Kids co- sleeping since pandemic(16 Posts)
Both my kids have wanted to sleep in the same room as me again since the pandemic started- DD 8 is in the bed with me and DS 12 is on the floor on a mattress. DP is in another room!
I actually don’t mind but aibu to be worried? Both of them seem to have regressed a bit and I am assuming it’s because this whole time has made them quite anxious
Talk with them. How they feel. I what the read and hear. I how it has effected them. I maybe the can temporary sleep together in the same room? Your 2 kids together I mean do that you can share the bed with your husband again?
They are definitely both fed up- both want to be back in school and in normal life
DS is 8 and has been cosleeping with me since March, poor DH in the spare room.
He’s been unsettled by it all and found lockdown hard - he’s an only child.
He’s back at school 4 days a week so I need to tackle getting him into his own bed I suppose.
He’s lovely to sleep with though and he won’t be doing it forever so tempted to make the most of it!
How does your DP feel?
I might sound harsh but I think it's ridiculous that you have a 12yo and 8yo sleeping in the same room as you whilst your partner sleeps in another room.
But if you're all happy then what's the issue? 🤷♀️
If you don’t mind then don’t change it. Sounds like they are anxious and seeking physical contact to help manage that, there are other ways to manage anxiety but this doesn’t sound like it does harm and maybe actually quite nice.
If you're happy with the situation then carry on, if not I'd try to break the habit as soon as possible
My children slept in my room at the beginning of lockdown, my husband wasn't living with us at the time as his job was high risk and I have 2 children with asthma.
There whole world had been turned upside down and they needed the comfort.
Husband came back a few weeks ago and they have slowly gone back in there own rooms.
Its been a hard time for a lot of people and if you and your husband are ok with them being in your bedroom then I don't see a problem.
Hopefully when things start settling a bit and school resumes they might start feeling less anxious and go back into their own beds.
Agree with @HardHatOptional
I’m not against co sleeping with Young children and babies, or poorly kids for a night to keep an eye on them, but i really wouldn’t have my 8 & 12 year old with me whilst my husband slept next door! It’s been 90+ days?
I question whether you should have shielded them better from the news. What has made them so anxious?
DS has a health condition so we have had to shield him. That’s probably not helped
@BalanchineBallet raises a good point. You need to explore why your children are do anxious and address it. Letting them sleep in your room isn't really the answer.
I know that things may be scary for children right now but what they need is some regular routine and a sense of normality. What you can keep the same, you should.
One thing, you say they are fed up and want normal life. Why not start at home then? Back in their own beds, instill a stronger routine, get them out after school to do permitted sports etc. Not “normal” but a version of it.
OP I have an 8 year old dd and she has co slept sometimes.My adviceis do what you need to do to get through this.If the kids need more then they just do,its ok.I think what helped me with my dd was limiting the amount of noise she heard about corvid 19 and by limiting it I mean severley limiting it! She had questions of course she did and I answered them in an age appropriate way coated with a but of sugar! Yes it makes people poorly but when we clap for the NHS it is to say thank you for making the people better so they can go home to their families.She didnt need to be frightened half to death with actual facts.As adults most of us have been anxious,frustrated and downright terrified at times so imagine how hard it is for young minds to proccess this.As life begins to restart and we can go for a happy meal etc I found this has helped her be ore settled.The happymeal thing was a huge turning point for her in realizing that yes it is fine to go to the drive in with mum and it was safe,nothing happened and it was just like it was before.A tiny thing but huge to her.We bought masks and we wear them when out and we make a game of it.We play spot who has the best mask on.Now many peoplemay disagree of what may appear to be my handling of it with her and I understand that but she went through such a bad phase and regressed a lot a while ago it was heartbreaking to watch,she was frightened and began wetting the bed and laying there in it crying etc it was awful and anything I could do to make her feel more secure in her own mind was worth it.So crack on do whatever you need to get your kids through the other side.No right or wrongs in this situation. Iwish you and your family well.
I sometimes go for sleepovers into my DC's rooms. Mine are 8 & 10.
They both have been anxious at different times (MIL died from C19, no school, bad dreams etc). It's helped them settle down again in extraordinary circumstances so it's fine by me.
I've assumed that some regression is normal during times of uncertainty. DS11 has taken to carrying his teddy bear with him 24/7 and occasionally cones into our bed, which is highly unusual for him. He says he's not worried but likes having the extra comfort, which I don't have a problem with. I'm sure he'll go back to normal once he returns to school. If it works for you then don't worry about it.
OP. if it makes you feel any better, my 15yo has been co sleeping with me and DH is in a different room. It isn't at all ideal but is the only way she feels safe to go to sleep. (She is under the care of a counsellor and the GP.)
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