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AIBU?

If dh has deleted search history?

57 replies

022828MAN · 24/06/2020 06:51

I just want to preface this by saying that I'm pregnant and have been feeling very sensitive and hormonal recently so this may well be a total reach.

Anyway, I don't make a habit of looking on dh phone at all, I have very little reason to distrust him or feel he's being sneaky so wouldn't usually do this.

A couple of days ago dh was acting a bit quiet and weird, went into the bathroom for a while with his phone and just seemed to be acting strangely. Tried to put it to the back of my mind that it's probably nothing, I asked him if everything was okay and he said he was just on ebay (he does have an online shop on there).

This morning something just came over me whilst I was in the shower to check his phone - I know this is wrong and I'd be really upset if he did this to me. Anyway on his Google search history it was completely clear. I would only think someone would do this if there's something to hide, but maybe people do this frequently for other reasons. Do they? I don't want to say anything as I know I'm in the wrong and literally have no reason to think he's upto no good, other than a weird gut feeling I had a couple of days ago. But that could well just be hormones and over thinking.

Should I be concerned?!

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LellyMcKelly · 24/06/2020 06:54

Maybe he was watching porn.

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022828MAN · 24/06/2020 06:54

Whilst *he was in the shower

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SonEtLumiere · 24/06/2020 06:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluebellForest836 · 24/06/2020 06:55

Is it possible he watched porn and sorted himself out in the bathroom? Deleted the history just incase ?

Besides the above, I regularly delete my history as I google all sorts of weird crapGrin

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Callingallskeletons · 24/06/2020 06:57

I would assume it was porn too rather than jumping to any other conclusions

I have been known to delete my search history when my phone is low on memory (and then I go on a deleting spree)

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022828MAN · 24/06/2020 07:13

Perhaps. We recently talked about porn and he told me since having DD he feels very differently about it and wouldn't get aroused now, particularly knowing how abusive it is. Although of course he may just say that and I'm possibly quite naive in believing it.

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crispysausagerolls · 24/06/2020 07:26

Disagree with posters;

I think it’s highly suspicious. Know why? There’s a “clear the last hour” option on history. If porn, why not just do that?

Clearing the whole history is odd and reeks of hiding something.

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PlanDeRaccordement · 24/06/2020 07:31

I regularly clear my history. It’s just good computing practice to do so. All the cookies add up and slow down my computer. They also passively collect data long after you’ve been to the website. For example, you may buy something from a shop a few weeks ago and then an advert for it starts showing up on other websites.
I clear my history on my phone at least weekly for the same reasons.

The people who think clearing history is “odd” have no idea about all the background monitoring and tracking the cookies do behind you back.

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havingnumber2 · 24/06/2020 07:33

My search history never saves, maybe his is set the same.

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GinDrinker00 · 24/06/2020 07:35

I clear mine all the time else my phone slows down, why not just ask him? You clearly don’t trust him to be going through his search history.

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Angel2702 · 24/06/2020 07:36

I often clean my history to clear memory space on my phone. I also often end up in private browsing mode unintentionally so it wouldn’t record any sites visited if he uses that.

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Anditsgin111 · 24/06/2020 07:38

Definitely watching porn. Yeah you're being naive. Just agreeing with you to avoid argument and drama.

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Samsen · 24/06/2020 07:38

Hi. As a woman I often clear my search history and I have nothing to hide. I have some ocd traits and one of them is things like clearing my history off my phone, I can’t stand seeing loads of unread emails too or Facebook notifications adding up so I read and clear them more or less straight away. I know I’m odd but it’s just one of my things. Me and my dh’s use each other’s phones sometimes to do things like play games and I email often off his phone as my phone is a nightmare at times for connection. The only time he’s ever cleared history is if he’s been looking something up and one of our dc want to use the phone and it’s not really appropriate for them to see, usually news headlines that kind of thing. To me it all sounds rather innocent but if you’re worried speak to him about it again.

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Lazydaisydaydream · 24/06/2020 07:39

I clear my history because of the cookies reason mentioned above. Also if I am ever looking for something for a present for DH I then delete my history because we have access to each others phones and I wouldn't want my history or the Ads that pop up because of it to ruin the surprise!

Maybe just ask him if he regularly deletes his history?

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Plbrookes · 24/06/2020 07:39

@crispysausagerolls
Or why not delete all rather than need to work out whether all the embarrassing searches were in the last 60 minutes?

Maybe he was watching porn. Maybe he's got a minor but embarrassing (to him) health issue and was deciding whether to get treatment. Maybe all sorts of things. I'm certainly not dismissing how you feel OP but it doesn't sound to me like something to worry about as a one-off.

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022828MAN · 24/06/2020 07:40

Ah OK, I didn't know anything about clearing history for the phone, I'm not at all tech savvy, and as I don't make a habit of checking his phone maybe he does it weekly or it doesn't save at all.
As I say I think I've been feeling particularly sensitive recently so I will accept its probably harmless. Thanks for the replies.

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TomNook · 24/06/2020 07:41

Lol at him not watching it now Grin

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022828MAN · 24/06/2020 07:45

I actually believe he doesn't watch porn anymore. I know him very well and would be able to tell if he was saying something simply to appease me. We've watched various things over the last few years about the harm and abuse in the sex industry and he has told me off his own back that he finds it really vile, I didn't prompt him to or tell him he can't. I know people won't believe that but I do.

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Sarahlou252 · 24/06/2020 07:49

I clear mine too, for no other reason that it feels like clearing my head, just as I delete emails I dont need, even though you dont have to.
DH never looks at my phone. I still do it. It could well be nothing.

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SaskiaRembrandt · 24/06/2020 07:52

@PlanDeRaccordement

I regularly clear my history. It’s just good computing practice to do so. All the cookies add up and slow down my computer. They also passively collect data long after you’ve been to the website. For example, you may buy something from a shop a few weeks ago and then an advert for it starts showing up on other websites.
I clear my history on my phone at least weekly for the same reasons.

The people who think clearing history is “odd” have no idea about all the background monitoring and tracking the cookies do behind you back.

This ^ I find it odd that people don't clean their browsers. Not doing it is the equivalent of dumping sweet wrappers on the floor and then wondering why your carpet is covered in sticky crap.
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SadSisters · 24/06/2020 07:56

I regularly clear my entire history because it somehow feels more secure to me than google having access to everything I have ever looked at (I accept this is naive and they have this info anyway but it makes me feel better).

Is there anything else that has you feeling suspicious OP? Has his general behaviour changed recently?

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heartsonacake · 24/06/2020 08:01

Yep, YABU. And that was really awful of you to invade his privacy like that; you have absolutely no right.

There could be a multitude of reasons, including the many suggested above, but also, he might not have search history because he uses incognito.

I know a lot of people—myself included—that just use incognito and not a regular browser because you can’t be tracked that way. It’s nothing nefarious.

But to be honest, even if he was watching porn, that’s his own business and his right to do that and you can’t control him by saying he can’t watch it.

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SorrySadDog · 24/06/2020 08:04

I clear my browser history all the time so DP doesn’t see how often I am on mumsnet..... or how often I google wedding dresses....

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022828MAN · 24/06/2020 08:05

But to be honest, even if he was watching porn, that’s his own business and his right to do that and you can’t control him by saying he can’t watch it.

I've never said he can't watch it.

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022828MAN · 24/06/2020 08:06

@SorrySadDog

I clear my browser history all the time so DP doesn’t see how often I am on mumsnet..... or how often I google wedding dresses....

Grin
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