Jun-20 10:13:59

DD (18 in Sep) has been with BF for 10 month, very good relationship, obviously much of that in lockdown. I know they have had sex pre march and was fine with it, very mature, discussions etc. She has met BF for a socially distanced walk once but nothing more.

Following the 'bubble' announcement last week she has now told me most of her friends are allowed to have their BF in their house and are seeing them normally, ie. close, and their parents are ok with this.

I am very much sticking to the rules and have throughout. AIBU to still say she can't have him in the house? I feel a bit mean and dont want to damage their relationship. On the news yesterday one of the science men said the July 4 guidelines could be in place til next spring which could potentially kill the relationship as even those guidelines don't allow for intimacy between 2 multi people households.

I'm really torn. Surely if we allow him in, we all social distance, she showers and washes bedding, wipes surfaces etc the risks are minimal? I'm really torn between sticking to the rules or helping them still feel connected.

OP’s posts: |
sociallydistained Wed 24-Jun-20 10:14:54

Yes you must!

Normalmumandwife Wed 24-Jun-20 10:20:22

@tactum

Well the rules change again from 4th July. She could have him stay over and the recommendation (not legal requirement) is to socially distance. However, no one has explained how anyone who isn't living together can have a sexual relationship anytime soon...as my understanding is this is likely to now be the norm for months, probably into next year!

I dint think it is likely to happen do you? Teenagers not having sex for 12 months......not likely

Waxonwaxoff0 Wed 24-Jun-20 10:22:53

People are allowed to stay overnight from July 4th and social distancing will not be mandatory in households so I think you would be U not to allow it from then.

Snowdown24 Wed 24-Jun-20 10:36:55

Wouldn’t you rather them be at yours or be out somewhere else? That’s the only question really because I very much doubt they will social distance much longer, especially at that age.

HogwartsForever11 Wed 24-Jun-20 10:41:38

The new guidance from 4th July is that two households can meet indoors, including staying overnight, but you should still socially distance from anyone not inside your household. It seems to be guidance now, rather than a legal requirements.
So really she could have him stay over if they agree to physically distance, but where would he sleep? And are they likely to abide by the distancing?

tactum Wed 24-Jun-20 11:42:19

Yes I am minded to say from 4th July they can not social distance from eachother, but still from other members of our households. As you say they are guidelines not law.

So many people seem to be taking risks with people they aren't even committed to - our social club have set up a big marquee outside and all the blokes are meeting to watch the footie on a big screen and there is absolutely no attempt to social distance. People walking around town in large groups.

I understand that obviously being intimate is prolonged and close contact so yes, if he is infected he could well pass it on, but both of them have socially distanced brilliantly the whole time, and I am beginning to feel the emotional impact outweighs the risk. Also, his family are fine with them getting together, as is my husband, so I would be the bad guy in all this.

OP’s posts: |
Swimmingwiththebees Wed 24-Jun-20 11:56:48

As everyone has said I think you need to use your common sense on this one. I think they are unlikely to change guidance and tell people not to socially distance until the threat from the virus has gone (which as others say could be up to a year). This is to protect people.

Realistically though your daughter is in an adult relationship and cannot be expected not to have close contact with her boyfriend much longer. If you enforce these rules they will likely either go behind your back or she might decide to move out so she can see him.

The risk is low now, unless you are of particularly high risk e.g. shielding, you need to take a pragmatic view to this.

Glitteryone Wed 24-Jun-20 12:29:15

I’d allow it

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